We all know kids are like little sponges. They absorb everything, from repeating that one embarrassing word you said once in traffic, to copying your favorite dance moves, to mimicking your weird late-night snacking habits. It can be cute until it isn’t. Especially when what they’re soaking up is harmful.
That’s exactly the heartbreaking situation today's Original Poster (OP) found himself in. He turned to the internet with a gut-wrenching dilemma after his young daughter was starting to pick up dangerous eating habits from his ex-girlfriend, who struggles with anorexia. And as much as he wants to support his ex, he’s faced with the question every parent dreads.
More info: Reddit
Kids soaking up everything they see and hear is adorable most of the time, until it's not
Image credits: somemeans / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author explained that his daughter’s mother was not in the picture, but his ex had been helping raise the child since she was a baby
Image credits: WorthBad7
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The ex, loving and responsible, developed anorexia, which has worsened despite therapy and inpatient treatment
Image credits: WorthBad7
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, he noticed his daughter started mimicking the ex's comments about food, refusing bread and saying she wanted to be "pretty and skinny" like the ex
Image credits: WorthBad7
This left him shocked, and when he confronted the ex, she apologized but blamed "hard days" and broke down in tears
The OP has been raising his daughter alone since her birth mother left the picture. His ex, however, stepped in when the little girl was just three months old, quickly becoming a mother figure. For a long time, things worked out beautifully as the ex was supportive, loving, and treated the child as her own.
However, alongside her studies and charity work, the ex developed anorexia. At first, she seemed to manage her condition while still being involved with the child, but things started slipping. The OP noticed that his daughter began refusing bread because "it makes you chunky," and also started refusing to eat pizza and would rather ask for cucumbers and ketchup.
This left the OP horrified, but when he confronted the ex, she assured him she didn't mean any harm and had made those comments during a hard day. He forgave her until his daughter returned after another weekend with the ex and declared that she wanted to be pretty and skinny like the ex.
He confronted the ex again, and like the last time, she claimed she was having another hard day. The OP insisted that she got her hard days under control because he couldn't have them influencing the child, but she broke down in tears, saying that the child was her anchor in life.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
KidyPulse highlights that the behavior adults display around children shapes far more than we realize. They note that this is because kids don’t just listen to what adults say, but they watch what we do, and from that, they build their own understanding of the world. This so-called "silent curriculum" teaches them values, social norms, and even how to manage their emotions.
Building on this, children also start developing body perceptions shockingly early. Care Space reports that children around 3 to 5 already begin forming attitudes about body size, shape, and attractiveness. They further note that by age 7, these views become more flexible and resemble adult-like perceptions, heavily shaped by influences such as family, peers, and media exposure.
These early impressions don’t stay static. Rather, they evolve throughout childhood and adolescence, meaning the messages kids receive in their earliest years can have a lasting impact on how they see themselves later in life.
For this reason, it's important that parents protect their children in regards to the type of information they take in as well as the people they surround themselves with. Sober Speak highlights that parents should be able to draw a line between empathy and enabling when it comes to their children, as it goes a long way in creating a stable, safe and secure environment.
Netizens sided with the OP, emphasizing the need to prioritize the child’s well-being over the relationship with his ex, and stressing that protecting the child from negative influences is the most important consideration. Others, however, struggled to understand why the OP's ex was still in his life.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think the OP is overreacting or doing the right thing by limiting contact? We would love to know your thoughts!
While some netizens insisted that he must cut off contact with his ex, others struggled to understand why she was still in his life in the first place
