May I have your attention, please? Thanks! And now for an incredibly wholesome hack on how to avoid a lot of problems, major and minor, while preparing for your wedding. So, take a pencil and write down: in order to avoid many problems at the wedding, you need... to abandon the practice of family photographs! That's all, folks!
Don't believe that everything is that simple? Want some proof? Voila! One, two... do you want more? Okay, then three, four - these are all tell-tale stories, when real wedding drama has ensued over photographs. But seriously, the story we’re about to tell you today, from the user u/Reasonable_Read222, is also to some extent connected with wedding photographs.
The author of the post recently got married, and all her numerous relatives were present at the wedding
Image credits: Matheus Bertelli (not the actual photo)
Among them was a 14 Y.O. named Ally, who is the author's SIL's younger sister
Image credits: u/Reasonable_Read222
The author's younger siblings treated Ally as their own sister, but the age gap with the author was pretty big for being more than just friends
Image credits: Juliana Navajas Robb (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Reasonable_Read222
So when the time came for the group photo, the bride asked Ally not to be present in it
Image credits: Darina Belonoova (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Reasonable_Read222
The girl was devastated and the bride's relatives all told her that she behaved rudely here
So, the Original Poster (OP) is now 26 years old and recently got married. According to the author, she has several younger siblings, and another girl who, in the OP’s family, has long been considered something like a sister. This 14 Y.O., named Ally, is the younger sister of Maya, who is married to one of the OP's brothers.
Maya and Michael, that very brother, had been dating since their freshman year at high school, and it so happened that Maya’s younger sister had always been a welcome guest in the author’s family. The girls' house usually did not have a very friendly atmosphere, so they both, one might say, rested their souls while visiting.
The OP's younger siblings, since they were closer to Ally in age, got along well with her, and the girl herself, as the author notes, is very smart, polite and pleasant to talk to. But an age gap is always an age gap, so for the original poster, let's be honest, she was never part of the family. Just a good family friend, but nothing more.
And so, years passed, and the OP, of course, invited Ally to her wedding, but not as a family member, just as an ordinary guest. And when the time came to take a big family photo, the bride’s mom called Ally to join them all, but the author, wanting to have only immediate family members in the photo, was forced to tell her no.
To Ally’s credit, it must be said that she took this completely calmly, although it was clear that she was upset. But the bride's relatives obviously took this as an insult. Moreover, the OP's mom later told her that Ally cried when she returned home, saying that the author probably didn't love her. And the OP obviously didn’t want or expect such a reaction...
Image credits: Снежана (not the actual photo)
“To be honest, sometimes it seems to me that people attach some overly sacred meaning to wedding photographs,” says Ivan Strahov, a photographer from Odessa, Ukraine, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment about this situation. “Of course, I’ve photographed a lot of weddings, but I’ve only seen something like this once - and then it all ended in a real scandal, literally ruining the party.”
“In the end, it seems to me, the main thing is emotions and memories, and photographs are nothing more than fuel for these memories. But now, when many years later this bride will look at the photo, she will inevitably remember the ugly situation that she herself largely caused. Of course, a wedding is, first of all, a day for two, and no one should impose themselves on anyone as a relative - but it still seems to me that here one could have behaved a little more diplomatically, smoothing the corners a little," Ivan presumes.
People's opinions in the comments to the original post were also divided. Some commenters do believe that the bride’s refusal seemed too harsh, and she really acted inappropriately towards Ally. “You could have gotten your immediate family photos in a much nicer fashion,” one commenter firmly stated.
At the same time, many commenters cannot help but admit that the age gap between the OP and Ally is indeed very significant, so she was actually out of the house when Ally became a factor in her relatives’ lives. So the girl is most likely a true relative for the OP's siblings and parents - but not for herself. “Although your parents are invested in her, she is not your sister, adopted or otherwise,” folks in the comments summarized.
However, the author of the post herself, after reading most of the comments, noted that she treats Ally well in any case, and will try to talk to her to explain the reason for such behavior. It’s quite possible that this is the best way out of this situation. And what do you think, our dear readers?
However, the commenters' opinions were very divided, and people just urged the author to mend fences with Ally
