No one likes being treated as a child when they are very much an adult. However, that doesn’t stop the parents of fully grown children from trying to enact their will. Typically annoying, it gets ten times worse when they are just one’s in-laws.
So we’ve gathered some of the worst, most entitled and downright toxic mother-in-law stories from an internet group dedicated to them. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote the most extreme ones and if you’ve ever gone through something similar, be sure to share it in the comments section down below.
#1 MIL Cried When She Saw Her Son Washing The Dishes
My husband and I went through a tough patch last year and we ended up separated for awhile he went back to his parents home, he told his parents alot of our problems and his mom immediately took his side.
Even though me and my husband had problems on both our ends, I feeling overwhelmed while working from home, looking after three kids with no assistance and keeping the house up to date, while my husband felt like I wasn't that interested in him nor our marriage anymore.
I will admit I wish I could have done more to not have us separate, but he refused to help me as he works nights shifts and felt he needed to catch up on sleep and other things during the day.
Like I said his mom, my MIL took his side and made every attempt to attack me for forcing her son to step up. In order to keep our marriage and peace I did ask my husband to try marriage counseling with me, before we caused more issues that lead to a divorce.
Thankfully after a few sessons we saw each other's side of things and put an effort into our marriage and he moved back in.
MIL twice thought she could press her son for details on our progress, but if she didn't like something that had changed she threw a fit over it, I told my husband at our next session how I felt and with the counselors suggestion, told my husband if he could stop talking to me about her, at the same time I was going NC with her. He agreed and whenever she questioned him, he only answered 'great' before changing the subject.
Now recently our counselor suggested a weekend to ourselves, something we haven't had in a while, and we did this weekend, everything was amazing. After working across town on Monday I came back to a spotless house and a cooked meal my husband had made for myself and the kids before he left for work.
His mood was off and when I asked he told me he had to kick out his mother after she showed up with some work papers, but through a massive fit when she saw him washing the dishes, started screaming things like, 'you're not my son, you're not my son, what has that [woman] done to you, you should have ended things months ago'. My husband told her if she was going to act like she was she could leave, she then started crying which resulted in my husband throwing her out.
Even though me and my husband had problems on both our ends, I feeling overwhelmed while working from home, looking after three kids with no assistance and keeping the house up to date, while my husband felt like I wasn't that interested in him nor our marriage anymore.
I will admit I wish I could have done more to not have us separate, but he refused to help me as he works nights shifts and felt he needed to catch up on sleep and other things during the day.
Like I said his mom, my MIL took his side and made every attempt to attack me for forcing her son to step up. In order to keep our marriage and peace I did ask my husband to try marriage counseling with me, before we caused more issues that lead to a divorce.
Thankfully after a few sessons we saw each other's side of things and put an effort into our marriage and he moved back in.
MIL twice thought she could press her son for details on our progress, but if she didn't like something that had changed she threw a fit over it, I told my husband at our next session how I felt and with the counselors suggestion, told my husband if he could stop talking to me about her, at the same time I was going NC with her. He agreed and whenever she questioned him, he only answered 'great' before changing the subject.
Now recently our counselor suggested a weekend to ourselves, something we haven't had in a while, and we did this weekend, everything was amazing. After working across town on Monday I came back to a spotless house and a cooked meal my husband had made for myself and the kids before he left for work.
His mood was off and when I asked he told me he had to kick out his mother after she showed up with some work papers, but through a massive fit when she saw him washing the dishes, started screaming things like, 'you're not my son, you're not my son, what has that [woman] done to you, you should have ended things months ago'. My husband told her if she was going to act like she was she could leave, she then started crying which resulted in my husband throwing her out.
32points
#2 She’s Mad That I Announced The Gender Of My Own Baby
MIL threw a fit that I individually contacted her side of the family to tell them we’re having a girl. Why did I do this? She announced my pregnancy to EVERYONE she could without my permission and even in front of my face so she could have the glory.
MIL also disproves of the name we chose strictly because it was a surprise to her just like it was everyone else lol. I digress. I also told our family friends because they are my family friends too. She was extra mad about that. She is mad that she could not be the deliverer of news because she has control issues and I am proud of how I handled it.
Bonus points, she is mad that no one asked her how she feels about the baby being a girl. Well, you didn’t ask me either MIL. (I’m thrilled btw) she is just turning a situation into something that has to revolve around her, like always.
As a result of her behavior, mil does not know my due date. She will not find out I’m in labor until I’ve been home with the baby for a few days. She is not coming to help. I have a doula and postpartum care. So no need to worry about her overstepping, I have learned how to keep her in her place.
MIL also disproves of the name we chose strictly because it was a surprise to her just like it was everyone else lol. I digress. I also told our family friends because they are my family friends too. She was extra mad about that. She is mad that she could not be the deliverer of news because she has control issues and I am proud of how I handled it.
Bonus points, she is mad that no one asked her how she feels about the baby being a girl. Well, you didn’t ask me either MIL. (I’m thrilled btw) she is just turning a situation into something that has to revolve around her, like always.
As a result of her behavior, mil does not know my due date. She will not find out I’m in labor until I’ve been home with the baby for a few days. She is not coming to help. I have a doula and postpartum care. So no need to worry about her overstepping, I have learned how to keep her in her place.
29points
#3 MIL Wanted To Know How Her Son Could Get Me Pregnant Since He Isn't 'Fertile'
Ever since my boyfriend and I announced to his family that I was 16 weeks along in my pregnancy, MIL has been completely dumbstruck at the announcement.
Soon she was telling family how she was surprised that her son has actually gotten someone pregnant. I really don't know her thought process behind it, I do have two kids from my previous marriage, and I know my boyfriend adores them, but us discussing having kids had never been brought up. So I'm guessing MIL may have come up with her own theories on that part.
I've almost been close to giving her the talk about how babies are made, but decided against, as I'm trying to be nice.
My SIL called me yesterday to tell me MIL thought I was lying because her son was now in his thirties and couldn't get anyone pregnant.
I told my boyfriend what his mom said and he tried convincing her that what she said wasn't true, but she doesn't believe. She wants to meet me today to discuss this baby, but the way she talked to me and said the word 'baby' makes me believe she still doesn't believe this baby exists, or just her tone of voice feels off to me. She has seen photos of the baby, and can obviously see I'm showing. But I can't tell if she heading towards being a JN or just not understanding.
Edit: I've decided not to go, I was still trying to be nice, even though I think I knew what was going to happen. My boyfriend is currently working but I've texted him to let him know that I no longer want to be in contact with his mom. He agreed, and told me he left her a message this morning telling her that her accusing me of cheating or anything else, will result in NC, she never replied my best guess she's ignored him.
Soon she was telling family how she was surprised that her son has actually gotten someone pregnant. I really don't know her thought process behind it, I do have two kids from my previous marriage, and I know my boyfriend adores them, but us discussing having kids had never been brought up. So I'm guessing MIL may have come up with her own theories on that part.
I've almost been close to giving her the talk about how babies are made, but decided against, as I'm trying to be nice.
My SIL called me yesterday to tell me MIL thought I was lying because her son was now in his thirties and couldn't get anyone pregnant.
I told my boyfriend what his mom said and he tried convincing her that what she said wasn't true, but she doesn't believe. She wants to meet me today to discuss this baby, but the way she talked to me and said the word 'baby' makes me believe she still doesn't believe this baby exists, or just her tone of voice feels off to me. She has seen photos of the baby, and can obviously see I'm showing. But I can't tell if she heading towards being a JN or just not understanding.
Edit: I've decided not to go, I was still trying to be nice, even though I think I knew what was going to happen. My boyfriend is currently working but I've texted him to let him know that I no longer want to be in contact with his mom. He agreed, and told me he left her a message this morning telling her that her accusing me of cheating or anything else, will result in NC, she never replied my best guess she's ignored him.
24points
#4 “I’m Not A Babysitter” *Hard Eye Roll*
When I was pregnant my husband and I lived with my in-laws. It’s wasn’t horrible. My MIL is just a helicopter.
And it was extra annoying when I was pregnant. One day her and my mom were chatting in the kitchen about my pregnancy and my MIL looks over at me and says “I’m not a babysitter.” I was hurt at the time but I knew she would eat her words.
Fast forward, baby is born and she’s over the moon. And it was like slow motion when I heard her lips flap “I’m going to quit my job to take care of the baby” -_- ...
I didn’t skip a beat and told her “you said you weren’t a babysitter, we already have that figured out.” She started backtracking saying “I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with him.” Our son is gonna be 4 soon and to this day she still hasn’t babysat for us. She calls and asks us take him to her & we do. But we never leave him alone. Just call me Petty Paige.
And it was extra annoying when I was pregnant. One day her and my mom were chatting in the kitchen about my pregnancy and my MIL looks over at me and says “I’m not a babysitter.” I was hurt at the time but I knew she would eat her words.
Fast forward, baby is born and she’s over the moon. And it was like slow motion when I heard her lips flap “I’m going to quit my job to take care of the baby” -_- ...
I didn’t skip a beat and told her “you said you weren’t a babysitter, we already have that figured out.” She started backtracking saying “I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with him.” Our son is gonna be 4 soon and to this day she still hasn’t babysat for us. She calls and asks us take him to her & we do. But we never leave him alone. Just call me Petty Paige.
23points
#5 MIL Calls Herself “Mama” And Taught My 2yo To Call Me By My First Name
My partner (30M) and I (29F) lived with my in laws for a year while we waited for our house to be built. We have a 2.5 year old daughter. While we lived with them there was a lot of interference in our parenting but I kept biting my tongue knowing I’d be out of there soon. It was tough but I was appreciative of the roof over our heads. My MIL overreacts a lot, is very anxious and is definitely someone we tip toe around. I could write an essay honestly.
One thing that really kept bothering me when we lived with them was how MIL would constantly refer to herself as my daughter’s mama. She would say things like “give that to Mama” (referring to herself) and then if I was close by, say “I mean nana! Oh it’s the same thing really.” It would be probably be 3 times a days every day.
My partner said it was just an easy mistake but eventually began to correct her whenever he heard it.
Now we live in our own home my daughter sees her one day a week. I work full time so she has a minder 4 days and then MIL one day a week. My daughter has never said my first name, but about 2 weeks ago she came back from MIL’s house calling me by my name.
She has continued to call me by my name and MIL keeps bringing it up whenever we’ve seen her, she thinks it’s brilliant and it’s like she’s trying to gauge my reaction every time. I told my daughter that it’s really great she’s learned my name but that it makes me so happy when she calls me mama.
I don’t want to let my daughter see it bothers me but it really does. More so because I feel there’s meddling behind why my MIL taught my daughter this. She hasn’t taught her my partner’s name and he’s still Dada. Does anyone have experience with this or any insight into why MIL refers to me by my first name when talking directly to my daughter? Am I insane for having a problem with it? Thanks for any help in advance.
One thing that really kept bothering me when we lived with them was how MIL would constantly refer to herself as my daughter’s mama. She would say things like “give that to Mama” (referring to herself) and then if I was close by, say “I mean nana! Oh it’s the same thing really.” It would be probably be 3 times a days every day.
My partner said it was just an easy mistake but eventually began to correct her whenever he heard it.
Now we live in our own home my daughter sees her one day a week. I work full time so she has a minder 4 days and then MIL one day a week. My daughter has never said my first name, but about 2 weeks ago she came back from MIL’s house calling me by my name.
She has continued to call me by my name and MIL keeps bringing it up whenever we’ve seen her, she thinks it’s brilliant and it’s like she’s trying to gauge my reaction every time. I told my daughter that it’s really great she’s learned my name but that it makes me so happy when she calls me mama.
I don’t want to let my daughter see it bothers me but it really does. More so because I feel there’s meddling behind why my MIL taught my daughter this. She hasn’t taught her my partner’s name and he’s still Dada. Does anyone have experience with this or any insight into why MIL refers to me by my first name when talking directly to my daughter? Am I insane for having a problem with it? Thanks for any help in advance.
21points
#6 MIL Completely Delegitimized Myself And Her Own Daughter On Mother’s Day
I’ve been a step mom since I married my husband last year, my SIL is 6 months pregnant. We went over to MIL’s after we ate lunch with my own parents. My husband said the prayer before we ate, and said “thank you for all the moms, step moms, and moms-to-be.” You know what his mom did? She interrupted the prayer and straight up said, “But I’m the only mom at this table.”
I spent the rest of the time there on the verge of tears. My SIL texted me hours after we left apologizing for her mom. I texted her back saying the same thing. I’m already used to people saying that kind of thing about me as a step mom, but I couldn’t imagine being pregnant and my own mother saying something like that. Worst first Mother’s Day ever.
I spent the rest of the time there on the verge of tears. My SIL texted me hours after we left apologizing for her mom. I texted her back saying the same thing. I’m already used to people saying that kind of thing about me as a step mom, but I couldn’t imagine being pregnant and my own mother saying something like that. Worst first Mother’s Day ever.
21points
#7 MIL Has Been Giving A Caffeine Drink To Our 2yo For Months
My MIL is terrible for sneaking food to my 2yo. She usually looks after her two days a week and we made this decision more for giving her access to her only grandchild rather than financial. We are in ongoing battles about her NOT feeding our 2yo stuff without our permission. She has been specifically told not to let her have the ‘Crystal Light’ drink she drinks because of what it contains.
JNMIL has been bringing a flask for 2yo to drink from for several months. We have been told it is just water and JNMIL told us brings it for 2yo so she doesn’t drink out of JNMIL’s flask. We trusted her. I trusted her because surely she could see why it would be bad for a 2 yo to have caffeine and aspartame.
While 2yo was being looked after by JNMIL she would not nap and we attributed this to JNMIL not liking to follow our rules and wanting time with her grandchild.
I am currently on maternity leave with my second baby and so MIL has only been visiting to ‘help’. I have noticed 2YO go straight for the flask and she drinks it more like when she gets a treat drink rather than straight water so I’ve been suspicious for a couple of weeks.
Well today I managed to get hold of the flask when MIL back was turned and it is crystal light. I am so upset. I am not super controlling over my child’s diet and she is allowed treats but caffeine and aspartame are definitely on the no list.
My husband is going to talk to MIL because I am so upset about this but I don’t know where to go from here. I feel this could have been so dangerous. I know there are far worse MILs on here but I feel like she has deliberately been putting my child in danger. I keep plenty of treat foods at home MIL can give my daughter so I just can’t understand why she would want to give her this stuff behind our backs.
JNMIL has been bringing a flask for 2yo to drink from for several months. We have been told it is just water and JNMIL told us brings it for 2yo so she doesn’t drink out of JNMIL’s flask. We trusted her. I trusted her because surely she could see why it would be bad for a 2 yo to have caffeine and aspartame.
While 2yo was being looked after by JNMIL she would not nap and we attributed this to JNMIL not liking to follow our rules and wanting time with her grandchild.
I am currently on maternity leave with my second baby and so MIL has only been visiting to ‘help’. I have noticed 2YO go straight for the flask and she drinks it more like when she gets a treat drink rather than straight water so I’ve been suspicious for a couple of weeks.
Well today I managed to get hold of the flask when MIL back was turned and it is crystal light. I am so upset. I am not super controlling over my child’s diet and she is allowed treats but caffeine and aspartame are definitely on the no list.
My husband is going to talk to MIL because I am so upset about this but I don’t know where to go from here. I feel this could have been so dangerous. I know there are far worse MILs on here but I feel like she has deliberately been putting my child in danger. I keep plenty of treat foods at home MIL can give my daughter so I just can’t understand why she would want to give her this stuff behind our backs.
19points
#8 Am I Being Annoying Or Is My Son's Grandmother's Request Inappropriate? She Wants My Breastfed 7 Month Old For A Week As Their First Meeting
Sorry for the long post. I'm in a weird situation. I got pregnant with an IUD during spring break 2020. I moved back in with my parents when school went online, my boyfriend stayed in his college apartment. I'm 20, he's 22, baby was born in December and has only seen his dad twice (for just over a week each time.) We're not really in a relationship at this point, but neither of us are seeing anyone else. It was just hard to deal with a long distance relationship, online school, and a new baby all at once. We'll probably start properly dating again when I move back in August but that's not really on my mind right now, just know there's no hard feelings between us.
Now that baby's dad's parents are vaccinated they're finally interested in meeting their grandson. Great, I told them that they could get an AirBnB within a 5 hour drive of my house and I'd love to bring the baby to meet them. Charleston and Savannah are in that range, so it's not like I was making them come to the middle of nowhere with nothing to do. I'm just not super comfortable traveling further than that with my infant.
His mother said absolutely not and told me her plan was for baby's dad to travel to me, pick up the baby and fly 1,100 miles to where they live, spend a week at their house and then for me to pay my own way to get up there and pick up my son. I said no for a few reasons: my son is breast fed and hates bottles, this would be his first flight and I'd want to be there (plus I don't really want him flying right now,) and his dad has never been alone with him, ever. When he visited, if I showered or something he would take the baby to the living room and my parents would be there. He has never had to soothe him, get him to sleep, or change him without me being there. It's not that I don't trust him, I just don't think it's a good idea.
I suggested waiting until August when I move back to our college city where I'd be happy to take my son to his dad's apartment or welcoming them to my apartment to meet him. I was clear that I wasn't comfortable being separated from my baby for that long.
Now grandma is upset. She thinks I'm purposely keeping my son from having a relationship with her. She thinks that bc she and her husband are in their 60s, and I'm only 20 that it's unfair to ask them to travel to my part of the country. But I even suggested waiting until I move back to school, which is only a 6 hour drive from their house.
I feel like I'm being annoying. My parents have gotten to have a relationship with my son more than his own father has, but that was because of COVID and not my personal choice. I'm thinking about having baby's dad spend a couple weeks with me to help me get comfortable with him taking care of our son and then going to his parents' house, but I really don't think it'll work because my son simply won't take a bottle. He'd rather starve. I pumped for weeks, and he wouldn't eat anything that wasn't from the source. I wasn't invited to their house in this plan, and they don't really have space, but that's also an option I guess.
I guess I just really need an unbiased view on if I'm being annoying and depriving my son's dad and his family a relationship due to my own fears, or if I make sense and am being reasonable in my suggestions for meeting him.
UPDATE: Thank you all so much for your advice! Baby's dad isn't even a little on board with his parents' plan, but agrees that they're probably just being cheap so he's going to pay for an AirBnB for a few weeks this summer, and offer for his parents to come for a few days during that time. The AirBnB is actually so he can get used to parenting with just us, without my parents as a cop out, and so he can help baby and I move back up to college city. I don't know if grandma will agree to come down, but baby's dad is aggravated enough that I don't think he's budging on his plan.
Best case scenario, baby's dad gets a month to figure out how to parent. Worst case scenario, grandma comes down and is annoying the whole time, but at least I'll be there to watch and take over.
Now that baby's dad's parents are vaccinated they're finally interested in meeting their grandson. Great, I told them that they could get an AirBnB within a 5 hour drive of my house and I'd love to bring the baby to meet them. Charleston and Savannah are in that range, so it's not like I was making them come to the middle of nowhere with nothing to do. I'm just not super comfortable traveling further than that with my infant.
His mother said absolutely not and told me her plan was for baby's dad to travel to me, pick up the baby and fly 1,100 miles to where they live, spend a week at their house and then for me to pay my own way to get up there and pick up my son. I said no for a few reasons: my son is breast fed and hates bottles, this would be his first flight and I'd want to be there (plus I don't really want him flying right now,) and his dad has never been alone with him, ever. When he visited, if I showered or something he would take the baby to the living room and my parents would be there. He has never had to soothe him, get him to sleep, or change him without me being there. It's not that I don't trust him, I just don't think it's a good idea.
I suggested waiting until August when I move back to our college city where I'd be happy to take my son to his dad's apartment or welcoming them to my apartment to meet him. I was clear that I wasn't comfortable being separated from my baby for that long.
Now grandma is upset. She thinks I'm purposely keeping my son from having a relationship with her. She thinks that bc she and her husband are in their 60s, and I'm only 20 that it's unfair to ask them to travel to my part of the country. But I even suggested waiting until I move back to school, which is only a 6 hour drive from their house.
I feel like I'm being annoying. My parents have gotten to have a relationship with my son more than his own father has, but that was because of COVID and not my personal choice. I'm thinking about having baby's dad spend a couple weeks with me to help me get comfortable with him taking care of our son and then going to his parents' house, but I really don't think it'll work because my son simply won't take a bottle. He'd rather starve. I pumped for weeks, and he wouldn't eat anything that wasn't from the source. I wasn't invited to their house in this plan, and they don't really have space, but that's also an option I guess.
I guess I just really need an unbiased view on if I'm being annoying and depriving my son's dad and his family a relationship due to my own fears, or if I make sense and am being reasonable in my suggestions for meeting him.
UPDATE: Thank you all so much for your advice! Baby's dad isn't even a little on board with his parents' plan, but agrees that they're probably just being cheap so he's going to pay for an AirBnB for a few weeks this summer, and offer for his parents to come for a few days during that time. The AirBnB is actually so he can get used to parenting with just us, without my parents as a cop out, and so he can help baby and I move back up to college city. I don't know if grandma will agree to come down, but baby's dad is aggravated enough that I don't think he's budging on his plan.
Best case scenario, baby's dad gets a month to figure out how to parent. Worst case scenario, grandma comes down and is annoying the whole time, but at least I'll be there to watch and take over.
18points
#9 Hiding At The Grocery Store
A bit of background: my MIL does not work and also waits on FIL hand and foot. DH and I both work at least 40 hours a week, usually more, so cleaning the house is a weekend project.
So today MIL come over to see their grandson and I decided to take advantage and get the cleaning done. DH, freely of his own accord, put the bottles and maybe 4 plates in the dishwasher and started it. Once I had cleaned about 90% of the house MIL decided to help and ask if she if I want her to take out the garbage. I was raised in a very “guest don’t do anything” manner so I told her it was ok, DH would get it when I was done cleaning. Oh boy. “Oh but he’s already done the dishes today too” leading into a 3 minute tangent about how he’s some sort of saintly husband to do the dishes for me.......Ok.
Then I asked DH if he would change his sons diaper. Lord forbid that he help take care of his child while I clean the house. “Oh no don’t you worry about it I’ll take care of it myself” apparently I ask too much of of my husband, who knew.
DH is really amazing though and could tell I was annoyed and asked if I needed to go to the grocery store so that I had an excuse to leave. Cue MIL looking offended that I would just leave my infant son home with his father for 30 minutes. I’m taking my sweet time at the store now.
So today MIL come over to see their grandson and I decided to take advantage and get the cleaning done. DH, freely of his own accord, put the bottles and maybe 4 plates in the dishwasher and started it. Once I had cleaned about 90% of the house MIL decided to help and ask if she if I want her to take out the garbage. I was raised in a very “guest don’t do anything” manner so I told her it was ok, DH would get it when I was done cleaning. Oh boy. “Oh but he’s already done the dishes today too” leading into a 3 minute tangent about how he’s some sort of saintly husband to do the dishes for me.......Ok.
Then I asked DH if he would change his sons diaper. Lord forbid that he help take care of his child while I clean the house. “Oh no don’t you worry about it I’ll take care of it myself” apparently I ask too much of of my husband, who knew.
DH is really amazing though and could tell I was annoyed and asked if I needed to go to the grocery store so that I had an excuse to leave. Cue MIL looking offended that I would just leave my infant son home with his father for 30 minutes. I’m taking my sweet time at the store now.
18points
#10 5 Days Postpartum...
And my MIL came up to "help" from out of state. Two days in, I have made every meal, cleaned every dish, she keeps waking up the baby from napping just so "gammy can see those beautiful eyes!". You're making a bigger mess of my house AND making my LO fussy. Go. Home.
Everytime the baby opens her mouth she declares that the baby is hungry, regardless of how long/often ago I fed her. No, shes a baby and also breathes just an FYI. She won't hold her if she isn't awake.
I just can't. My husband is losing his patience as well. Him and I hid in the bathroom from her for a good 30mins yesterday with the LO. God help us. Rant over.
Update: It took my DH one look at my sleep deprived [self] in an adult diaper struggle to get out of bed for the 1,000 time to get pissed off enough and say something to her. He is currently down stairs playing drill sergeant...let's see if this sticks. Hope's for a better day, that or a MIL-less tomorrow.
Everytime the baby opens her mouth she declares that the baby is hungry, regardless of how long/often ago I fed her. No, shes a baby and also breathes just an FYI. She won't hold her if she isn't awake.
I just can't. My husband is losing his patience as well. Him and I hid in the bathroom from her for a good 30mins yesterday with the LO. God help us. Rant over.
Update: It took my DH one look at my sleep deprived [self] in an adult diaper struggle to get out of bed for the 1,000 time to get pissed off enough and say something to her. He is currently down stairs playing drill sergeant...let's see if this sticks. Hope's for a better day, that or a MIL-less tomorrow.
17points
#11 4 Days Postpartum And MIL Sent A Link For “Should New Moms Thank Mother-In-Law?”
Just had a gorgeous baby this week. My mom has been a champ, cooking cleaning and more.
My MiL has visited 2-3 times, looked at the baby, and left after 15 min. One visit was accompanied by snide comments about my tummy still being big. Oh she did loan me a hot water jug for formula.
Today she sent an AI slop video that listed “10 ways new moms can express gratitude to their mother in law”. The pro tips included how to saying thank you, and being specific about what we’re grateful for.
16points
#12 I Don’t Believe Everything I Hear
My MIL is a gossip. She pretends to tell facts but lets you know all the bad things she suspects.
I didn’t realize how much she did it to everyone and especially about me. For example, she’ll ask me to stay for a cup of tea after ritually ignoring me for three days. She does it on the day we are leaving, when the car and baby are packed and we have to leave or drive in the dark. Then, can you believe OP wouldn’t even drink a cup of tea with me...”
I’ve started saying to people we know in common, “I notice you’ve been really quiet around me. I want you to know that I really don’t believe what MIL says about you. She’s who she is, but she says so many negative things about everyone and I don’t believe them.”
It’s awesome to see the sort of shocked, surprised, then knowing look on their face. And suddenly they get a bit nicer...
I didn’t realize how much she did it to everyone and especially about me. For example, she’ll ask me to stay for a cup of tea after ritually ignoring me for three days. She does it on the day we are leaving, when the car and baby are packed and we have to leave or drive in the dark. Then, can you believe OP wouldn’t even drink a cup of tea with me...”
I’ve started saying to people we know in common, “I notice you’ve been really quiet around me. I want you to know that I really don’t believe what MIL says about you. She’s who she is, but she says so many negative things about everyone and I don’t believe them.”
It’s awesome to see the sort of shocked, surprised, then knowing look on their face. And suddenly they get a bit nicer...
16points
#13 I Finally Realized MIL Likes To Get A Reaction
MIL has this thing where, when she holds our baby, she’s say “Ok, bye, we’re leaving now” and waves to me like she’s going off with my baby. Or she’ll say “Aww I just want to take him home.” She’s done this same game with our last two kids. It’s old.
In the past, I would get visibly irritated, my momma bear anxiety would go into overdrive and I would keep asking for my baby back while she played this cat and mouse game of smiling and turning her back to me while I reached for my baby and she stepped further away.
While it still does aggravate me to no end, I’ve decided recently to intentionally ignore when I feel she’s doing things to purposely get a negative reaction from me.
So today, we were at my kids awards ceremony. We are all standing around talking, me and hubby are thanking our families who showed up and she is holding our 4 month old. MIL starts with the "Aww I just want to take him home with me."
I heard it and turned my back to her and started fumbling around in the diaper bag, pretending to not hear her. She stepped closer to me and said louder, “I’m just going to take him home with me.” I kept fumbling around in the diaper bag. She then steps closer and repeats it TWO more times until I just walk away and strike up a conversation with my cousin. I realized then that she was INTENTIONALLY trying to get under my skin by getting a reaction out of me and I’m so glad that I didn’t let it happen!
When the ceremony was over, it was raining to FIL offered to go get our car so we didn’t have to take the baby out in the rain. When he drove back around with my car, and opened the door for me to put the baby in his car seat—my MIL smirks, takes a step back and says “Nooooooo, tell mommy bye bye we’re leaving now.” Then shoos my hand away and turns my baby around. I said “It’s raining hard, thank you for coming” and I grabbed my baby while she just stood there looking at me. I’m really proud of myself today for winning this stupid game she likes to play!
In the past, I would get visibly irritated, my momma bear anxiety would go into overdrive and I would keep asking for my baby back while she played this cat and mouse game of smiling and turning her back to me while I reached for my baby and she stepped further away.
While it still does aggravate me to no end, I’ve decided recently to intentionally ignore when I feel she’s doing things to purposely get a negative reaction from me.
So today, we were at my kids awards ceremony. We are all standing around talking, me and hubby are thanking our families who showed up and she is holding our 4 month old. MIL starts with the "Aww I just want to take him home with me."
I heard it and turned my back to her and started fumbling around in the diaper bag, pretending to not hear her. She stepped closer to me and said louder, “I’m just going to take him home with me.” I kept fumbling around in the diaper bag. She then steps closer and repeats it TWO more times until I just walk away and strike up a conversation with my cousin. I realized then that she was INTENTIONALLY trying to get under my skin by getting a reaction out of me and I’m so glad that I didn’t let it happen!
When the ceremony was over, it was raining to FIL offered to go get our car so we didn’t have to take the baby out in the rain. When he drove back around with my car, and opened the door for me to put the baby in his car seat—my MIL smirks, takes a step back and says “Nooooooo, tell mommy bye bye we’re leaving now.” Then shoos my hand away and turns my baby around. I said “It’s raining hard, thank you for coming” and I grabbed my baby while she just stood there looking at me. I’m really proud of myself today for winning this stupid game she likes to play!
15points
#14 There’s Nothing Wrong With My Baby!
MIL is 78 and lives with us. Unfortunately due to circumstances as they are we cannot kick her out and I can’t move out so I’m stuck in this situation for the time being.
Now on to the issue at hand. My son is 4 months old and so far has been a very easy baby who rarely cries. He’ll fuss a little and make unhappy noises but not very often do tears come.
Any time he makes a whimper or a grizzle or even strain to poo my mother in law hovers over him ( and me as he’s usually with me) and says repeatedly ‘there’s something wrong with him, he’s definitely in pain, maybe you should go to the hospital’ I’ll say ‘ no he’s just hungry/tired/bored’ and she just keeps repeating ‘there’s something wrong with him’ over and over again.
So today after the 5th time in under a minute I just grabbed my son and walked away. We’re currently in my bedroom and guess what!? He’s asleep. I said he was tired, there’s nothing wrong with him!
15points
#15 MIL Cried Because She Wasn't The First One To Find Out I Was Pregnant
To me announcing to family should be a happy time. Even though me and my husband never actually planned for a third child this was even a happy surprise for us. MIL through broke down when she heard the news, everyone thought she was being overly dramatic with exciting tears at first, but the way she was blubbering on, soon turned into an issue because she was crying because she didn't find out because of everyone else.
Then she turned around and turned this all on me, being cranky and hormonal, I asked her why she had to be the first to know. My husband tried to cut me off before I could finish but what I didn't know was the crazy reaction se would have the moment I said that.
Let me just say it was like watching a Toddler throwing a fit. We left while she was still carrying on. We haven't heard from her since, given that she only has tried contacting me and I already know it's not a friendly conversation.
Then she turned around and turned this all on me, being cranky and hormonal, I asked her why she had to be the first to know. My husband tried to cut me off before I could finish but what I didn't know was the crazy reaction se would have the moment I said that.
Let me just say it was like watching a Toddler throwing a fit. We left while she was still carrying on. We haven't heard from her since, given that she only has tried contacting me and I already know it's not a friendly conversation.
14points
#16 MIL Keeps Telling Me Not Curl My Daughters Hair Because She's 4. She Doesn't Believe It's Naturally Curly
I don't know why she does it. She says she knows what natural curly hair looks like, She has curly hair, Her sister and parents have curly hair.
I husband has his dad's straight hair while my hair has always been slightly curly. Our daughters hair is curly but not as curly as MIL's.
Our daughters hair has definitely gotten more curly as she's gotten older. For the past year MIL will look at her hair then tell me off for curling it. Untrue of course. I've been told to stop curling her hair as it makes her look older.
Last night MIL sent me a photo of me and my daughter out at the park and told me again to stop curling her hair because she looks older.
Don't know why she doesn't get the point that it's natural even when it obvious.
14points
#17 I Will Not Apologize For How I Look In My Own Home
This only happened today but it still annoys me how she acted.
My SO took our girls to his brother's house this morning while I rested at home with a headache. Early afternoon I was feeling a bit better and decided to get some cleaning done before my SO and our girls got home. I stayed in my Pj's and didn't bother to change. At one point I am halfway down the stairs when the doorbell rang. The door is glass and see-through and the moment I came down the stairs MIL saw me. She looked disgusted. I opened the door and asked what she wanted. She wanted to see SO and the girls but left when they weren't home and I was cleaning.
When my SO got home he told me MIL had texted him to complain about me being in my Pj's when she arrived and she wanted an apology. My husband did tell her I was in our home and could wear whatever. He also asked why she showed up, He never got a reply.
For clarification I wasn't wearing anything revealing. It a was a tshirt and shorts with a pattern on them, In all honesty I'd wear them out because it just just looks like a casual tshirt and shorts. MIL knows they are Pj's she has seen me wear them on a vacation 2 years ago.
My SO took our girls to his brother's house this morning while I rested at home with a headache. Early afternoon I was feeling a bit better and decided to get some cleaning done before my SO and our girls got home. I stayed in my Pj's and didn't bother to change. At one point I am halfway down the stairs when the doorbell rang. The door is glass and see-through and the moment I came down the stairs MIL saw me. She looked disgusted. I opened the door and asked what she wanted. She wanted to see SO and the girls but left when they weren't home and I was cleaning.
When my SO got home he told me MIL had texted him to complain about me being in my Pj's when she arrived and she wanted an apology. My husband did tell her I was in our home and could wear whatever. He also asked why she showed up, He never got a reply.
For clarification I wasn't wearing anything revealing. It a was a tshirt and shorts with a pattern on them, In all honesty I'd wear them out because it just just looks like a casual tshirt and shorts. MIL knows they are Pj's she has seen me wear them on a vacation 2 years ago.
14points
#18 MIL Doesn't Tell People I Exist
MIL was having a cookie party on Sunday. I told her I couldn't go because it was my sister's birthday. Sister's birthday is going slow, very lax at home, so I show up to see my husband for a bit. I walk in and I see the expression of pure shock on MIL's face. I meet an old family friend of hers and get introduced as Son's Wife. "What! I didn't know he got married!"
We've been married for almost two years. During the whole time family friend was there they catch up about second son's wife, they talked about the 2 grandkids, one of which is younger than my marriage, but no me. Well I'm here to stay.
We've been married for almost two years. During the whole time family friend was there they catch up about second son's wife, they talked about the 2 grandkids, one of which is younger than my marriage, but no me. Well I'm here to stay.
13points
#19 MIL Asked Husband About Baby And Then Forwarded The Response To Their Entire Family GC
MIL asked my husband how my induction is going. Haven’t told many people getting induced (her, FIL, BIL, my parents and sister and that’s it) because people always want to know WHY you’re getting induced, and as far as I’m concerned that is my medical info and not up for discussion.
Husband responded with an update to her, and she forwarded it immediately to the entire group chat with cousins, great uncles, grandparents, aunties etc. I was fuming! None of them were told. For a reason.
I told husband no more updates for her, if she asks, we reply with ‘all ok, we will update with any further news when we can’ and she can just find out when the baby is born. Maybe I’m being over emotional but I am one fed up 40 + week momma to be stuck on a hot hospital ward.
Husband responded with an update to her, and she forwarded it immediately to the entire group chat with cousins, great uncles, grandparents, aunties etc. I was fuming! None of them were told. For a reason.
I told husband no more updates for her, if she asks, we reply with ‘all ok, we will update with any further news when we can’ and she can just find out when the baby is born. Maybe I’m being over emotional but I am one fed up 40 + week momma to be stuck on a hot hospital ward.
12points
#20 MIL undermining me and got put in her place by hubby
My mil texted saying she was going out of town saturday(it’s currently Thursday) and wanted to see us before they leave. My husband works till 8 and the babies bedtime is at 8:30. I told her he was not off Friday and wouldn’t be home till late so I wasn’t sure we could make that work but we’d let her know for sure. Which was my polite way of saying no.
This was at 8:30 this morning and at 6pm the hubby texted me saying she had texted him about doing dinner tomorrow(Friday) before they leave for out of town. I told him I had already spoke to her and let her know that we weren’t sure but it was probably a no since he was working and it’s was gonna be late for the baby….
He was so upset she had tried to undermine me by asking him after already speaking with me. So he texted her to ask why she did that and she never responded. WIN FOR THE WIFEY!!! Mother in laws dirty ways got called out today!!!
This was at 8:30 this morning and at 6pm the hubby texted me saying she had texted him about doing dinner tomorrow(Friday) before they leave for out of town. I told him I had already spoke to her and let her know that we weren’t sure but it was probably a no since he was working and it’s was gonna be late for the baby….
He was so upset she had tried to undermine me by asking him after already speaking with me. So he texted her to ask why she did that and she never responded. WIN FOR THE WIFEY!!! Mother in laws dirty ways got called out today!!!
12points