Children are a reflection of their parents and quickly inculcate everything that they are taught. Also, they can be super manipulative as they know which strings to pull to get their mothers and fathers to comply. Obviously, the adults need to be smart enough to know this.
This mom, on the other hand, did everything her 3-year-old wanted whenever she threw a tantrum. The kid’s cousin was babysitting her and refused to give in as easily. Little did she know that she would face backlash over it! Let's find out what happened…
If parents always give in to their kids' tantrums, there's a high chance they will grow up to be entitled
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The child-free poster occasionally babysat her 3-year-old cousin, whose mom just let the kid do whatever she wanted
Image credits: satura86 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One day, when the poster and the child were watching TV, the little one threw a fit because she wanted to watch another episode
Image credits: prostock-studio / Frepik (not the actual photo)
The poster tried to calm the kid down, but as soon as her mom walked in, she went into a full-fledged tantrum
Image credits: anonymous
What shocked the poster more was that this angered her mom, who demanded that even she give in to the kid's demands
Today’s dramatic story is about how the original poster (OP) tried to discipline her cousin, but ended up angering her mom. OP often babysat the 3-year-old kid, but was well aware of how the little one was. Her mother claimed she used “gentle parenting,” which she felt meant that the child could do whatever she wanted, was never disciplined, and got everything if she threw a fit.
The poster felt really bad because her cousin had a lot of potential, but her mom’s actions were ruining her well-being. Anyway, coming to the main incident, OP and the kid were watching Bluey when her mother came to take her. Well, she started screaming that she wanted to watch another episode. The poster refused to turn on the TV, and told her to calm down and ask her nicely.
Generally, this worked on the child, but since her mom was there, her tantrum just amplified in that moment. OP also didn’t budge, but much to her shock, the other woman glared at her in anger and, in a tone dripping with attitude, asked her to “just put it on.” Our lady was frozen with confusion, not sure what to do. Meanwhile, the kid just went on crying more loudly than before.
The poster felt really awful that the mother was actively ruining the little one, and also hated being a part of it. However, when she vented online, netizens were quick to point out that what OP had done was actually gentle parenting. However, what the mom was doing was “permissive parenting,” and many people often confuse the two.
Image credits: macniak / Freepik (not the actual photo)
For the readers who are not aware of it, development psychologist Diana Baumrind describes permissive parents as having few expectations for how children behave and perform, but lavish them with affirming attention when kids seek it out. While it might sound pleasant on the surface, studies often warn mothers and fathers to avoid it if possible.
Research has also shown that this strategy can have long-lasting negative effects on children. It further elaborates that kids raised by permissive parents tend to lack self-discipline, have poor social skills, become self-involved and demanding, and might feel insecure due to the lack of boundaries and guidance.
Well, we can imagine why the poster was so disturbed by the mother in the story. When Bored Panda reached out to her, she claimed that people should educate themselves properly before having kids. Also, she felt that the most challenging part of the situation was not being able to change it. As OP's not the mother, she can't really overstep in the way the mother raises the child.
"While she is under my care, I'll do it my way and hope that some of that works for the best in the future. The behaviour of the child is actually not too bad when she's with me, which makes me think that just a bit of structure really helps," she added. Besides, OP was really glad that she vented online. She was happy to see that this is a topic that many people are passionate about.
"I hope they mean it and are raising their kids properly, and not just pretending to be behind a keyboard. Because honestly, it seems most kids nowadays are losing empathy, and I hope we can change that," the poster concluded. Also, she will not stop babysitting the kid as she really loves her. What would you do in her shoes? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section!
Netizens clarified that the mom was not using gentle parenting; rather, it was permissive, which was destroying the kid
