69 People Reveal The Exact Moment They Learned They Didn’t Belong In Their Friend Group

I had moved to a large city, other friends from my hometown were already living there. I joined some meet up groups here on Reddit focusing on hiking, group members were coordinating a weekend hike, there was probably 10 people signing on to join. The trailhead to the hiking spot is always pack with vehicles so when I sign on to attend, I offered people to meet up at my apartment complex and we carpool, many agreed.

As the day of the hike approached, many people started dropping like flies,. The day of, there was only one other person who stated they were on their way, no one else responded. When this person knocked on my apartment, I opened the door to what was a very young girl, she drove there obviously but she looked no more than 16, I was in my mid/upper 20’s myself. I told her that no one else would be joining us and if she wanted to proceed with the hike, she agreed. I was a technology instructor for the blind and visually impaired at that time so I treated her as if she was one of my students, pure respect. She was very talkative and I gave her very generic responses, no asking deeper questions, just keeping it as amicable as possible.

Anywho, we do the hike, get her back to her car and send her on her way, end of that story. Later that evening, two of my ‘friends’ came over and they asked me about my day and I told them about the hike and this young girl, their responses to that took me aback. One said I should of invited her in, maybe she was looking for some action, the other one agreed and said something along the lines of, I should have gone to the bathroom, came out [undressed] and swung my [thing] around. That friend did a sumo squat, swung his arm between his leg mimicking what he just said and it was at that moment that I knew our friendship was over, no way would I be associated with that kind of language or behavior, haven't spoken to or seen them since.

My friend celebrated his birthday on his family’s yacht**.** There were only five of us, but one guy invited a bunch of girls who were clearly only there for the "lifestyle."

While everyone was busy trying to look rich for social media, I sat at the back with a beer, looking at the shore. We were passing by some very humble, low-income neighborhoods. Seeing that massive gap—the mindless spending on the boat vs. the reality of the people living right there—something just "clicked."

I realized I didn’t want to be the guy on the yacht. I wanted to be at home, eating a cheap pizza with people I actually care about, talking about life or playing a board game. I distanced myself from that group shortly after. Best decision ever.

Not necessarily a friend group, but an amateur choir. One member started a podcast where he spewed racist, right-wing [nonsense] but the other members voted to not kick him out.

Had a group of friends back in college who were really chill people. They were the popular kids and everyone wanted to be their friend.

Luckily, I got in and became a part of their group. Few months go by and I’ve become a bit close to everyone, but something’s not right.

I don’t drink nor smoke, they do. But that’s fine, right? Apparently it wasn’t. They started gaslighting me and telling me that only a “man” drinks and smokes. Started drinking and smoking due to them.

One night when we were out and coming back from a club, there was this old homeless man we passed by on the street. He looked really in need and begged us for at least a dollar. I didn’t pay attention but I think he tugged at the “leader” of the group’s jacket. Big mistake. He starts fuming talking about the brand and price of the jacket and convinces the others to make him pay. They all the beat the homeless man and cripple him.

That sight ruined me and still haunts me, safe to say I cleaned my hands, became sober and was never a part of that group again.

One of the conference presenters got sloppy drunk and started ranting about how it's perfectly normal to want to [sleep with] teenagers. (Years later, one of his coauthors was literally in the Epstein files.)

When my dad [passed away], nobody reached out or called to check how I was doing

Spent many years thinking we were all brothers.

They started having a conversation in front of me about how excited they all were for the upcoming beach trip. I hadn’t been invited.

They wanted to do a “prank” where they threw rocks over the highway overpass.

Was hiking with 5 friends and all of them wanted to jump a fence into a protected snake breeding area to find snakes. I was the only one who refused.

Church friends ghosted me when my depression didn't just vanish.

When the pattern becomes obvious: people get picked apart the moment they’re not in the room, and there’s barely any genuine support. That’s usually the sign. It was equivalent to mean girls, only these are women who are in their 40s and 50s. I’m the only one who left the group because of this, and in the two years since I’ve never looked back.

Decided to stop being the one to instigate hanging out, to see if anyone would invite me to anything. Literally haven't talked to anyone in that group since, about 15 years going.

So, it was when i realised that we are only friends because we are hating on the same person. Then they start to hate me, cause i chose to not hate anyone anymore. Actually, i defend the new victim of their hatred… they don't talk to me anymore.

When they would use your presence as the joke within the group, someone to make fun of and laugh at collectively.

Stupid me. I was wondering why I always felt upset and hated myself each time I went home after hanging out with them, why couldn't I be better and not a joke of a person.

Nah. Just wrong friend group.

I quit drinking in September 2024. My family and friends supported my decision. I knew I would have to avoid a certain friend group (very much drink-related activities). I did tell one friend from that group. She complained about my not drinking for almost eleven months.

In December we were to have lunch at a local cafe. She wanted two sweet things on the limited menu (four things to choose from), and knew it would be too much, so she wanted us to share. I don't care for sweets, so I declined. She exploded, losing her temper and raising her voice. I honestly think she was angry that she could no longer drink lunch with me (we often overdid it).

They started “doing their own research” and lost their minds.

My friends all married and had kids and I didn't. Suddenly everything was about husbands and babies and nobody wanted me around if I couldn't join in.

I was everyone's computer tech guy, house moving guy, money lending guy, grass 'lending' guy, food shouting guy.

My Dad pointed out that I sure have a lot of children to support.

That was what I needed to hear.

Been happily doing my own thing ever since.

I was hanging out drinking with some friends in my early 20s and one of them, laughing, was like, “oh man, there are more DUIs than people in this room!” And I didn’t have a DUI ever. Realized real quick I needed to be hanging out with different people.

Way back in high school, the first “friends” I met wanted to go to the mall to look for unlocked cars to break into on one of our first hang outs.

I came from a background where that would never had been on my radar.