Trust is the foundation of any relationship, but what happens when it’s put on the line in the name of a joke? In today's post from the subreddit r/AITAH, a man recounts how his girlfriend’s elaborate “prank” with a mutual friend of theirs jeopardized everything they had built in two years. The woman said she was just playing around, but the guy's definition of fun doesn't include coming home to his partner straddling someone else in their bedroom.
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Pranks often walk the line between harmless fun and hurt feelings
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Or in this case, causing a breakup
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
After his story went viral, the man posted an update
Image credits: anonymous
Betrayal instantly destroys safety and trust in a relationship
Image credits: wayhomestudio / freepik (not the actual photo)
Sometimes you can't know for sure if you're partner is cheating or not, so we asked marriage and family therapist Dr. Talal H. Alsaleem, PsyD, LMFT, also known as the Father of Modern Infidelity Counseling, about the most common signs to look out for. Of course, every situation is different, but Dr. Talal told Bored Panda there are three that stick out:
#1 Over protection of privacy and access to digital interactions
"Secrecy is one the most common elements of infidelity," he explained to us, adding that it manifests in a variety of ways, including:
- Closing out of chat windows when a partner walks in the room
- Deleting the computer history
- Erasing online interactions
- Deleting texts
- Pretending to be working on something else when engaging in internet infidelity behaviors
- Password changes
- Taking phone everywhere
- Using a burner phone
#2 Engaging in selfish behaviors
"When you don't feel close to someone, you are less inclined to think and or care about their needs and desires, because you feel that they don't care about yours," Dr. Talal said.
#3 Superficial conversations
According to the therapist, a lack of intimacy breeds lack of trust and a decrease in vulnerability. As a result, "you are less likely to have a deep, soulful conversation with your partner about your hopes, dreams, and the things that bother you."
#4 Living Separate lives
Dr. Talal, author of the books Unfaithful & Unrepentant: Affairs Beyond the Hope of Repair and Infidelity: The Best Worst Thing that Could Happen to Your Marriage: The Complete Guide on How to Heal from Affairs, said that when the bond is strong, we tend to spend a lot of time with our partners and wholeheartedly enjoy mutual activities. But when it's weak, couples start drifting apart and look for things to do by themselves or with other people that they feel close to.
According to scientific research conducted on couples in Britain and published in the journal PLOS-ONE, the top reasons why couples break up are:
- Growing apart;
- Arguing;
- Unfaithfulness;
- Lack of respect;
- Different interests;
- Moving;
- Money problems;
- Not sharing housework;
- Difficulties with sex;
- Domestic violence;
- Not having children;
- Drinking/drugs/gambling.
So while it's unclear whether or not the woman had actually cheated, judging from the post, it might be that the couple's relationship had been already plagued by at least a couple of these issues.
Most of those who read what happened said the man did nothing wrong
However, a few saw the situation differently
