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At college, I (F) lived in an apartment with four other students (two girls and two boys). They shared rooms two and two (boys in one, girls in another), and I had my own room, paying a higher price for it. They each had a single bed, and I had a double bed. We all had a great time during the first year. I always left the flat and went to my hometown every weekend. Sometimes I was gone from the apartment from Thursday until Monday.
One Monday, I came back to my room, and it felt weird
Image credits: Bernd 📷 Dittrich (not the actual photo)
Some things were on the floor. I didn’t remember knocking them over, but I thought, “Okay, maybe I knocked them with my suitcase when leaving for home in a hurry.” However, every time I left my room and came back, it smelled strange. I started doubting my senses and sanity (the knocked-over things and the smell).
As I was about to lie down for an afternoon nap (I had woken up at 3 a.m. that day), I saw an earring
Image credits: Image generated by Bored Panda using ChatGPT (not the actual photo)
Not mine. I only have one set that I wear all the time. I jumped out of bed and screamed, because it all made sense. One of the flatmates had used my room and my bed for a one-night stand. I went nuts, because I knew the earrings didn’t belong to any of the girls in the apartment.
I went to confront one of the male flatmates. I knew who it wasn’t and who it was
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev (not the actual photo)
He was drunk as hell and just laughed about it. I went crazy and yelled at him. I called the landlord, explaining what happened and that I would pay the normal rate for a shared room, since this flatmate had used my room. I told the flatmate he would have to pay the extra for my room before calling the landlord. He just laughed it off.
This whole incident happened about four months before I was set to move out. I ended up paying the landlord for three full months for the single room and one month for the shared room (50% less), and I told the flatmate (who had used my room) to pay the remaining. To this day, I don’t know if he ever paid. I am no longer in any kind of contact with him.
Expert’s Advice
You set clear boundaries, advocated for yourself, and held someone accountable for violating your personal space—those are healthy and assertive actions. It’s understandable to feel anger and betrayal; those emotions are valid. Moving forward, focus on letting go of resentment toward someone you no longer see. Holding onto it only prolongs the stress. Use this experience as a reminder of the importance of boundaries, communication, and self-respect—skills that will serve you well in every relationship and living situation.
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