It's been said that we're only as sick as our secrets. It's a common phrase used by those in recovery but it goes further than dealing with addiction. "It basically means that a secret kept in the dark grows and becomes more harmful, but once it is exposed to light or released, its power is lost," explains Recovery.com.
Research has found that keeping secrets can be harmful, both to your mental and physical health. The skeletons in your closet can boost stress hormones, impact blood pressure, inhibit sleep, contribute to mental health and substance use disorders and even cause you chronic pain.
Keeping secrets can be incredibly stressful. "Chronic stress, particularly stress that is unaddressed, can weaken the immune system, making the body more susceptible to illnesses such as infections and inflammatory conditions," warns the New York Mental Health Center.
It further adds that the physiological stress response triggered by secret-keeping can lead to elevated cortisol levels, increased heart rate, and even higher blood pressure over time. "These changes in bodily functions can increase the risk of developing heart disease, gastrointestinal problems, and other chronic conditions," notes the site.
Getting something off your chest after keeping it in the dark can feel like a physical relief. "Being open and honest with ourselves allows us to forgive and become okay with who we are, and that can facilitate us cleaning up the wreckage of the past," explains Recovery.com.
But sharing our deepest secrets can also help us connect with others, whether it's through forgiveness or simply realizing that everyone makes mistakes. "Secrets can lead to increased feelings of guilt and shame, which in turn, hinder authentic connections with others," say the experts at the New York Mental Health Center.
They add that secrets can also lead to cognitive dissonance in relationships, where individuals find it difficult to fully engage or be present because they are distracted by their hidden knowledge.
While not all of your secrets need to be revealed to another person, it is important to find an outlet to avoid some of the negative consequences to your health and well-being.
You could do this through journaling, therapy, confiding in a friend, going to confession at church (if that's your thing), or even submitting your confession to an online account like My Confession Is.
Catholics are required to confess their mortal, or grave, sins to a priest at least once a year. For a sin to be considered mortal, it should meet three conditions: grave matter, full knowledge that the act is wrong, and deliberate and complete consent to do it.
Confessing lesser (venial) sins is not a must in the Catholic Church, but it is highly encouraged.
"One goes to Confession privately behind a screen or face-to-face with the priest," explains the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament's site. "Preparation for the Sacrament of Penance consists of a good examination of conscience. This examination, guided by the Ten Commandments, prepares one to confess sins to the priest. Confession presumes the penitent is truly sorry with a firm resolve not to sin again."
The person confessing will follow a certain script and then list their confessions. They'll also state when their last confession took place.
"The priest will assign you a penance," reveals the cathedral's site. "The penance takes into account your personal situation and supports your spiritual good. It may be a prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service, or sacrifice."
Interestingly, more and more Catholics are shying away from confession, and the church is looking for a revival. One poll found that the most common barrier is the belief that forgiveness can be sought directly from God without confession.
"Discomfort is also a factor; among those who haven’t been to confession in over a year, 50% report embarrassment about their sins, while 53% find the sacrament generally awkward," reported the Catholic Review.
There's another issue that many people, including non-Catholics, have with the idea of confession in general: the fact that priests are sworn to secrecy, even if someone admits to a crime...
