I believe most of us would be shocked at first to learn that we have step-siblings when one day, out of nowhere, we pass by them in our home. Secondly, we would possibly have quite a lot of questions that we would expect our parents to answer. And finally, then, we would either try to create a relationship or maybe act like they don’t exist.
However, it’s especially important for parents to fulfill the 2nd step - explain the situation to their kids. One Reddit user recently sought help online after her husband’s affair daughter was dropped off at their house. She welcomed her, but the man has not picked up the slack that comes with having a new addition to the family.
More info: Reddit
Finding out about an additional family member - whether it’s a step-kid or step-sibling - could be quite shocking, to say the least
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Woman shares that she got a visit from Child Protective Services and as it turned out, some woman passed away and left her daughter, who turned out to be the OP's husband’s kid
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
It turned out that the woman’s husband had been having an affair, but after hearing that the girl was all alone, the woman welcomed her to their family
Image credits: William Fortunato (not the actual photo)
She noted that she did everything, including cleaning out the new child's room, paying for her tuition and the only thing she asked her husband to do was to explain the situation to their kids
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
Well, her husband did absolutely nothing - the woman emphasized that they are struggling to make ends meet, she’s embarrassed and even their kids are uncomfortable
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After a few weeks, she shared that nothing is changing and she's looking for therapy for her kids and herself as well as a good divorce lawyer
Not long ago, one Reddit user shared her story online, seeking help from online users. She opened up, telling that her husband’s affair daughter suddenly was dropped off at their house and it’s causing quite the issues in their marriage. The post received attention, collecting over 4K upvotes and 1.5K comments.
The original poster (OP) started her story by noting that her life is falling apart and everything is thanks to her husband. So apparently, one day, the couple were visited by Child Protective Services and as it turned out, her husband had an affair which resulted in a daughter. After learning that the 5-year-old girl was alone, the woman welcomed her to the family.
Well, she told her husband that she would help take care of her, he just needed to explain the situation to the kids. However, after a few weeks, the woman’s stepdaughter joins the family and their kids had no idea who she was - apparently, the husband was ‘too ashamed’ to face them. Well, since then, everything has been going downhill, with the kids not taking the news well and her husband not helping at all.
OP noted that she has suggested family therapy, therapy for the kids or marriage therapy, but the husband continues to refuse everything. The woman noted that she doesn’t want to divorce him, but after reading Redditors’ suggestions, she updates that she will be looking into therapy for her and the kids as well as a good divorce lawyer.
Community members shared a few different solutions: “OP, I'm sorry this is happening. It's not fair to you or your children or this little girl. But please stop doing his emotional labor, stop fixing his mistakes, stop covering for him,” one user wrote. “Tell your husband to pull his finger out, stop acting like a fucking victim or you will leave. Honey, personally, I'd leave anyway,” another added.
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
Speaking of infidelity, it obviously leaves a stain on the relationship between the partners, if it doesn't destroy it overall. However, how does it affect kids? Should parents tell them about it?
According to Talk Space, older kids might figure out about the infidelity or perhaps suspect there's more going on. Experts concur that if your child finds out, you shouldn't lie to them. However, you also don't have to include them in your partner's drama or give them too many pointless facts. It's crucial to reassure kids that their parents will get through this and that they did nothing wrong.
Speaking about the effect on kids, the same site does point out that depending on the situation, infidelity can have varying effects on children. While many children, especially younger ones, will be able to sense the hurt and rage that adultery may cause in their parents, many will not be aware that their parents are being unfaithful.
Older kids might recognize the telltale indications of adultery, or at the very least, they might comprehend that their parents feel wounded or deceived in some manner, even if they aren't told what's going on.
Moreover, couples therapist Talal Alseleem listed the long-term effects on children of parents’ infidelity. He noted that he has observed that kids who grew up in an unfaithful household could be more prone to carry that adultery into their relationships in the future.
They could be less prone to trust people in general and might have doubts about a partner even in the absence of any evidence of infidelity.
But what is your take on this story? What would you suggest to the author of this story? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Redditors shamed the woman's husband and told her that she and her kids definitely need therapy
