Fathers play a very important role in making their children feel loved and safe. A good relationship with one’s dad can have a positive impact on a kid’s life. These parental bonds need to be nurtured and valued, but unfortunately, not everyone gets that. There are people who make sinister assumptions about the love that fathers have for their kids.
A Redditor shared how he was caring for his adopted teen son when another parent took issue with his actions and threatened to call the cops on him.
More info: Reddit
Man is accused of being inappropriate with his adopted teen son, starts bawling after the confrontation
Image credits: Katerina Holmes (not the actual photo)
A guy and his spouse adopted a 13-year-old boy who had been through many different foster families
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
During some father-son time at a trampoline park, a random parent noticed the boy resting on him and the dad stroking his hair and called it "inappropriate"
Image credits: Inzmam Khan (not the actual photo)
The other parent threatened to call the cops and did not listen to anything the father had to say, so dad got anxious, took his son to leave and broke down crying in his car
Image credits: u/thai-phlosian
The poster also mentioned that his son had witnessed many traumatic incidents after being with 12 different foster families and that he only wanted to be a good dad to the kid
The Original Poster (OP) is a 33-year-old man. He and his spouse have adopted a 13-year-old child. The author also mentioned that the kid had been through 12 different foster families since he was just 4 years old. In his first family, he had witnessed his father take his mother’s life and go to prison for that. Another foster family was arrested for making illegal substances, and another was physically abusive.
The teen had been through many traumatic moments that had affected his well-being. He had not experienced the love of a parent. Research has also shown that around 80% of foster children experience significant mental health issues as compared to the national average of 20%. Adults who were once in foster homes also have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) at a rate of 5 times more than the general population.
Studies on foster care placement show that children who have to go through multiple home placement changes experience more stress due to the instability. This can also affect other areas of the child’s life, like their emotions, and lead to behavior problems.
In this case, the adoptive father only wanted to give his child the affection and love that he had never experienced. He said that he wanted to be the “good dad he’s never had.” According to the Pediatrics Of Ranklin, “if a father is caring and treats people with respect, the young boy will grow up much the same. When a father is absent, young boys look to other male figures to set the 'rules' for how to behave and survive in the world.”
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
Studies on positive paternal relationships have shown that when fathers are affectionate and caring, it has a huge impact on the child’s cognitive and social development. It also improves their sense of well-being and self-confidence. According to Psych Alive, “many men are love-starved for their fathers (and fathers for their sons) and deny it. To let this ‘out of the bag’ is to face a great deal of anger, rejection, and sadness.”
Other studies on father and child relationships have shown that children who felt their fathers liked and understood them seemed to have better friendships and fewer behavior problems. All of this shows that it’s very important to have a caring and affectionate father figure. In this case, it’s also important for the adoptive parents to address the child’s trauma.
When the father was asked in the comments if his son was in therapy for his trauma, he replied, “he is in play therapy. They usually stop at 12yo at the clinic he goes to, but given the circumstances, they’re letting him as long as he likes to. He talks through his toys at home so this is helpful. I see one myself too for intergenerational trauma where I haven’t found closure yet on seeking affection from my family either.”
That’s why the father recognized the importance of showing his adopted son as much love as possible. He reached out to netizens to ask their opinion on this difficult situation because he was still feeling anxious and upset. The viral post received 10k upvotes and 2.2k comments, with many people being supportive and calling the other parent out for jumping to such terrible conclusions. What do you think the father should have done when he was confronted by the other parent? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Netizens could not believe the audacity of the other parent and called them a “sicko” for thinking of such horrible things
