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Let's start with our relationship. He chose his music career (he thinks he can sing; he can't) over me and my brother. He never paid child support. He would just show up at our house, and we were supposed to be happy that he was there. When he was there, he was very mean and didn’t seem to want to be there.
Our relationship while growing up consisted of family fights (on his side), and mental and physical abuse. He would send birthday and Christmas presents, but it was mainly my step-mom who sent them. There are a lot of mental health issues on his side of the family, and I’m pretty sure he is bipolar.
Start of the issue:
I got married in 2020 and was on decent terms with my father. He walked me down the aisle, etc. Afterwards, I had to get my birth certificate to change my name. When I got it months later, I noticed only my mother was on it. I mentioned it in a random phone conversation with my father that he was not on it. He was slightly upset by this but never mentioned it again.
I went no contact (NC) with my dad in the summer of 2023 because I was just done with arguing
Image credits: Kyle Broad (not the actual photo)
Then in March 2024, my mother received papers from my father. These papers indicated that she would need to sign to add my father to my birth certificate
Image credits: Lewis Keegan (not the actual photo)
My mom called me to see what I wanted to do. I told her not to sign them. It's too late for me. She didn't sign them and continued her life as normal.
July 2024: She called me at work early one morning. She said she had just received a threatening phone call from my father about the papers. I texted him about it.
He said they are state documents and she has to sign them. I will quote him: "I’ll let their office know she doesn’t want to fill out or return them, and see what happens."
I called vital records, and she is under no obligation to return or sign them.
I had lunch with my mother a couple of days ago and listened to the voicemail. It was threatening, and I took a video of it
Image credits: freestocks (not the actual photo)
She also shed some light on why he was not on my birth certificate to begin with. Apparently, after I was born, he looked at me, then looked at my mom, and said, "Um, do you want to tell me something?" implying that I was not his. She said she never wanted to tell me because it broke her heart that he even said it to her.
I think he is doing this out of spite because, to me, there is no reason for him to be added to my birth certificate. My husband will handle anything medical. If you're thinking inheritance, think again. He lives off my step-mom and disability. Plus, he has not tried to do this with my brother.
His mother has taken his side, and I’ve gone NC with her, but everyone else is wondering why he is doing this.
Am I overreacting? Could he be doing this for another reason? I just need someone else’s opinion.
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