When a person becomes a stepparent, they have to set their ego aside, adjust to their new family, and also do what’s best for their stepchildren. All of these are important parenting duties that they take on, but, unfortunately, they might not always get the recognition they deserve.
This is exactly what happened to one woman who was trying to respect her stepkid’s needs, but ended up being berated by her best friend for not actually being a mom. This obviously hurt the woman who was doing her best to be a good stepmother.
More info: Reddit
Some people give more importance to biological parents over stepparents, even though they might be putting in a lot of effort
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that after her tween stepkid got her hair done, she was in tears because it was not what she wanted, and so she asked for some space to deal with her feelings
Image credits: dikushin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster respected her stepkid’s wishes, and then FaceTimed her mom friend to talk about the situation, but was shocked when she wanted to disturb the tween
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster refused to listen to her best friend, who was trying to egg her on to invade the tween’s privacy, and was also insulting her by saying she wasn’t a real mom
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster felt annoyed and hurt by her bestie’s put-downs about her not being a mom, so she texted the woman and sarcastically hit back at her
Image credits: woundedwillow
Even though the poster felt guilty about being petty with her best friend, she realized that the other woman shouldn’t have demeaned her in such a way
Since the poster had been dating her boyfriend for seven years, she was also quite close to his 12-year-old daughter. That’s why when the tween randomly came home crying about her ruined hair, the OP was able to comfort her and make her feel a bit better. She also respected the girl’s need for privacy and let her get some space in her room.
According to parenting experts, it’s important for adults to understand that their young children might need some time on their own now and then. Although it might feel worrying when tweens ask for space, this is a normal thing for them to do, and parents should try to respect their decision and also let them know they’re there for support.
This is exactly what the OP did for her stepkid, and she also decided to tell her best friend about the situation. Unfortunately, the other woman started pestering her to invade the tween’s space and to show the girl’s ruined hair on FaceTime, even though the poster didn’t think it was right to do so.
It’s possible that some parents think that it’s better to interfere in their children’s lives and solve their problems, but research shows that this can negatively affect their relationship. It can also hamper the kid’s independence and make them feel fearful of figuring things out on their own.
Image credits: Stockbusters / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Even though the OP’s friend was trying to give her advice on how to deal with the tween’s problem, what actually annoyed her most was when the other woman told her she wasn’t a mom. The friend kept putting down the poster for just being a stepmom, and made it seem like her opinion mattered more since she had kids.
Eventually, the other lady ended the call when the poster tried to set a boundary with her. She didn’t seem to realize how much her comments had affected her friend and how rude her behavior had been. Unfortunately, this situation also made the OP doubt herself and her parenting abilities.
This is a problem that many stepparents face, and professionals explain that most people don’t even realize how much effort folks have to put in when they become part of a blended family. That’s why it’s important for stepparents to keep putting their new family first, instead of giving in to outside opinions.
The OP also realized that nothing could be gained from listening to her rude friend, and so she sent the other woman a sarcastic message calling her out. Even though she felt a bit guilty about being so petty, she knew that her bond with her stepkid was real, even if she wasn’t the tween’s biological mother.
What would you have said to the friend if you were in the poster’s place? Do share your thoughts below.
Folks were shocked by the bestie’s words and assured the poster that she was a real mom, regardless of what anybody said
