If you think about how often friendship dramas and fallouts were started due to legit reasons where somebody did or said something that shouldn’t have been done and how many times they started just because of misinterpretation or miscommunication, I am pretty sure the second option would be more common. And, unsurprisingly, losing friends due to their refusal to even listen is not the nicest thing.
This Reddit user found herself in a very similar situation - after telling a friend that she wished she could eat as much cake as everyone else, having in mind that she was full due to making it all day, she was called fatphobic.
More info: Reddit
Being accused of being ‘fatphobic’ when you really aren’t may be as offensive as being called ‘fat’
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Woman shares that she hosted a birthday dinner for her best friend, made the cake and a lot of different meals, thus after the whole day she had just lost her appetite
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
When everyone was eating, the host ate just a few things, and one friend noticed and asked what was wrong, to which she explained that she just didn’t have an appetite
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Now, when it was cake time, the same friend came over saying that it was amazing, to which the woman answered that she was glad and wished she could eat as much as everyone else
This conversation caused quite a lot of drama as the friend went off at her for calling her fat and told her she should be ashamed of making people feel guilty about eating
Image credits: u/That_Lavishness5376
After a few days, the friend had already spread a word calling her fatphobic and telling the whole story differently from what actually happened
Recently one Reddit user shared her story online seeking to hear a perspective and opinions of community members on whether she was in fact being a jerk by telling a friend that she was full and couldn’t eat as much cake as others, for which she ended up being called fatphobic. The post caught a lot of attention, collecting almost 9K upvotes and over 1.2K comments.
The original poster (OP) started her story by explaining that she organized a birthday dinner for her best friend where she invited all of her closest friends, made the cake, lots of different food and decorated the place, thus it was no surprise that she was exhausted and without an appetite. So when everyone started eating, she just had a few things on her plate, which didn’t go unnoticed by others.
One of the friends, who OP called Sarah, came over asking what was wrong, to which she just explained that she didn’t have that much of an appetite. After this, everything was going great - at least until it was cake time. Again, OP took just a few bites and Sarah came over saying how amazing it was, to which the woman answered that she was really happy and that she wished she could eat as much as everyone else, but she had chugged a drink before and was feeling full.
Well, this was not taken as expected, as Sarah lost it and started yelling at the woman for calling her fat and making people feel guilty about eating. After a few days, she spread the word about the woman being fatphobic and was heard telling the story differently than it had actually happened.
The community members backed up the woman and gave her the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge. “NTA. You were not being fatphobic and did absolutely nothing wrong. Sarah is making up lies about you,” one user wrote. “It was Sarah who raised the subject in the first place, not you. She was policing your eating, not the other way around,” another added.
Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)
Probably most of you are aware that any topic about a person's weight is deeply sensitive, especially as diet culture, unrealistic beauty standards and social media are becoming more and more popular and toxic these days. Luckily, it’s being talked about more and people take mental health much more seriously.
Now, let’s talk a little bit more about ‘fatphobia’ - Within explains that while classic understanding of it involves the pathological fear of fatness, the term is sometimes used to describe anti-fat or weight stigma. It refers to an unconscious prejudice against overweight people, which is frequently based on the false belief that achieving a fit or thin body type is the ultimate life goal.
Probably many of you will agree that when we hear about beauty standards, we immediately think of incredibly slim women, but when we hear about body shaming, we think of it as being directed at overweight people. Well, skinny shaming also exists, which is quite often overlooked - it may not be the same, but any body shaming is hurtful.
In the comments under the OP’s story, a few Reddit users were guessing that she is probably slim and it made Sarah ‘police’ her eating and she was the one shaming her. So we did a little digging and compared skinny shaming and fat shaming.
According to Self, a thin woman may face teasing that she doesn't fit the stereotypical body of femininity and the masculine gaze and often hear remarks that lack of curves is unattractive. Thin women can face food policing: criticism for making the sensible decision to order a salad or outright calls to "eat a cheeseburger" from complete strangers. No surprise that they are often assumed to have eating disorders.
However, Self also added that fat shaming, opposed to skinny shaming, says that a person should be treated with disrespect and as unworthy of simple comforts such as fitting into airplane seats or receiving appropriate medical care, because they did this to themselves. So, fat bias goes above and beyond social interactions.
And what do you guys think about this story? Was the woman being a jerk and should she apologize? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors supported the woman in this situation, saying she didn't do anything wrong
