When a bridal couple takes their wedding vows, they are pledged as “partners”. This doesn’t mean that they get to decide what their significant other does with their bodies, right? Unfortunately, some people have a lot of trouble understanding this basic concept.
Just look at the original poster’s (OP) husband, who doesn’t want her to be on birth control as he doesn’t like how it “changes her hormones”. She complained that this is not the first time that he has tried to intervene while making decisions related to her body, so she shut him down, but he just sparked more drama!
More info: Reddit
It's upsetting but true that people think they can have control over their partner's bodies
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster has been married to her husband for 5 years, but she has noticed that he tries to intervene in decisions about her body
Image credits: White101O
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She wanted to be on birth control, but he objected, as he doesn't like how it "changes her hormones", and it's not the first time he has done this
Image credits: White101O
Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He has tried to control other decisions about a haircut or her getting a tattoo, so she reminded him that it's her body and she decides what to do with it
Image credits: White101O
This angered him so much that he blamed her for not considering his feelings and even accused her of being disrespectful
Couples often fight over things, but this one is conflicting over how the husband is trying to control OP’s decision about her body. The thing is, they have been married for 5 years now, and never had major disagreements, until it came to her body. She feels that he doesn’t understand that since it’s her body, she gets to decide what she does with it.
It all started when she expressed that she wanted to go back on birth control again, but he was against it as he doesn’t like how it “changes her hormones”. Now, her argument is that he’s not the one who has to go through the whole anxious process of stressing over whether she’s pregnant or not. She straight out told him so, but probably didn’t expect this reaction from him.
The fellow got all defensive and claimed that she doesn’t care about “his feelings”. Really? This is not the first time, as she has noticed this pattern before, whether it be for getting a haircut or a tattoo. However, he got really annoyed when she told him that she makes decisions about her own body, and even accused her of being “disrespectful”.
Netizens immediately flagged him down as a problematic person, and even I agree with them. However, to get deeper insights into the couple, Bored Panda reached out to Friyana Irani, a counseling psychologist who works at CREDO World School in Dahanu and Mind Wellness Centre in Wadala.
She believes that bodily autonomy is foundational in any healthy relationship. As per her, it reflects the principle that each partner retains ownership over their body, choices, and identity, even within the intimacy of a couple. Without bodily autonomy, relationships risk slipping into control or dependency, she added.
Image credits: drobotdean / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Our expert also stressed that occasional preferences (e.g., “I love your hair this way”) are natural. However, she believes that when comments become repetitive, critical, or aimed at pressuring the partner to change decisions, this crosses into controlling behavior, which is characteristic of emotional manipulation.
We also conversed with Friyana about why some individuals might perceive boundary-setting as rejection or disrespect. She expressed that many people grow up in environments where boundaries were either not modeled or were equated with conflict, defiance, or abandonment.
“As a result, when a partner asserts bodily or personal boundaries, it can feel like rejection or withdrawal of love. But setting boundaries can be reframed in a healthy way. In therapy, I often highlight that boundaries are a form of emotional hygiene, necessary for closeness without enmeshment,” Friyana commented.
She also explained that social conditioning often teaches men that part of their role in heterosexual relationships is to have a say—or even ownership—over their partner’s body and choices. Women, conversely, she said, are frequently socialized to prioritize being desirable or agreeable, which can make asserting bodily autonomy feel like rebellion or selfishness.
Lastly, Friyana concluded, “Respecting bodily autonomy is non-negotiable in a healthy relationship. Disrespecting it can quickly slide into manipulation or control. Boundaries should be reframed as love and self-respect in action, and both partners must remain mindful of how societal conditioning can distort expectations.”
Seems like OP’s husband has a lot to learn, doesn’t he? What would you do in her shoes? Let us know in the comments!
Horrified netizens said that her husband is a big red flag as he's trying to control her body and treats her like his "property"
