Cheating can completely turn a relationship upside down. It’s scary to imagine, but around 16% of married couples admit to having an affair at some point. The infidelity can change everything and bring to light some serious issues in the marriage that both partners could never imagine.
A woman found herself in the same position when she got pregnant. She was just going to reveal it to her fiancé when he admitted to cheating. The news was so devastating that she had to make one of the hardest decisions about her pregnancy.
Fiancée who got cheated on decided to end her pregnancy instead of struggling as a single mom and having to manage joint custody with the ex who broke her heart
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
The woman and her BF were high school sweethearts who had been together for 7 years, one day he brought his mistress to their house and said they had been having an affair for a year
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
The heartbroken poster, who was pregnant, revealed that after he admitted to cheating, she realized that she did not want to co-parent or be a single mom
Image credits: Eren Li (not the actual photo)
A few days later, she terminated the pregnancy and let him know about it, but he was enraged since he had always wanted kids, and his mean words made her feel like a jerk
Image credits: u/Gummytoeswithcream
She explained that even though she felt selfish for her actions, the thought of having a baby alone would have made her unhappy, especially after he broke her heart
The grief-stricken poster was vulnerable enough to share what was probably one of the most difficult situations of her life. She revealed that she and her fiancé had been together for 7 years. During their relationship, he had been cheating with another woman for over a year. He even had the audacity to bring his mistress to their house and break the news to the poster.
The unfortunate part was not just that her relationship had ended, it was also that she was pregnant. She had not told him the news, but when he revealed the affair, she realized that she did not want to have the baby. She had never been that interested in the idea of having kids, unlike him. So, she broke the news to him and terminated the pregnancy a few days later.
Bored Panda reached out to the post's author, u/Gummytoeswithcream, to understand how she was coping with the decision. She said, "I do not think I will regret it. It's been around a month, and I don't really miss the potential child. Maybe I will regret it in the future, but it just doesn't seem that as of now. I have been feeling pretty neutral, like truthfully I just feel like everything said and done has not happened."
She added, "I feel like everything has happened really fast, and I'm not realizing why I am not crying or angry or anything. I'm just doing what I do. Wake up, breakfast, brush my teeth, shower, get ready for work, lunch break, leave work, go home, dinner, shower, then sleep."
This is an incredibly tough decision to make. According to the WHO, there are nearly 73 million pregnancy terminations that happen every year. It’s a physically and mentally challenging option that nobody chooses lightly. Some netizens were enraged by the woman’s decision, and she clarified that she did not do it out of revenge.
She told commenters, “I didn't [end the pregnancy] to get back at him because I hate kids and he should be punished or something. I did it because I didn't want to ruin that kid’s life and mine. I would not love that baby and as controversial as it sounds, I would probably do some things that I wouldn't be proud of if I had them. No one but him and maybe his girlfriend knows about it.”
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
When she informed her ex-fiancé about her decision, he blew up at her. He had always wanted a big family, and even though he had cheated, he expected her to go ahead with the pregnancy. He couldn’t believe she would have gone ahead with the termination without checking with him first. But, the woman stated again that she barely liked kids, and the idea of having the baby of the man who cheated on her did not make sense.
We asked the author if her ex had contacted her and what he had to say. She said: "In short, he emailed me, he nitpicked my looks and the form of my chest and behind size, and he went on about if I did not have [a pregnancy termination], he would have considered dating me again or even getting married."
Despite the man’s reaction and some mean words from commenters, the woman was firm with her choice. Research found that women who went through with the termination of pregnancy experienced less anxiety than those who were denied the option. Another survey showed that of 226 women who ended their pregnancy, 33% who wanted to do it experienced positive mental health gains after it happened. Of the remaining women, 60% said they would have preferred to give birth if they had more support from the people in their lives.
Emotional and social support is so important when someone chooses to end their pregnancy. This is because the decision comes with a whole host of emotional and physical side effects that are difficult to deal with all alone. As the woman had mentioned, she didn’t want kids but didn’t mind them either, and if the man hadn’t cheated, she would have probably had the baby. But knowing the future that lay ahead of her, she decided to make this hard choice.
It’s nobody else’s place to tell the woman what she should or shouldn't have done. Though the situation was extremely complicated, the man had no right to get angry with her because he had been having an affair. The woman said she would share an update on her situation after a while. We hope she’s in a better mental space now.
Do you agree with how the poster handled the situation? What are your thoughts?
Most netizens sided with the woman and told her that she definitely dodged a bullet judging by her ex’s behavior
