30 People Who Grew Up With Strict Parents Share The Most Absurd Rule They Had To Live By

"The authoritarian parenting style seems utterly archaic and reminiscent of Victorian times, to me," Vicki Broadbent, the author of Mumboss: The Honest Mum’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work and at Home, told Bored Panda.

"It certainly reminds me of the style of teaching I was subjected to at strict private schools I attended (and wasn't a fan of). It's not how I raise my own children nor is it how I'd advise others to either."

"Children need love and, most importantly, to know they are loved (through actions and words) in order to thrive. It is our duty of care as parents and guardians to be compassionate and nurturing whilst exercising boundaries," Broadbent said, adding that this doesn't mean you throw discipline out of the window.

"It's important children learn how to be respectful and follow rules but there is a gentle way of exercising those. Being firm and fair but equally loving. To criticize the behavior, not the child. For example, when my 13-year-old spoke rudely to me today, he lost access to his phone. The punishment must fit the crime."

Of course, mistakes happen. Especially when it comes to something as challenging as raising a child.

In fact, the statement that it is the hardest job in the world isn't just a catchphrase. According to a new Pew Research Center survey, most American parents (62%) say being a parent has been at least somewhat harder than they expected, with about a quarter (26%) saying it's been a lot harder.

This is especially true of mothers, 30% of whom say being a parent has been a lot harder than they expected (compared with 20% of fathers).

The same survey also asked whether moms and dads tend to stick to their guns too much or give in too quickly, praise or criticize their children too much, be overprotective or give too much freedom, and push their children too hard or not hard enough, and the share which said neither option accurately describes their parenting style ranged from 34% to 53%, meaning that most households probably couldn't be described as solely strict or flexible, and have features of both.

"If you push your children to feel they must achieve 10/10 and nothing is ever good enough, they will feel constantly on edge and that your love is conditional," Vicki Broadbent said. "Focus on praising your children on their behavior, attitude, kindness etc., outside of school objectives/exams."

Analyzing your own past will probably point you in the right direction when you aren't sure how to react to a particular situation. "Reflecting back on my own high school days, I felt disrespected, dismissed and that I could never do any good in my teachers' eyes so I stopped trying," Broadbent added. "It's a miracle I did well academically."

"Children fare better mentally, physically, and academically when they feel emotionally safe and furthermore, when they're having fun," Broadbent said.

"Parenting is a tough gig no doubt, no one expects you to be perfect, we're all simply trying our best but my advice, is to be the parent you wish you had in your life if yours didn't match up to expectations and reconnect with your inner child and how you felt at your kids' age."

Luckily, it sounds like most moms and dads are succeeding. When KidsHealth.org and TIME for Kids surveyed over 9,000 children ages 8 to 14, 85% of them said they have fun with their parents and 79% said they feel close to them.