Parenting has always caused and will cause a lot of controversy and discussion - from how to properly fasten a diaper, to whether adult children should even take care of their parents if they paid little attention to them in childhood.
The issue of parenthood is especially painful if the parents are divorced, and if the new family has children from the next marriage, the situation becomes even more confusing. For example, when it comes to family finances, if the spouses run a divided household.
A similar situation has developed in the family of the author of this post in the AITA Reddit community, user u/Life_Grade_4261. The post we're talking about now got around 12.2K upvotes and nearly 5.4K different comments in just a few days. The opinions of the commenters were divided, like the finances of the spouses, but most still condemn the man. However, let's talk about everything in detail.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has two kids with his current wife and three children from his first marriage
Image credits: Chris Price (not the actual image)
So, the author of the post has three children from his first marriage to "Hannah" and two from his second wife, "Stacey". By the Original Poster's own admission, when he and Stacey tied the knot, the woman specifically stipulated that Hannah's children were solely the responsibility of their parents. For almost five years of marriage, this did not cause any problems to the OP, but the time came, and then the problems arose...
Image credits: u/Life_Grade_4261
The man pays his ex-wife child support and has split finances with his new spouse
According to the man, he pays Hannah child support for each of their children, and when Stacy was pregnant with their first baby, she demanded that he pay her a similar amount to make it fair. The man reveals that he also pays half of his and Stacey's joint expenses (mortgage, utilities, food, etc.) as well as for his own car, while his wife takes care of most of the expenses for their two kids.
Image credits: u/Life_Grade_4261
The OP admits that it is not a problem for Stacey to take care of his kids from his first marriage - for example, she willingly picks them up from school, takes them to various activities, and ensures they have everything they need. However, on the financial side, the woman regularly sends her husband requests to Venmo, demanding that he pay the costs of children who are "not hers".
Image credits: u/Life_Grade_4261
The wife covers her kids' needs and the husband usually pays for his children from the first marriage
For example, when the extended family recently went on a family vacation, Stacey demanded that her husband pay half the expenses for their children, and pay in full for Hannah's children. The man admits that his wife earns more than him, so this alignment hit his finances hard, but Stacy once again emphasized that his children are his own responsibility.
Image credits: Blondinrikard Froberg (not the actual image)
And more recently, Stacy began to save money for a college fund for her children. Hannah, learning about this, suggested that her ex-husband start collecting money for their kids too. When the man told Stacey about this, she approved of the idea, but noted that then the OP should have contributed the same amount to the college fund of their two children.
Image credits: u/Life_Grade_4261
When the man faced the need to contribute to a college fund for his 5 children, he felt rather uncomfortable
Needless to say, when the man calculated all his upcoming expenses, he became heavily discouraged, and then suggested that Stacy pay for a "fair share" of his household expenses. The OP explained this by saying that his current wife makes more money than him, so for her it will not be a financial difficulty, while he will be almost on the verge of bankruptcy paying for literally everything that lies ahead of him.
Image credits: u/Life_Grade_4261
The man asked his current wife to share his household expenses since she earns more than him, but the woman went ballistic at him
Stacy, however, took her husband's idea extremely negatively. She literally blew up, took the children and left with them to her parents' house. The OP admits that his wife has been refusing to talk to him for a day and a half, and now he wondered whether he did the right thing, and was it even worth it to come up with this particular idea?
Image credits: Monichrome (not the actual image)
Most people in the comments shared the woman's indignation at the hubby's idea
We must say that many commenters at first were generally confused by the family and financial relations of the Original Poster, not understanding who pays for what and whose parents are whose. However, most of the people in the comments supported Stacy's indignation at her husband's offer.
According to commenters, the wife pays half the expenses for the house, takes care of all the needs for her two children, and also takes care of three kids who are not her own. Yes, it's the OP who pays for their needs, but picking up the kids from school, taking them to activities, and shopping for them all takes a lot of time and energy. Therefore, as people believe, the OP is fundamentally wrong, and in any case, he is completely responsible for all the children who were born from him.
However, there are situations in which even the Original Poster looks like a completely decent person. For example, this dad once took his new family to Paris, and not only didn't invite his teenage daughter from the first marriage, but kept the trip a secret from her. Be that as it may, we are already looking forward to your comments on the story we have just described.