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I (F 39) met Andrew online about five months ago. I laughed at his posts, and we quickly became friends. We flirted a little and started a relationship. It was great at first until a few weeks in when he started to question why I had hearted my male friend’s post, or why I had commented this to my female friend.
To make him feel more secure after he told me how badly his ex had cheated on him, I included him in all my groups I belonged to, hoping he would get to know and love my friends.
I later found out the reason he was acting this way. He’d dumped the woman he’d been texting and exchanging pics with online to be with me
Image credits: Nick Morrison (not the actual photo)
She started threatening me and the life of her live-in partner if I didn’t break up with him.
We had already decided to move in together. I thought once we were properly together, things would get better, but the closer we came to the move-in date, the worse he got. He blocked loads of my friends and wanted me to do the same because they were all "trying it on with me." He included several of his own friends in this, including his best friend Christine.
I told him I couldn’t move in with him because I wouldn’t be controlled. He went crazy and threatened to k*** himself (he didn’t; it was another manipulation technique).
Two days later, we started talking and we reconciled. He admitted he’d been obsessive and crazy, and he would change
Image credits: Melvin (not the actual photo)
He then lectured me on the power of freedom and choosing our own friends, to which I almost laughed.
It turns out he’d unblocked his online fling and had started up with her while we were apart. He got back with me so that he could dump me and look good to his friends. He’s been bad-mouthing me ever since. I’ve had people block me, yell at me—it’s insane. Now he and the woman just post awful things about me that are completely untrue.
His friends have said he blames my being an alcoholic on all our problems (I’ve been sober almost a year; he’s never known me any other way)
Image credits: Jeremy Bishop (not the actual photo)
Now he keeps getting her to get my Facebook accounts deleted through sheer maliciousness, when I’ve had no contact with him since the breakup, except when I asked a mutual friend to ask him if he could please send on my parcel I’d had sent to his address, and I’d reimburse him.
He returned my parcel.
But he’s now treating me the way he treated his other online girlfriend, and I’ve since come to realize he’s toxic. I truly believe he’s the problem.
AITA in this situation? Because I really don’t know anymore.
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