After my niece was born, I remember how excited my sister and brother-in-law were about witnessing and capturing all her firsts. From her first tiny step to her first time experiencing a snowfall, they have pictures and pictures of all these beautiful memories.
Just like everyone, this mom wanted her husband to be present during their newborn’s first Christmas. Much to her dismay, he chose to spend it with his 4-year-old daughter, and she felt that it was really unfair. When she confronted him about it, here’s the ridiculous reason that he gave…
More info: Mumsnet
All babies' "firsts" are super special, and parents shouldn't miss them, no matter what
Image credits: freepic.diller / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster's baby was delivered prematurely, and just a few days after they were out of the NICU, her husband went to his parents' house
Image credits: tizzy13
Image credits: user15285612 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster was upset that he missed their baby's first Christmas as he chose to celebrate it with his daughter
Image credits: tizzy13
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She was also annoyed that he refused to let her spend time with his daughter, who really wanted to play with the baby
Image credits: tizzy13
After spending Christmas on her own, with the baby and her son, and receiving no gifts from her husband, the poster was simply annoyed with him
Today, we dive into the life of a tired mom, who is the original poster (OP). Her baby was born prematurely, and she had a complicated delivery. Well, she was barely healing from everything, while also looking after a needy newborn, when the drama started. Her husband went to his parents’ house on the 19th of December, and, much to her annoyance, spent Christmas there.
He claimed that he wanted to spend some quality time with his 4-year-old daughter. The weird part was that he never let his kid come to their house. Even when OP insisted that they could all spend Christmas together at their home, he declined and chose to go to his parents’ place instead. He did invite the poster to visit them for lunch, but she refused to go there.
Her mother-in-law was difficult to be around, and she didn’t want her baby to be miserable over there. Well, the poor woman spent Christmas all on her own, with the newborn and her other son, and barely even celebrated it. She was also upset that while she gave gifts to her husband, his kid, and parents, the guy didn’t get any gifts for her or their kid.
However, what really bothered her the most was that the guy missed his baby’s first Christmas. When she tried to reason with him, he claimed that the newborn “won’t remember it,” which really angered her. She asked her husband to stay away for a while till she thought things through. Super hurt by his behavior, she vented online, seeking support from netizens.
Image credits: nomadsoul1 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Obviously, they sided with her, but to get deeper insights into the matter, Bored Panda interviewed Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor. She claimed that during such a vulnerable time, if a partner chooses to be away a lot, it can feel less like a practical decision and more like being abandoned.
“Even if the baby won’t remember this period, the mother absolutely will. Those early weeks are about survival, recovery, and connection, and when support is missing, the hurt can linger long after the newborn stage has passed. Instead of feeling celebrated or supported, it can leave a parent feeling forgotten, unimportant, or like they’re doing everything solo,” she explained.
Prof. Lobo also spoke about how early motherhood is not meant to be done alone. She stressed that the loneliness, lack of adult conversation, and constant responsibility can make anxiety and low mood creep in. Worries start to spiral because there’s no one there to help ground her or remind her she’s doing okay, she added.
Our expert commented that this can also affect bonding, not because she doesn’t love her baby, but because she’s running on empty. According to Prof. Lobo, when you’re stressed, exhausted, and lonely, it’s harder to stay calm and emotionally present.
Another point that she brought up was how the man was keeping his daughter away from her half-sibling. She said, “It can quietly send the message that the family is divided rather than shared, which can affect feelings of belonging and connection.” Well, looks like the man has a lot to learn, doesn’t he? What would you do in such a situation? Type away in the comments!
Netizens were suspicious why the man was keeping his daughter away from the poster, and some even said there were many red flags
