Woman Tries To Boss Around A Server At A Restaurant, Regrets It When She Gets A Call From Her Manager

You get rude customers and you get rude waitstaff. But what happens when the rude customer is a waitress? She should know better, right? Or so we'd like to think...

A former waitress has shared how she witnessed her junior colleague being bullied by a table of six. Not only was the entitled "ring leader" making ridiculous demands, but she also claimed there were multiple birthdays that night and wanted free cakes. Let's call her Karen for now... When it emerged that Karen was a waitress and trainer at a sister restaurant, the staff clubbed together to teach her a very loud lesson she's unlikely to forget anytime soon.

The customer is not always right. Let's start there...

"When did it become ingrained in our collective psyche that we should take [mistreatment] from complete strangers? Why is it that managers, owners, and staff are too petrified to stand up for themselves? Amidst all the fear, doubt, and desperation, have we lost our sense of self-worth?" writes Seth Gerber, a managing partner of the MIDA restaurant group in Boston.

Gerber, who is a restaurant consultant and teaches hospitality courses at Boston University, adds that it's time for restaurant staff to say "enough is enough" to those who conflate service with servitude.

"When pushed too far, we should reach deep into our recipe book for an old classic: by combining a little dash of poise, two splashes of vigor, and a twist of charm, we can and should occasionally say... [insert your version of get lost here]," Gerber advises.

But he doesn't mean you should literally flip the bird at an entitled customer. Rather, the expert stresses that maintaining and setting clear boundaries is key. We cannot change how other people behave in restaurants, Gerber argues. "Focusing our efforts here is a frustrating and demoralizing waste of time. Instead, we should channel our energy into improving how we manage ourselves and the difficult situations we encounter."

He says that restaurants often make the mistake of trying to be everything to everyone, appeasing the customer at all costs. But he cautions that successful marketing doesn't mean finding as many customers as you can.

"It is about having a laser-focused quality product that is built to attract as many of the right customers as you can," he explains. "It is a hard, but critically important decision to turn some people away in favor of optimizing your business for what you are truly meant to be."

Gerber says that showing someone the door - or kicking them out - should be a last resort because the desired outcome is always customer retention. However, if you ever find yourself in a position where that rude customer needs to be booted, here's how to go about it.

Firstly, make sure you're not mistaking something else for entitlement. And that there was no miscommunication. For example, the customer might have been rude in response to rude staff. Once you've established grounds to ask the person to leave, Gerber warns that you should never lose your cool.

"This includes forgoing any form of unnecessary sarcasm or passive-aggressiveness," says the expert. "Victory does not belong to the person who raises their voice the loudest or gets the nastiest."

He adds that you do, however, have every right to ask a customer not to swear or shout at you or other staff.

"Lay out the case for what the customer does not fully appreciate or cannot see from their point of view. It is not a fight or even a debate," Gerber adds. "Do not make excuses either. You are simply sharing information. Remember that you are a fully competent professional engaging in a respectful conversation. Get it out of your head that you are a groveling humble servant."

The hospitality expert says that when setting the record straight with an entitled customer, a cold calculating delivery is much more effective and impressive.

"As they say," concludes Gerber, "revenge is a dish best served cold."