Parents are responsible for a significant portion of a child's identity and who that child grows into. Equally, the absence of one or both parents affects a person just as strongly, and it can easily turn warm feelings associated with words such as 'mom' or 'dad' into something a lot more negative.
One Reddit user recently shared a story about a girl who felt this exact way not too long ago. She never had a good father figure in her life, and ever since her mom passed, she was left parentless. When this man decided to adopt her, she found it hard to call him 'dad' despite knowing him her whole life. However, when she finally did it, he couldn't be happier. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Being appreciated as a step-parent is probably one of the best feelings there is, but it can only happen naturally
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
A man and his wife adopted their daughter's adult best friend Beth and her younger siblings after their mother passed away due to COVID
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Despite knowing the man nearly her whole life and introducing him to her friends as her dad, Beth found it hard to call him that directly
Image credits: u/dataninja_of_alchemy
When she finally did call him dad when it was just the two of them, the man became exhilarated and said that he couldn't ask for anything more
The OP's daughter's best friend, who, for the sake of the story, he decided to call Beth, together with her 2 younger siblings, moved in with the man and his family when her mom passed away due to COVID.
Even though the family adopted Beth as an adult, she had known them since she was 5 years old. However, until becoming part of this family, she never had a good father figure in her life, and, thus, the word 'Dad' was hardly anything positive for her.
In the years since her adoption, Beth seemed to accept the man as her dad, even introducing him to her colleagues and friends that way. While she might've never called him dad directly, he was completely fine with it.
However, things took a very wholesome turn when, during one of their late-night McDonald's drives, the woman was blasting some Demi Lovato and suddenly got a grip of herself, telling OP, "You're my Dad, I can't play that!" This put a smile on his face that lasted for days. The man explained that even though she never called him 'Dad' directly, the thought of her saying it when it was just the two of them made his heart sing.
The comments section seemed nearly as joyous as the author while he was writing his post. People online praised the man for being a great dad, made jokes, and even shared their own stories, but it seemed that the wholesomeness of the story took everyone over.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The story took place roughly 9 months ago, and naturally, we were very curious to learn how things have developed since. Fortunately, we weren't left guessing for long because Bored Panda reached out to u/dataninja_of_alchemy, and he was glad to answer some questions.
"A couple of months later, she shared one of my posts of some pictures I took on her Facebook with the caption 'my dad is literally one of the best photographers,'" began the OP, sharing how he still pulls that post up just to look and grin at it from time to time. "She initially didn't want her adoption to us to be made public, as she thought her family might not take it well, so announcing that on social media was huge."
The man added that even though Beth still doesn't call him 'Dad' in person, she has recently sent him a text saying that he's a good dad, and to the poster, that is more than enough. He emphasized that the important part is that they talk daily, and he always tells her he loves her.
"I frequently tell her she is the bravest person I know," continued the man, reminiscing over other stories with him and Beth. He shared how when she first came to live with them, despite being terrified of being rejected, the woman decided that she couldn't move in before coming out as gay to them.
"I wrapped her up in a hug as quickly as possible and told her of course she could move in. Because we live in a conservative part of the country, she truly believed we would turn away from her or worse, and yet she came out to us," the man explained, adding how even after all the terrible things that the woman has experienced in her life, she's still one of the most positive and trusting people the OP has ever known.
Image credits: Uriel Mont (not the actual photo)
The author brought this story to Reddit not for internet popularity or to garner praise for being a great dad, which he was reluctant to accept. It was simply to share his joy. Besides his wife, he had no one else to talk to, and gloating about it around the family could possibly make Beth feel obliged to start calling him dad, which he didn't want to do.
The poster was surprised by how positive the comments section beneath his thread was. "When living in the land of trolls, one expects to step in snark and cruelty occasionally, but every response I received has been uplifting," commented the man descriptively, adding that while he was a little surprised about the popularity of his story, he knew it was possible because of some of his previous posts.
To end off, the OP left us with a piece of very valuable advice for anyone stepping into a parental role for a child who's not biologically theirs: "Take your time and make the time," said the man, emphasizing that if the child wants to talk or share with you whatever interest or passion they might have, you should always go for it. "DO IT. Never say 'not now' or 'maybe later,' if at all possible. You only get a precious few chances to be let into their world."
The author added that whatever problems the child might have, you shouldn't try to fix all of them. In some situations, therapy can be very useful, but first and foremost: "Accept that you may not be the person they go to for everything going on in their life, but make sure they have someone they can."
Ultimately, playing the role of a parental figure is a huge and immensely significant task, no matter how you and that person are tied together. However, despite carrying such a responsibility, one shouldn't forget that the child still lives a life of their own, and you can't demand to be let in. Take the chances that come along, and, hopefully, the rest will follow.
What did you think about this story? Do you have any similar stories you'd like to share? The comments section is waiting for you!
The commenters praised the man for being a great dad and, taken over by the wholesomeness of the post, shared their own stories
