The job market is extremely competitive. Applicants often have to do tests and sit through multiple rounds of interviews, where how they phrase something is just as important as what they say. And even if they do everything seemingly right, they might not get the job because they were a tad too honest or blunt.
Well-known recruiting manager Bonnie Dilber recently went viral on TikTok and in the media after sharing her advice about what candidates should consider 'lying' about during their interviews. The clip is a masterclass in subtle corporate communication. Scroll down for her advice and to see how the internet reacted to it.
Bored Panda reached out to Dilber, and she was kind enough to answer our questions about why the video reached so many people, as well as how job applicants can build up their confidence before an important interview. You'll find the insights she shared with us, including why it's important to communicate one's passion for a job position, as you read on.
Being too blunt about certain things can put you at a disadvantage in job interviews. One recruiting pro shared when it's okay to bend the truth a little
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
"There are three things that I need you to lie about in every interview. Save these and prepare your lies before every interview"
Image credits: bonniedilber
Number one, if you were leaving your job because you really dislike it, because you don't get along with your boss or your colleagues, you're gonna lie about this.
Image credits: bonniedilber
Please, do not tell them that your boss doesn't like you. Don't tell them that everyone's really hard to work with.
All they're going to hear when you say that is that you are difficult. Instead, you're going to say something like, "Things are going great, but I want to take on bigger challenges."
Image credits: bonniedilber
The second thing that you're going to lie about is why you want the job. I mean, look y'all, like 100 percent of people who want a job want it for the money and benefits.
Image credits: bonniedilber
That's not a unique answer. It doesn't actually differentiate you from anyone. And it's a big red flag to them because they think that's all you care about if that's the only thing you can come up with.
Instead, you are going to tell them why you're passionate about the company's mission, why this job is your life's work, and how you are just such a good fit for the culture at this company.
Image credits: bonniedilber
And the third one, y'all, is your plans for the future. I don't care if you are starting grad school in six months and just need this job as a filler.
I don't care if this job pays half of what you're used to making and you are going to jump ship as soon as you find something better.
Image credits: bonniedilber
When they ask you about your plans for the next five years, your plans are to be at that company. Your plans are to come in, knock it out of the park in this role, and continue to grow as opportunities arise.
What every company wants is top talent that is going to stay and grow with them. And if you come into an interview and communicate that your current job's not going well, you're just really in it for the money, and you don't really plan on staying long term, you are none of those things.
Image credits: bonniedilber
And y'all, recruiters are not dumb. We know that if everything was awesome at your current job, you wouldn't be leaving.
We know that you are in it for the money and the benefits. We know that you will leave if there is better money and better benefits somewhere else. But those are universal things.
So if you can't differentiate yourself from the crowd, if you can't come up with anything better than those really basic things, if you don't have the critical thinking to know that those aren't going to be very attractive to an employer, then it's going to be hard for a recruiter to move you forward in their process.
You can watch Dilber's full viral video right over here
We asked Dilber why she thinks her TikTok clip resonated so deeply with so many viewers. "I think the concept of 'lie' is triggering to people but if you watch the video, I think it becomes clearer what I mean is strategic communication or diplomacy—it's understanding the values of your audience and tailoring your message accordingly," she told Bored Panda via email.
"Some people feel that they should not have to 'fake' interest in a job. But the reality is that employers want a workforce that cares about their work and over and over again, I see jobseekers who are able to communicate that passion land roles over those who don't," the recruiting manager explained.
Looking for a new job is nerve-racking as it is. For some people, going to actual job interviews is beyond stressful. They feel overwhelmed and not in control. Bored Panda asked Dilber for her thoughts on how people applying for a new job can build a sense of confidence before those all-important interviews.
"If you landed an interview, you're a strong candidate and they are excited to talk to you," she pointed out to Bored Panda.
"You can anticipate a lot of the questions in advance (and use Chat GPT to brainstorm some) and practice your responses. It's helpful to prepare a few examples that you can speak to," she said.
According to the expert, you could, for instance, think about 2 to 3 projects that went really well, and 1 that didn't. "You can then pull on these examples when asked about how you led a team to achieve an outcome, a time you failed, how you organize projects, how you use data to achieve results, etc.," Dilber noted that all of these are common behavioral interview questions.
Dilber currently manages a recruiting team for a tech company and has been in the recruiting field for 9 years. "Prior to recruiting, I worked in program management and teacher development, but my favorite part of my job was hiring and building my team," she shared with us.
"I loved getting to make matches between great people and great opportunities so it just made sense to move into recruiting full-time! We spend more time at work than anywhere else, and being able to support people on their professional journey is really rewarding and fun."
The recruiting specialist later filmed a sequel with a list of lies to never tell anyone during an interview
Dilber, who is based in Seattle, is a seasoned recruiter who regularly shares practical insights and tips for thriving in the job industry. She has a very big following on the internet. The recruiting manager boasts 53.4k followers on TikTok, as well as 10.4k fans on Instagram. Meanwhile, a whopping 383.7k people follow her on LinkedIn.
At the time of writing, Dilber’s nearly two-minute-long video had been viewed a whopping 2.6 million times and counting.
Though many of us think that honesty is the best policy, this isn’t quite true in the corporate world. If you need a job, even a temporary one, feigning enthusiasm for the company’s mission and values can give you an important advantage.
What matters more than the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is being diplomatic, tactful, and showing recruiters that you understand how nuanced communication works.
Don’t forget that the people interviewing you have a lot of experience and (usually) know what they’re doing. They know that you’re here for the money, benefits, and future career prospects.
So when you talk about being passionate about the company and its projects, you’re showing that you’ve done your research, you’re energetic, and you’re driven. In short, you’re leaving a powerful, positive impression (even if you're super nervous and the position is just a stepping stone in your illustrious career path).
Some people value honesty no matter what, but there’s something to be said for diplomatic and graceful communication. Even if your former boss/manager/team lead wasn’t the best person around, you shouldn’t be bad-mouthing them to others. The person interviewing you might wonder whether you’ll spread gossip about them in the future as well. All in all, it's not a good look.
Depending on your line of work, the recruiter interviewing you might know the person you’re venting about. Or someone else at the company might know them. Focusing on the future and the positives is better than dredging up the past. It’s better to be more subtle and careful in the corporate world. You never know who you'll meet on your career journey in the future.
During a previous interview, career coach Jermaine Murray from Jupiter HR told Bored Panda about the importance of job applicants being their own biggest cheerleaders.
"They humble themselves when they need to be boasting. If you understand why the work that you were doing was important and how it impacts your org (project) then you should be explaining that to the interviewer without holding back,” he told us earlier.
“How did you go above and beyond to make sure things worked? What creative ways did you come up with? Show off,” the career coach suggested.
According to Murray, both your tone of voice and your body language are important if you want to be successful during job interviews.
To put it simply, you always want to exude an aura of confidence and capability. If you’re unconfident, your talents and achievements might not gleam as brightly during the interview.
The career coach said that if your body language and tone say that you don’t believe in yourself, it can “destroy the perception of your skills.” He added: “Once that's gone so are your chances of landing the job.”
Soft skills are also vital. "You can teach someone to be a better coder but it's near impossible to teach them how to be a better person. Recruiters will always value personality first, but technical skills are a very close second," Murray told Bored Panda before.
"Hiring managers keep that in mind and try to make sure candidates they like can perform competently. Different things contribute to this bar that aren't based on the candidate but the organization's internal ability to support and develop someone. Once those two elements are present a hire will happen.”
Here's how the TikTok community reacted to Dilber's original viral video
