The people who you think are your friends might not actually be your friends. In some cases, it can take even a decade to realize that they don’t have your best interests at heart… and that they enjoy toying with your life.
In a heartfelt post on the ‘Relationship Advice’ online group, internet user u/ThrowRA_Wrangler_944 asked everyone to weigh in on her 10-year friendship falling apart. The woman revealed how her BFF intentionally sabotaged her latest relationship by making her cheat. You’ll find the author’s full story, as well as all the advice everyone gave her, below.
Real friends support you. Fake friends, on the other hand, either ignore your needs or actively hurt you
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
A woman asked the internet for help after her 10-year friendship was shattered. Her BFF intentionally sabotaged her relationship with her boyfriend in a horrible way
Image credits: Anna Tolipova / freepik (not the actual photo)
She later shared her last exchanges with her (former) best friend
Image credits: ThrowRA_Wrangler_944
Fake friends don't have your best interests at heart. All they really care about are their own wants and needs
One of the best ways to get to know a person’s true values, priorities, and attitude toward you is to spend time with them in various situations. You can tell a lot about someone’s character when things get tough and you genuinely need help.
For example, so-called ‘fair-weather friends’, aka fake friends, are people who are only around when things are going swimmingly. In other words, they’re happy to be around you when the weather is fair and the sun is shining, metaphorically or not.
However, when things get stormy and you’re going through a difficult time in your life, suddenly, those pals are nowhere to be seen. Rest assured, though, they’ll be back the moment you’ve solved your personal problems, pretending that nothing ever happened. Simply put, these are people who might be fun to hang out with, but they won’t have your back. They’re too unreliable.
In a nutshell, fake friends ignore your needs and put their own at the forefront of your relationship with them. Sure, they’ll create the illusion that they care about you, but their words won’t ever turn into concrete support.
Fake friends are manipulative, inconsistent, disrespectful, jealous, ignore your boundaries, and might betray you at any time. For example, they might gossip about you behind your back. Or they might leak sensitive information that you shared only with them.
One of the healthiest things you can do is protect your boundaries
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
And then there are toxic ‘friends’ who intentionally want to hurt you because they either enjoy it or want to boost their self-esteem by putting you down. They, like fake friends, introduce stress into your life and harm your physical and mental health.
You need to prioritize your well-being. Focus not just on communicating and establishing healthy boundaries, but also on protecting them. In other words, when your friends do something inappropriate, and you’ve warned them of the consequences, you need to actually follow through with those consequences.
For example, that might mean spending less time around the people who drain you, sabotage you, and make you second-guess your decisions. If things get really bad, you may want to think about cutting them out of your life entirely. Your well-being is worth more than fake friends (even long-term ones) who don’t want what’s best for you.
We’d like to hear what you have to say about the sensitive topic, too, Pandas. How do you protect your boundaries when it comes to the people closest to you? What do you look for the most in a friendship? Have you ever had fake friends try to sabotage you? What are the biggest red flags that you’d like to warn everyone of?
The story went viral, and the author shared more details while responding to some of her readers
Meanwhile, this is how other internet users reacted to the imploding friendship
