It’s totally understandable that accidents can happen, kids might be born, and mothers may decide to give them up for adoption. However, after years of no contact, they can’t just expect these children to accept the biological parents with open arms, can they?
When this woman delivered her baby, she decided to give her daughter up for adoption, but after 16 years, she suddenly showed up. Apparently, she realized that she could not have any more kids, so the mom wanted a relationship with the teen. Well, things didn’t go as planned. Here’s what really happened…
More info: Reddit
When parents choose careers over kids, they can't really expect them to bond after years of no contact
Image credits: sviatkovskyi / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster's mom had her in her early 20s, but gave her up for adoption as she wanted to focus on her career
Image credits: BoatInevitable2681
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, when the poster was 16, her mom reached out wanting to bond, but the teen realized that it was because she couldn't have more kids
Image credits: BoatInevitable2681
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster refused to have this strange relationship, and even netizens assured her that she was not a consolation prize for her mom
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster gave an update that she had openly spoken with her mom about how hurt she had felt for being treated like a last resort
Image credits: BoatInevitable2681
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Although the poster was glad that she gave her up for adoption, as she had incredible parents, what the woman was asking was unfair
Image credits: BoatInevitable2681
She felt relieved from the stress and anxiety after finally confessing to the woman that she definitely didn't want a relationship with her
Today’s story starts on a sad note as the original poster (OP) tells us how her biological mom had given her up for adoption because she wasn't ready. However, when the daughter was 16, the woman suddenly showed up asking to bond. Well, the teen had a lot of questions, so she agreed to meet her, but little did she know how hurtful things would get.
OP found out that her mom was quite successful, but couldn’t have any more children, so she wanted a relationship with her daughter. The poor poster was absolutely devastated at being treated like a last resort, so she confessed that she didn’t want to bond with her. Unfortunately, the woman wasn’t able to take the hint and still persisted with her convincing.
When OP texted her to stop, the woman called her up and asked what made her so uncomfortable. Well, the teen spilled the whole truth about how hurt she was that her biological mom only wanted her because she couldn’t have more kids. In fact, the poster also confessed how bizarre the whole situation was since the “mother” was practically a stranger.
Although our lady admitted it was mean, she felt that what the woman was asking was quite unfair. However, after all was said and done, OP felt relieved from all the stress and anxiety that she had been feeling since her biological mom showed up. The teen also revealed that it didn’t really bother her if this bridge was burnt as long as it gave her mental peace.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Research shows that, “During the teenage years, youth form an identity that is separate from their parents. They also learn and practice adult life skills. Adoption adds complexity to the normal developmental tasks of teenagers, even for those who were adopted as newborns.” It must have been challenging for the poster while growing up.
Moreover, finding out that her mother only wants her as a last resort must have added insult to her injury. Netizens pointed out that the woman was actually trying to emotionally manipulate the teen to form a bond. Experts warn that it’s important to set up clear boundaries with such master manipulators, or it can have an adverse impact on the victim’s mental well-being.
Her mom’s behavior was actually affecting OP as she was stressed out and anxious because of the whole situation. Well, I am glad that she set up healthy boundaries before it worsened her condition. Besides, it seems like her adoptive parents are really loving and caring as they let her decide everything that she wanted when it came to her biological mother.
National data collected on adopted children and their families in the United States shows that 85% of them are reported, by their parents, to be in excellent or very good health, and 88% of them aged 6 and older show positive social behaviors. Well, looks like it was a good thing OP was given up for adoption rather than facing neglect from her birth parents.
Don’t you agree? Let us know in the comments below!
Folks online applauded the poster for her update, claiming that she had made the right decision by standing up for herself
