While having kids certainly isn’t for everyone, it is the path that most people take in many countries. The United States Census Bureau reports that from age 30 onward, the majority of women are mothers. Meanwhile, about 6 in ten men over the age of 15 are fathers.
Because having children is so common, the decision to have a kid isn’t always taken as seriously as it should be. Some people never planned on it but decided to go through with an unexpected pregnancy. Others may have been looking forward to it, but they failed to understand just how drastically a child would impact their life. Nothing can truly prepare you for parenthood, but the more you know, the better. Because an unprepared or disengaged parent might end up getting roasted on a list just like this.
Now, we want to make it clear that this list is not meant to shame all parents. We completely understand that nobody is perfect, and all moms and dads have days when it feels like nothing is going right. But being extremely entitled or making choices that place your children in danger definitely shouldn’t go unchecked.
Johns Hopkins reports that nearly half of children growing up in the United States are exposed to traumatic social or family experiences during childhood. While parents can’t protect their kids from everything, they are sometimes responsible for these experiences. And this can have a lifelong impact on kids, sometimes even leading to them becoming estranged from their parents in adulthood.
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Mark Travers, PhD, wrote a piece for Psychology Today about how even good parents can traumatize their children unintentionally. First, he notes that parents can do damage by failing to tune in for their kids, even if they do care for them. Kids need more than just food and a roof over their heads to thrive. They need emotional support, someone who will listen to them, someone who is invested in their accomplishments, and of course, lots of love.
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In the same vein, Dr. Travers warns that parents can harm their kids by failing to give them emotional feedback. When kids are left to try to understand and navigate their feelings completely on their own, they can become confused or overwhelmed easily. They might wonder whether what they’re feeling is normal at all, and they might struggle to find healthy coping mechanisms.
Something else children desperately need from their parents is affection. But it can’t just come and go sporadically; it has to be consistent. Dr. Travers explains that children who cannot rely on their parents to provide affection will learn to minimize their feelings. In adulthood, they will likely be uncomfortable asking for support or showing vulnerability, and they may chronically feel lonely.
Something that many people refuse to accept is that not all parents are happy with their choice to have kids. And while this does not justify treating them poorly, it may explain it in some cases. A 2021 YouGov survey found that one in twelve parents actually regret having children. They would probably never say this outloud, and they likely felt extreme guilt admitting it. But this is just one more reason why the decision to have children should never be taken lightly. Kids deserve the best, and their parents should be sure that they want them.
