We’ve all had that one friend who says they're five minutes away while they’re clearly still in pajamas and even wondering where they left their car keys. Usually it means a late dinner, a missed movie, but you never really expect that for a wedding. This one takes the art of disappearing to a level that leaves everyone scratching their heads.
That’s essentially what happened to today's Original Poster (OP), who thought he could count on his best friend to stand beside him on one of the biggest days of his life. Instead, what transpired left the OP questioning what this would mean for their friendship in the future.
More info: Reddit
There's an unspoken expectation that your best man will be one of the few people you never have to worry about on your wedding day
Image credits: MYSET / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The author invited his best friend of over a decade to be his best man at his intimate destination wedding after planning the event for more than a year
Image credits: pvproductions / Magnific (not the actual photo)
On the day before the wedding, the friend delayed his six-hour drive, missed the rehearsal, and later sent messages saying he was dealing with health issues and personal struggles
Image credits: ksyusha_yanovich / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Although he made it all the way to the wedding venue, he stayed in his car, never got out, and ultimately drove back home without attending the ceremony
Image credits: vasilij33 / Magnific (not the actual photo)
After returning from his honeymoon, the author learned what had happened and struggled to trust his friend, especially after a reserved guest spot went unused
Image credits: Mother_Connection441
Unsure whether to forgive him or move forward with their planned business venture, he asked whether cutting off communication would make him the bad guy
The OP and his wife planned their wedding hoping to have just 30 people due to space restrictions. With over a year of planning, every invite and choice were deliberate. The groom could only bring one friend, making that best man spot especially significant. The best man had been part of their life for over a decade and had committed early on, making his attendance seem solid.
He was expected to travel to the venue a day early for rehearsal and dinner, and at first, everything seemed on track. On the day of the rehearsal and dinner, then came the gradual delays from feeling unwell to leaving later than planned. Eventually, he missed the rehearsal.
Later that night, the OP received a message from the best man detailing how he had been dealing with severe headaches, insomnia, withdrawal symptoms, and emotional distress from a recent breakup. He even asked what he was at the event for, which upset the OP. Still, he encouraged his friend to simply rest before the wedding, until another lengthy message came in which he didn't bother reading.
He got married without the best man and once he returned from his honeymoon, he read the full explanation his friend had sent. In the message, he once again detailed everything he was going through and apologized for not being at the wedding. However, guests reported that the friend had been at the venue for some time but drove away.
This left the OP feeling upset as that choice felt more painful than simply canceling earlier. Aside from the fact that the spot could have easily been given to someone else, the OP was also left conflicted, especially since the two had been preparing to launch a business together. Now, questioned whether he could rely on someone who failed to communicate during such an important milestone.
Image credits: Trzykropy / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Situations like this often raise bigger questions about what people expect from close friendships, especially during major life events. The Guardian notes that weddings can serve as a real test of a friendship, revealing who people can truly count on when it matters most. Because these occasions require months of planning, communication, and commitment, they say reliability becomes especially meaningful.
That idea is echoed by Six Seconds, which notes that trust is built through consistent actions rather than emotional closeness alone. While genuine mistakes and unexpected circumstances can happen, honoring commitments demonstrates dependability and respect for the people who are counting on you. During significant occasions, those actions often carry more weight than words.
Peachi also highlights that broken trust and repeated unreliability are among the most common reasons adult friendships fall apart. While many people are willing to forgive isolated incidents, experts suggest that rebuilding confidence becomes much harder when someone lets a friend down during a milestone they'll remember for the rest of their lives.
Netizens felt the OP was justified in questioning the friendship. They also argued that if his friend couldn't be relied on for such an important day, trusting him with a business would be an even bigger risk. Let's hear from you. If you were in the OP's shoes, would you still consider going into business with this friend? We would love to know your thoughts!
Some netizens insisted the author cut his friend off, while some believed the friend was experiencing a serious personal crisis rather than acting out of malice
