If you remember, the story (and the movie as well) The Hobbit begins when a whole company of dwarves led by the wizard Gandalf makes a complete mess in the ideally comfortable house of Bilbo Baggins, and I always, reading or viewing this scene, sympathized with the hobbit from the bottom of my heart and understood the whole gamut of emotions that possessed him at that moment.
Well, for Mr. Baggins, everything ended relatively well, but the hero of today's story, the user u/Cactus_Bob_99, once faced a difficult dilemma. On one side was the comfort of home and favorite plants in his house, and on the other - his own relatives, in this particular case - his mom and, especially, his aunt.
The author of the post lives with his partner and one day he had to house his own mom and aunt
Image credits: Julia Filirovska (not the actual photo)
The ladies got kicked out of their last flat so they needed time to find a new accommodation
Image credits: u/Cactus_Bob_99
From the very first step, both women started imposing their own rules in the house, thus causing lots of troubles for the hosts
Image credits: Dominika Roseclay (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Cactus_Bob_99
The author's aunt likes doing something she considers "gardening" so she started to touch his plants, which he forbade her to do
Image credits: Eco Warrior Princess (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Cactus_Bob_99
The last straw was when the woman tossed out the couple's beautiful blooming magnolia tree, simply calling it 'a weed', so the host made her pay for a new one
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that he is forty years old and lives with his partner. However, recently, the original poster's mom and aunt got kicked out from their last home, so while the women are looking for a new accommodation, the OP had to take them in. The author honestly admits that both his brother and uncle turned down the doubtful prospect of sharing a roof with these decent ladies for a while, so the OP was their last hope... well, or he simply did not find the courage to refuse.
But only a few days have passed, and the partners have already repeatedly regretted this indecision. Both women, and most of all his aunt, literally from the doorstep began to impose their own rules in the house, tossing out, for example, a set of wonderful sushi knives. And besides, the partners had to remove the prints by Tom of Finland from the walls - apparently, the ladies found them "too provocative"...
And then came the turn of the plants. As the original poster says, his aunt loves gardening - however, she puts her own, very non-standard, meaning into this word. According to the lady, "gardening" is cutting plants literally to the root so that they can "regrow and be healthier." At some point, the OP's patience was exhausted, and he directly told his aunt not to touch their plants at all!
Literally the next day, their beautiful blooming magnolia fell victim to the hapless "gardener" - a six-foot, blooming tree, lovingly surrounded by rocks. The OP's aunt simply uprooted it and threw it in the trash bin, authoritatively saying "it was a weed." Well, that was the last straw - the author of the post first disarmed the aggressor, taking away and hiding her garden tools, and then issued an ultimatum - she pays for the purchase of a new magnolia tree, and if she touches another plant, then both guests will find themselves on the street the same day.
The original poster concludes his story by saying that at the time of writing, he and his partner are bringing home a new magnolia tree, but the OP's mom is incredibly upset and feels offended, not to mention his aunt, who considers her nephew overly rude and entitled.
Image credits: Alfo Medeiros (not the actual photo)
Well, in any case, such behavior from guests, whether they are of any degree of kinship or friendship with the owners of the house, is completely unacceptable. Perhaps one of the problems is that the original poster and his partner did not set some boundaries for their guests beforehand. "The more power annoying guests have over you, the less in control you feel," writes Mavis Butterfield, the author of One Hundred Dollars A Month blog, in her dedicated article. The same post also contains a recommendation to let guests take an active part in hosts' life.
"This one is a tough one for me. I like my kitchen to be just so, etc., but sometimes guests LOVE the opportunity to help out in your daily life – even if they really are getting a little more in the way than anything. Let the MIL make her boy's favorite casserole one night. Ask Uncle Arty to help out by getting the folding chairs out – or whatever. It gives everyone a little something to do and makes guests seem like a little less of a nuisance," the blog author presumes. Perhaps, under the hosts' guidance, the violent activity of the guests would have been, let's say, less destructive, who knows?
But now it does not matter so much anymore, because the OP's aunt has managed to cause a lot of trouble for the hosts. And now people in the comments are simply amazed at the incredible patience of the author and his partner. "You guys should qualify for sainthood putting up with all of this. Dunno why older relatives have this untouchable attitude about them," one of the commenters wrote. Be that as it may, almost all the folks in the comments to the original post heavily support the author, and are pretty sure that he absolutely did the right thing here.
However, older relatives tend to impose their own order only in someone else's house, but as for their own place, the unwritten law "my house - my rules!" is immediately mentioned. As it happened, for example, with the father-in-law of the heroine of this post of ours, who literally forbade her from breastfeeding her baby anywhere except their guest bedroom when she came to visit the in-laws. Double standards, ain't it? Anyway, we're now looking forward to your comments on this tale and maybe please share your own stories in case you've ever faced something similar in your own life.
People in the comments are amazed by the hosts' patience, stating they should perhaps qualify for sainthood for putting up with all of this
