Engineers Have A Great Sense Of Humor As Seen In These 50 Jokes

Three engineers were riding in a car, went down a hill, and crashed. The mechanical engineer said, "It must be the brakes. Let me check 'em out." The electrical engineer said, "I think it was something in the electrical system. Let me check it out." The software engineer said, "Let's push it back up the hill and run it again."

"A programmer’s wife asks him, 'Would you go to the shop and pick up a loaf of bread? And if they have eggs, get a dozen.' The programmer goes to the store and returns home with 12 loaves of bread. 'They had eggs,' he explained."

Engineers like to solve problems but... If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.

So relatable.

The optimist says: “The glass is half full.” The pessimist says: “The glass is half empty.” The engineer says: “The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.”

An engineer, a physicist and a statistician are attempting to hit a target 400 feet away with a cannon. They physicist says, "This is easy!". He does the calculations and fires but falls 100 feet short. The engineer tells him he forgot to factor in imperfections and error. He calculates, and overshoots by 100 feet. The statistician then declares, "We hit it!"

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. That’s a hardware issue.

Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

Three engineering students were gathered together to discuss the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do? Tell them it’s “impossible.”

Engineer No. 1: “I bet you can’t name two structures that can hold water.” Engineer No. 2: “Well, dam.”

"When I wrote this code, only me and God knew how it works. Now only God knows..."

An old engineer retires. A year or so later, the firm calls him up. They are having a technical issue with a machine he designed. No one else in the company can figure out what's wrong and they want him to help. He aggrees and comes in. He walks up to the machine, opens a panel, and stares into the workings. After a while, he pulls a piece of chalk out of his pocket and scribes an "X" on one particular component. He says, "There's your problem." and leaves. Sure enough, the firm replaces that part and everything is working fine. A few days later, the firm receives a bill from the retired engineer for $100,000. They call him, asking why the bill is so outrageous. He replies, itemizing the bill, "It's $1 for chalk and $99,999 for knowing where to put it."

There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

What is the definition of an engineer? Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

How do you drive an engineer insane? Make them watch as you fold up a road map the wrong way.

You know I hate engineer students sometimes. For example, I hate it when engineer students call themselves engineers like you don’t hear med students calling themselves doctors or art students calling themselves unemployed.

Conventional wisdom: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Mechanical Engineer: If it ain’t broke, consider adding more features.

The engineer installed a motor too powerful in the moving stairway. It escalated very quickly.

What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets.