Dogs are awesome. They’re fiercely loyal, intelligent, good for security, and can be trained to do some pretty amazing things, like sniffing out landmines and helping aid in rescue efforts after natural disasters. But they need training, attention, and, depending on the breed, plenty of exercise.
For one Redditor, his dog has a habit of escaping his yard. After this happened for the umpteenth time, he asked his pregnant fiancée to help him look for it, but she said no. The man lost it and called her heartless, but now he's wondering if he was being a jerk.
More info: Reddit
Man’s dog is always escaping his yard, despite his best efforts to keep it contained
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
After the dog escaped yet again, he went searching for it, but couldn’t find it anywhere
Image credits: Kenan Süleymanoğlu / unsplash (not the actual photo)
He tried to enlist the help of his pregnant fiancée, but she said she was sick and tired of chasing after the dog
Image credits: PNW Production / pexels (not the actual photo)
Panicked, the man unleashed a tirade at his fiancée, calling her selfish and heartless
Image credits: West-Lavishness7428
He eventually found the dog, but now he’s wondering if he was a jerk for the verbal abuse
OP begins his story by telling the community that his fiancée is 5 months pregnant and has been feeling both exhausted and nauseous of late. He goes on to add that his dog escapes the yard at least once a week, and usually his fiancée helps him track it down, but not without protest.
In an effort to find out how his dog kept escaping, OP set up cameras, which revealed that the dog was simply scaling his 8ft fence. OP then installed “spinners” on top of the fence, but that didn’t do much to dissuade the escape artist pooch either.
OP goes on to say that one day, he was playing with his dog in the yard when his phone rang. He darted inside to answer it, but, when he turned around, it had gotten out again. Thinking the dog couldn’t have gone far, he started searching for it, to no avail. That’s when he asked his fiancée to join the search party, but she just said no.
OP once again went out looking for the dog but couldn’t find it. Frustrated, he came back and asked his fiancée one more time for help locating the hound, but she snapped at him that she was sick and tired of looking for the lost dog. Panicked, OP lost it and proceeded to unleash a verbal tirade accusing the woman of being both selfish and heartless.
OP admits that his comments were made out of fear and that he apologized to his fiancée once he found the missing mutt, but she just said, “Go screw yourself.” Now OP has turned to Reddit to ask if he’s the jerk in this situation.
If OP can’t take responsibility for a dog, how’s he going to handle the pressures of a newborn baby? From how he describes his behavior in his post, it seems like he needs some lessons in anger management, and pronto. Perhaps some dog training wouldn’t go amiss, either.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
The goal of anger management is to minimize both your emotional feelings and the physiological response that anger causes. You can’t get rid of, or avoid, the people or things that enrage you, nor can you change them. But you can learn to control your reactions.
In her article for Psychology Today, Tchiki Davis Ph.D. writes that many negative emotions—like sadness, shame, or fear—make us want to run for the hills. Anger, on the other hand, makes us want to approach—to fight or confront our enemies. This makes anger an entirely unique negative emotion.
It’s crucial that we manage it, so we don’t end up over-expressing it, but we also have to be cautious not to suppress it, because that’s less than ideal, too. It appears anger has the most benefit to us when expressed and managed in a positive and controlled way.
To deal with anger, it’s likely each individual could benefit from strategies that suit their type of anger best. Those who express their anger too vigorously, for example, may need to develop cognitive skills for reframing experiences and emotional regulation. Conversely, people who suppress their anger might need lessons in communicating it more effectively.
In an article for Cleveland Clinic, the author writes that everyone can benefit from learning anger management skills and adds that, if you have a mental health condition, anger management therapy can have a significant positive impact on your quality of life and relationships.
These conditions could include ADHD, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, depression, and generalized anxiety disorder, among others. If you suffer from any of these conditions, it's worth consulting a mental health professional about the anger management strategies best suited to your specific needs.
How would you have responded if you were in the pregnant fiancée’s shoes? Was the man overreacting, or should he keep a tighter leash on his anger issues? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
Commenters on the post agreed that the man’s behavior was way out of line and that the dog needed more exercise or a new home entirely
