Bereavement leave is a blessing when you’ve lost someone close to you. Some time away from work to process your feelings without distractions can go a long way to getting your healing off to a good start.
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For one boss, though, he’s been forced to deny one of his employees time off after she lost her 3-day-old fetus. This is nothing new—in 2024, she lost 13 unborn children and took 13 weeks of paid time off. The boss turned to the web to ask if he was being a jerk.
More info: Reddit
Bereavement leave is a perk not to be squandered, as this boss has finally been forced to teach one of his employees
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
According to the boss, the woman took 13 weeks of paid time off last year, not including vacations and personal days
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After losing her 3-day-old fetus, the 14th in just over a year, he put his foot down and denied her any more time off
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He’s since turned to the internet to ask whether denying her bereavement leave once again was a jerk move
OP begins his story by telling the community that he might be the jerk because, after the employee in question lost a fetus nine days ago, he asked her how it was possible to have lost another fetus so soon.
While the employee said it was none of his business, she did tell him that she had gotten pregnant again the day before she returned to work. OP tells his readers that that means the latest fetus to be lost was just 3 days old.
He goes on to explain that the employee in question lost 13 unborn children in 2024, and all the pregnancies lasted a similar amount of time. OP also reveals that she took 13 weeks of paid time off within the last year, excluding vacation and personal days.
According to OP, this year he’s putting a stop to it. But while updating the company’s bereavement policy to require supporting medical and funeral documentation (all for this one problematic employee), he decided to abandon the process and instead turn to the web for help deciding whether he was being a jerk.
Bereavement leave is not to be taken lightly. It can be critical for an employee’s well-being and provides them with some valuable time off to begin processing their grief in peace.
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If you’ve ever had to take time off work after losing a loved one, you’ll agree how valuable it can be, especially during a stressful time.
In his article for Reuters, Chris Taylor writes that, in the New York Life Foundation's latest "State of Grief” report, 76% of people said bereavement benefits were important when deciding on a new job, while 85% said they would be proud to work for an employer that was grief-supportive. Another 71% were interested in taking grief support training to help colleagues through a loss.
But what are some ways to help employees cope with grief in the workplace?
"First and foremost, employers can offer clear bereavement leave policies that would ideally include at least five paid days off," says Rebecca Soffer, author of "The Modern Loss Handbook." Employers would also do well to provide the person going through a loss some flexibility, like dialing back expectations and adjusting deadlines if need be.
From what OP tells us in his post, the company has been more than generous with granting time off to the constantly miscarrying mother. Perhaps it’s time for them to renegotiate her contract, establish some reasonable boundaries, and even investigate maternal health support options if the company's benefit scheme offers it.
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Bored Panda reached out to psychologist Dr. Deborah Hecker to get her expert opinion on the situation OP is facing.
We asked Dr. Hecker how managers should approach a situation where there’s skepticism about an employee’s claims of loss.
She had this to say, “The employer should speak in person to the employee, never via email or phone. He or she should review with the employee the company’s sick-leave policies and the consequences of violating them. Meticulous documentation and a clear record of events is mandatory.”
Hecker went on to add, “No matter how outrageous the employee in question’s story may sound, it is critical to provide them with an opportunity to explain their side. Fairness is needed, as every story has at least two sides.”
When we asked Dr. Hecker how she’d advise OP to move forward with the employee in question, she said that she thinks it is reasonable for OP to ask the employee to provide documentation from their physician for their condition and prognosis.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think the employee should be given even more bereavement leave, or has she abused the system for too long? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
Readers weighed in with comments, with most accusing the woman of trying to game the system and take advantage of the company’s compassion and generosity
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