People Had Such Awful Neighbors, They Had To Vent Online And Shared These 53 Photos (New Pics)

Sometimes, having a problematic neighbor is almost inevitable. You have a starkly different view of what is acceptable and what isn’t, which may be a source of friction. And unless the problem has gotten to the point of destructiveness, moving away isn’t a practical solution. 

Learning how to handle troublesome neighbors would be your next best bet. And in an article for Psychology Today, evolutionary psychologist Nigel Barber outlined a few ways to do this, along with potential drawbacks.

According to Barber, avoidance is one path to take, and it’s self-explanatory. It’s as simple as steering clear of the neighbor in question. However, it’s merely a band-aid solution that may cause more problems. 

“Conflict among neighbors often has a fairly trivial pretext, but escalates if the irritant is not resolved,” Barber said.

Negotiation is another way to handle a troublesome neighbor. On the surface, it seems like the diplomatic and proper approach. But as Barber pointed out, it may not work with an unreasonable person. 

“Who wouldn't love their dog, who nevertheless is a chronic barker and whines all day while the owner is away? If the owners deny that there is a problem, it cannot be remedied,” he wrote. 

If the issue escalates to a point where one neighbor may take legal action, Barber says it also has its fair share of headaches. He described such actions as “stepping into a minefield of unanticipated consequences.” 

“The fallout extends from getting turned in if their sidewalk is not shoveled in winter to being cited for minor infringements in city building ordinances, or even having a home extension challenged for code violation,” Barber wrote. 

So, what would be the best way to handle disputes with neighbors? Licensed therapist Lindsey Rae Ackerman says the approach should be rooted in finding a solution to the problem rather than assigning blame. 

In an interview with Time Magazine, she advised saying something like, “I’m struggling because of something that’s happening in your space, so I'm coming to you to collaborate on solutions.”

To give a more concrete example, Ackerman described a scenario in which a neighbor plays loud music late at night. In such a situation, she urges phrasing the request in a collaborative way, something like: 

“Do you think we could find a quiet window after 10 p.m. on weeknights so we can both get enough sleep?”