The ancient sages once said that the best defense is a good offense. Well, it doesn't always work properly, but many entitled folks, unfortunately, have adapted this principle to successfully manipulate their loved ones and others. And with each new example, we are convinced of this again and again.
For example, the story we're going to tell you today, from the user u/TorturedLawyersDept, has all the elements of a true entitled tale. A little niece, a decent loving auntie, and the kid's parents desperately wanted her to always be available for short-notice babysitting calls. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves...
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has a niece whom she loves very much and usually agrees to the parents' short-notice calls for babysitting
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Recently, the woman brought her partner to help with the kid on one of these calls, since she had an urgent work need
Image credits: TorturedLawyersDept
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
They spent a lovely evening, but then the parents began badmouthing the author for 'catching her neglecting' their child on camera
Image credits: TorturedLawyersDept
Image credits: krakenimages.com / agency (not the actual photo)
However, the woman had warned the parents in advance that she'd be busy with work that evening
Image credits: TorturedLawyersDept
So, the author simply refused to babysit the niece at all—despite having a very good relationship with the kid
The Original Poster (OP) usually helps her brother and SIL with babysitting their daughter from time to time and, let's say, is part of a rather narrow circle of people who can be called at literally the last moment. Which, in fact, happened recently, when the parents urgently needed to go somewhere.
The author warned them that she works from home and that she would be working that evening too, because the request from her bro came too late. She invited her partner, who usually gets along with the girl greatly, and that's how they spent the evening. The aunt worked, while her significant other played with the kid.
And what was the indignation and disappointment of our heroine, when the brother and SIL later accused her of neglecting to babysit? The parents said that they "caught" her on camera, and began to spread rumors among friends and family that she was supposedly a bad aunt. Although, the OP swears that she warned them in advance!
As a result, our heroine ended up refusing to babysit the niece at all and asked to remove herself from the list of 'short-notice nannies.' The relatives became even more indignant, which led to an even greater wave of badmouthing, although even the OP's own mom sided with her because she knew that she had always been a decent auntie.
Well, now the brother and his wife are demanding an apology from the original poster for refusing to babysit, and for her to be available for last-minute calls again, as before. And our heroine sincerely ponders how justified her decision was. The woman took it online seeking support.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"In fact, this happens quite often - when an honest person encounters manifestations of blatant entitlement and manipulating, they begin to think that it's actually their fault for what is happening," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment on this case. "And nothing good comes of it, of course."
"In this situation, if the child's parents consider the aunt to be such a terrible nanny, why then do they insist so much on her babysitting again? Right, because in fact they understand that she is right. And that they themselves need to apologize."
"But of course they don't want to apologize - that's why they resort to aggressive manipulation techniques. If you convince a person that they're guilty, then it's easier to control them, isn't it? I think that sooner or later they will simply tell her that they are ready to refuse her apology - if she goes back to babysitting. This is also such a technique..." Irina summarizes.
People in the comments on the original post, by the way, quite sincerely urge the author not to agree to the demands of her entitled bro and SIL. "You would definitely be [wrong] if you babysit your niece again. You need to protect yourself. How do you know what lies they will tell about you in the future?" someone reasonably wrote.
Many responders are also sure that such a case is a clear reason to reconsider the OP's relationships with relatives. "They have made strong allegations against you and you have to protect yourself and your reputation. They made their bed, they get to lie in it," another netizen added. And what would you, our dear readers, advise the original poster?
People in the comments unanimously sided with the woman, dubbing her relatives incredibly entitled and inappropriate
