Losing someone you love can be painful because this person was a huge part of your life, so it’s only natural to grieve and mourn the loss. The thing is, there are some people who don’t understand that grief is not something that goes away quickly, and healing can take as long as it takes.
The original poster (OP) lost her husband 3 years ago, but she had still taped the love notes that he had written to her on the mirror and the counter. One day, the babysitter who knew about it took the tape off and wiped it completely!
More info: Reddit
When a loved one passes away, we hang on to the memories that they left behind as there's no expiration to grief
Image credits: Lisa Fotios / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster's husband used to leave her love notes on the mirror and the counter in dry-erase marker, and it's been 3 years since he passed away, so she had taped them
Image credits: Visible-Document-225
Image credits: Artem Podrez / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When she hired a babysitter for her kids, she specifically told her about the love notes, but a year later, the sitter took off the tape and wiped them
Image credits: Visible-Document-225
The poster was immensely hurt and felt that the woman had done it intentionally so she didn't feel like asking her to return
In today’s tragic story, Reddit user Visible-Document-225 tells us how she lost the precious love notes that her late husband had left her. She lost her husband about 3 years ago, but she still had the love notes that they used to write for each other. It sounds like such a sweet gesture and just shows how the romance between them was still alive.
The thing is, he had written these little messages on the mirror and the counter with a dry-erase marker. To keep this memory of him alive, the poster had taped them so that they would be preserved in their original form. When she hired a babysitter for her 3 kids, she specifically told the woman about the notes.
Now, fast forward to a year later, the sitter removed the tape and wiped away the notes, stating that she was trying to help clean up and thought that the kids had done it. Oh, how devastating it must have been for OP! I mean, the note said, “forever my girl”; why would the kids write that? Also, the tape itself was a barrier to stop her from doing it.
A part of OP wondered whether it was time to remove the notes, but she also felt that the sitter had done it intentionally. She was so hurt by the incident that she told the sitter that she needed space to figure things out, but after 2 days, she just wasn’t ready. In fact, she was also thinking about asking her not to come back as she simply couldn't get over it.
People were very sympathetic when she posted the story online and sought their advice. Some folks asked if there was a possibility that the kids had done it and the sitter took the fall, but OP said that she was pretty sure they hadn’t. The majority of netizens felt that the babysitter had done it deliberately.
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Redditors felt that she was just one of those people who felt that 3 years was enough time to grieve and decided to take matters into her own hands. She probably felt that she was “helping” OP “move on” from her pain, and frankly, it sounds quite horrendous what she did.
To understand more about grief, Bored Panda reached out to Eden Lobo—a counselor and psychology professor—for an interview. She said that letting go of physical reminders of a loved one can be a deeply personal and complex decision, and there's no set timeline for when, or even if, it’s necessary to do so.
“It can be healthy to part with these items when a person feels ready, but this readiness often comes from internal shifts in their grieving process and emotional healing. However, it’s equally important to note that some people may never feel the need to let go of these reminders, and that’s okay too. For many, keeping a special item can continue to bring comfort throughout their lives without impeding healing,” she added.
Redditors rightly pointed out that it was nobody’s business when OP moved on as grief has no expiration date. The babysitter overstepped a massive boundary by doing what she did as she had no right to “help” the poster; in fact, it might have an adverse impact on her healing process. Our expert also claimed that these reminders can also act as emotional anchors, especially in moments when the absence feels particularly overwhelming.
When we asked Prof. Lobo about this attachment to a late person’s physical reminders, she spoke about how people often hold on to physical reminders, like notes, after the loss of a loved one because these items serve as tangible connections to the person who has passed away. She explained how these reminders are proof that such a person existed and that they were once truly loved by them.
“In the grieving process, such reminders can provide comfort and a sense of closeness, helping to keep the memory of the loved one alive in a concrete way. These objects, whether it’s a note, a piece of clothing, or a personal belonging, hold emotional significance, representing not just the person, but the relationship and the moments shared,” she narrated.
Well, our hearts also go out to the poster and we really hope she finds the strength to cope with it. That’s it from our end, folks, so feel free to jot down your thoughts in the comments!
Folks online claimed that the sitter had deliberately done it and she sounded like one of those people who had no idea that healing takes time
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
