It’s funny how some people never really learn anything from the weird moments in their lives. Despite growing older, they are still stuck in the same drama as in high school. I guess, not everyone has been given the gift of emotional maturity, right?
Take this guy, for instance, who insisted that there was nothing between him and his female best friend. His 37-year-old date couldn’t believe she had to deal with teen drama at that age, but plotted to find out the truth. Scroll down to uncover what she learned about them!
More info: Reddit
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The 37-year-old poster started dating a guy, and she liked him, but he was always texting his "female best friend" during their dates
Image credits: fabrikasimf / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Apparently, he jokingly told the poster that many women had a problem with this friendship, so she hatched a plan to learn the truth
Image credits: shisuka / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When she met his "bestie," she lied to her that she was just having fun with the guy, after which she noticed the change in the other woman
Image credits: Ok_Cellist63
She clearly realized that the guy was in love with his best friend, but the woman only wanted him when he was unavailable, so the poster felt sorry for him
Trust me when I say this, but today’s story is about people in their late 30s, not about some high school drama. The 37-year-old original poster (OP) got back into the dating scene a few years after her late husband, and she was under the impression that it would be different at that age. However, the guy she met soon proved her wrong after they had gone on a couple of dates.
She started to like him, but suddenly noticed he was on his phone during their dates. When it got too much for her, she asked him about it, and he said that it was his “female best friend” teasing him about going on the date. Apparently, women in the past had a problem with this friendship. Well, OP got the gist of what was happening as this continued on all their dates.
Eventually, when the poster met her, the two women instantly “clicked.” Our lady’s “new bestie” obviously asked her about how things were with the guy. OP lied that they were just having fun, and the other woman’s expression changed. From the guy’s behavior later, the poster understood that she had told him everything, and after that, his bestie’s calls magically subsided.
When OP asked him about it, he claimed that she often “disappeared.” It was clear to the poster that he was in love with her, but she only wanted him when he was unavailable. In fact, she even felt sorry for him, but didn’t say anything about it. Besides, she was almost sure that if she told him, he would just dismiss it as female rivalry or jealousy.
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To get deeper insight into the situation, Bored Panda got in touch with Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor. She claimed that it is clearly evident how the man had an enmeshed, co-dependent relationship with his “best friend.” She elaborated that the person is already emotionally married to the friend, leaving just crumbs of attention for a romantic partner.
“Essentially, this guy is stuck in emotional limbo. He is using his friend as a human shield to avoid getting too close to anyone else. Over time, this will ruin his ability to actually connect with a partner because he never learns how to prioritize one person or set healthy boundaries. The real tragedy is that he’s losing out on good people over it,” Prof. Lobo explained.
Our expert believes that high-value women with zero time for games see that behavior and check out immediately. She stressed that his sense of perspective is skewed, as he is stuck in a cycle of failed connections. He’ll keep wondering why his relationships never stick, never realizing that he’s the one blocking his own path to a real partnership, she added.
“He thought he was a loyal friend. However, he was just self-sabotaging, trading a real connection for a series of text-message dopamine hits from someone who isn’t even there for him,” Prof. Lobo concluded. I agree with netizens that the poster handled the situation quite well. What would you do in her shoes? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Netizens applauded the poster for handling the situation in the best way possible, and rejecting the red flag
