It’s great to offer help to the people who need it, whenever you can manage it. Although you might want to be there for everyone endlessly, it’s not possible to do so because it may cause a strain on you. The person asking for help also needs to understand that.
That wasn’t the case in this story, where a single mom kept pestering her friend to babysit her young kids. When she found out the other woman had babysat someone else’s kids once, she was enraged and called her out on it.
More info: Reddit
Friends shouldn’t be expected to constantly provide childcare just because they have free time
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that her friend was feeling down because she couldn’t carry out her birthday plans, as her mother-in-law wasn’t able to babysit the kids
Image credits: galitskaya / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author decided to help out her friend by looking after her kids so that she could enjoy her birthday, and she took them to the zoo and out to lunch
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The birthday girl was overjoyed and posted a photo thanking the author for her childcare help, which angered a single mom friend of theirs
Image credits: OneAndNotTheOther
The single mom, Kelsey, couldn’t believe the poster would babysit other people’s kids because she kept refusing to help with childcare otherwise
It’s clear in this situation that the poster only offered to babysit because it was a one-time thing for her close friend. She was also comfortable around the children because they were slightly older and calmer. That’s why she decided to help her friend out, as she knew it would be easier to manage for a day.
Friendship is supposed to be just like that, where individuals do nice things for each other to the best of their ability. This doesn’t mean that they have to do things they are uncomfortable with or stuff that makes them feel unhappy. Child-free people, especially, shouldn’t feel guilty or pressured to offer childcare to their parent friends just for the sake of maintaining the relationship.
The problem is that the OP’s single mom friend Kelsey, expected her to clear her schedule and babysit her kids several times a month. She had no consideration for her friend’s wishes and never seemed to consider her comfort. That’s why the poster kept refusing to offer childcare and avoided the subject.
It is definitely difficult to say no to offering babysitting help. Parents often expect their friends to do so without any complaint. That’s why the best thing to do is to be honest with them about your schedule and needs. If they don’t respect that, then you can go on the offense and prove yourself to be the most unfit babysitter, although that might affect the friendship.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster made her stance about kids very clear and mentioned that she didn’t feel comfortable around Kelsey’s kids because they were very young and also chaotic. She felt that she could manage looking after her other friend’s kids just for a day because they were much more polite. In general, the OP wasn’t a ‘kid person,’ which is why she had set such boundaries as well.
According to therapists, child-free folks might struggle to connect with their parent peers. This is often because people who have become parents have different struggles and priorities. Although they might reach out for babysitting help, there might not be much else to bond about for a while.
That’s also probably why the OP felt uncomfortable offering childcare help as often; she might have felt taken advantage of and found it hard to connect with her friends anymore. There’s definitely some truth to that in this story because Kelsey clearly expected her to drop everything and babysit her kids, as she was a single parent.
Nobody should feel forced or pressured to be anyone’s unpaid babysitter, even if they are close friends. Luckily, the OP put her foot down in this situation, or else Kelsey would have found more ways to take advantage of her. Hopefully, she realizes someday that her entitlement can cost her a good friendship.
How do you think you would have handled such demands from friends? Share your thoughts down below.
Folks felt that the poster wasn’t in the wrong at all, and suggested a few things she could tell Kelsey to get her off her back
