In the opera "Faust" Mephistopheles sings "People die for metal!" - meaning, of course, gold. Almost two centuries have passed since the opera took place, and people, alas, have changed little. Financial issues are ready to change them completely. For the worse, of course.
The story we present for your attention today is one of such situations. Its author, after many years of marriage and sharing a roof with her husband and stepkids, suddenly encountered the true face of her family members. The reason? As is almost always the case - money.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a mom who lost her husband many years ago and got remarried later, to a guy who had twins
Image credits: williamdondyk / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Many years have passed since then - the author's son is 17 now, and his late dad's fortune let him have a decent college fund
Image credits: UnsatisfiedMother15
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author's husband lost much of his kids' money on gambling, so he suggested sharing the money between the three kids
Image credits: UnsatisfiedMother15
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman refused flatly - and in the heat of a resulting quarrel, the husband even dared to hit her
Image credits: UnsatisfiedMother15
However, the woman let her friends and parents coax her into giving the husband one more chance - since he apologized and agreed to have therapy
Let's now introduce the Original Poster (OP) - a 40-year-old woman who has a 17-year-old son from her first marriage. Many years ago, the author's first husband tragically passed away, and a couple of years later the woman met her current spouse. He, in turn, has two twins, a boy and a girl aged 15.
And this age of children automatically means that it's time to think about continuing their education. Luckily, the author's son has no problem with this - his late father's insurance and her savings allowed them to save up a hefty college fund for him. So when the boy said he wanted to go study in Australia, his mom was calm - they could afford it quite easily.
Of course, her stepkids also wanted to study in Australia. But the problem was that both parents had separate college funds for their kids and the author's husband lost a significant part of his on gambling. The man couldn't think of anything better than to suggest his wife pool the money - and then split it three ways.
And here our heroine refused flatly. Even though her son actually was not against sharing with his stepsiblings. But for the author, it was a matter of principle - especially since this money was mostly her late husband's fortune. Word for word - the spouses had a serious quarrel, and in the heat of an argument in private, the husband even dared to slap her. For the first time in years of marriage.
Later, according to the woman, they sorted things out, but since then, the stepkids, who had always been cordial to her, started calling her cruel and giving her the cold shoulder. However, this situation didn't become a reason for the author to reconsider her plans for this marriage. Friends and her own parents generally said that at her age it's difficult to find a new partner, being a widow and a divorcee.
As a result, everything seemed to work out. According to the author's update, of course. The husband apologized to her, in the presence of her parents, and also agreed to have therapy and go to rehab. The stepkids also brought apologies - however, our heroine in return agreed to send part of the money to their college funds. At least she seems to think her marriage deserves another chance...
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels (not the actual photo)
"It's a difficult situation. On the one hand, this woman really knows better, because she knows all the ins and outs of her family life that we don't know. On the other hand, how many times has domestic violence been justified by the fear of being alone or the desire to maintain the status quo," wonders Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here.
"Of course, it's good that the husband agreed to therapy - but don't you think that in the end he and his children simply got their way? And the violence factor is one big red flag, and this woman could have easily gotten the police involved. And she would have been completely right."
"Again, it's her life, and it's up to her to decide what to do, whether to give her husband another chance or not. However, it seems to me that there are enough red flags in this story for a happy reconciliation and a peaceful life together in the future. Although, of course, I would like to be wrong," Irina concludes.
But the commenters to the original post are almost certain that the author needed to cut ties with the husband and his children after such treatment. "Call a lawyer. Prepare to leave and do it right. You have a job, property and rental income. You are in a good position to restart," one of the people in the comments literally urged the woman. "Do it now, before the next slap comes."
According to the responders, greed and insults can be forgiven - but not beatings. "I'm sorry, the greed I could dismiss once you said you would not give up your son's dad's legacy for him, but once he hit you all bets were off," someone commented. "Having no man would be better than having this man, it sounds like," another person added. And do you, our dear readers, also share this opinion?
People in the comments mostly disagreed with the author's decision, claiming that just one slap is a huge red flag anyway
