Visiting your parents’ house and staying in your childhood bedroom can be an incredibly nostalgic experience. It might feel like being transported back in time if the decorations and bedding haven’t changed since you were in high school. But being hit with this blast from the past can be confusing for everyone if you bring your partner home for the holidays. Your parents might still see you as a baby, despite your actual age, and be uncomfortable with the idea of your romantic partner being close by.
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Below, you’ll find a story that one woman recently shared on Reddit detailing how she was never allowed to share a room with her boyfriend in her mother’s home. But now that her mom is dating, she’s decided to enforce the same rule in her own home.
This woman's mother never allowed her to share a bedroom with her boyfriend while visiting
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Now, she's decided to enforce the very same rule in her own home
Image credits: Daniel Martinez/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Temporary-Truth-1969
Parents should try to lead by example and follow their own rules
Image credits: Polina Kuzovkova/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The idea of your parents dating might make you extremely uncomfortable. And if you have children, you probably don’t want to think about them being romantically involved either. So it’s understandable for moms and dads to be hesitant about their kids, who they will always see as babies, sharing beds with their partners.
In fact, it’s a relatively common issue that adults complain about online. One woman wrote to Mirror that she wasn’t even allowed to share a bed with her husband in her parents’ home. And a parent reached out to Boomer Magazine seeking advice on whether or not her 20-year-old daughter should be allowed to share a bedroom with her boyfriend.
On one hand, these are all consenting adults who undoubtedly share a bed with their partner all the time when Mom and Dad aren’t around. But some parents believe that they should be able to create the rules in their own homes, and if their kids don’t like it, they can stay somewhere else.
In the case of this particular story, however, the woman believes that her mother is being hypocritical by refusing to follow her own rule in her daughter’s home. This brings up another common parenting issue: should Mom and Dad be required to follow their own rules, or can they just use the old “do as I say, not as I do”?
According to Doug and Cathy Fields, authors of Intentional Parenting, it’s important for parents to understand that their kids are always watching and observing their behaviors. And “Because I said so” isn’t going to satisfy them when they ask for an explanation.
It’s much better to be an example and show your children how to follow the rules that you’ve set than to enforce them and refuse to abide by them yourself. Especially once your kids have grown up, they’re not going to be happy to accept rules that they disagree with without any reasonable explanation.
Pushing your children away might encourage them to cut off contact altogether
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
By creating unnecessary or illogical rules for your children, you might just end up pushing them away. After all, would you rather know that your kids are safe in your own home or send them off to an Airbnb somewhere else?
There has been an exponential increase in adult children cutting off their parents in recent years, and apparently, Gen Z is leading this rebellion.
Dr. Karl Pillemer, author of Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them, has found through his research that 27% of Americans over the age of 18 are estranged from at least one family member. Dr. Pillemer explains that, in each case, there has been a breakdown of relationships in these families, often paired with unsuccessful or aggressive attempts at communication.
Psychologist Mark Travers at Forbes has also delved into the issue of family estrangement, as it seems to be a hot topic at the moment, and broken down some of the main reasons why adults often choose to go co-contact with their parents. If someone has experienced toxic parenting, is still dealing with unresolved family conflicts or betrayal or has major ideological differences from their parents, they may decide to cut them off.
This can be an extremely painful and heartbreaking experience for both parents and their children to endure, so it’s much better to focus on repairing relationships while they still have a chance.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues, look no further than right here.
Many readers agreed that the woman had every right to enforce this rule in her own home
However, some thought that she was being just as petty as her mother
