Infidelity causes pain and deep scars that may linger for a long time. While some have it in their hearts to forgive and move past the betrayal, others may choose to completely sever ties with the cheating partner.
A woman endured this pain courtesy of her fiancé of five years. When she decided to cut all communication with him, her parents sided against her. They questioned whether the two-timing really happened, causing a heated argument.
The author stood by her decision, but her parents’ dissent made her question whether she had done the right thing.
Any form of infidelity is unacceptable and gravely unforgivable for some people
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A woman discovered her fiancé of five years had been cheating for the last nine months, urging her to leave him
She eventually decided to sever all ties with him, a move that didn’t sit well with her parents
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A heated argument between the author and her mother ensued. She also explained how she confirmed the cheating happened
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There is such a thing as post-infidelity stress disorder
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According to the author, the cheating had been going on for nine months before she found out. During this time, she’d gone through episodes of thinking and crying, eventually leading to her decision to cut ties with the ex-fiancé.
While she didn’t elaborate on her experiences after the infidelity, the woman may have experienced what experts refer to as post-infidelity stress disorder.
As explained by clinical psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, the symptoms are similar to the post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that we all know. However, they are more about the effects of a former loved one’s deceit.
In an interview with Very Well Mind, Dr. Romanoff cited rumination and trauma recall as the top two symptoms. These involve recurring thoughts, flashbacks, and even nightmares about what happened.
Later on, the person cheated on may experience manifestations similar to PTSD, such as anxiety, depression, and insomnia. The long-term effects come from trust issues and hypervigilance, which may happen in future relationships.
Dr. Romanoff says some people may be predisposed to post-infidelity stress disorder, particularly those who experienced previous trauma and abuse, as well as those with fragile self-esteem and who struggle with codependency.
“For these people, their partner’s infidelity might exacerbate these underlying difficulties and confirm their beliefs about their own worth and how others treat them,” Dr. Romanoff explained.
Getting past the pain of infidelity is about taking care of yourself
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It may take a while for a betrayed partner to move past the pain of infidelity. But in doing so, they must focus on themselves during the healing process.
According to intimacy and relationship expert Dr. Robert Weiss, moving on may mean taking charge of your life and how you want to live it. In an interview with Brides, Dr. Weiss says it includes evaluating whether or not the relationship is worth saving.
“Both parties have to want to rebuild trust and intimate connection,” he explained.
Likewise, Dr. Weiss advises against living in the past. While he recognizes the “initial stage” where the betrayed partner wonders what else they may or may not know, obsessing over it can become toxic in the long run.
The author did her part in moving on, which included cutting all forms of communication with the person who caused her a great deal of pain. It was her way of taking charge and avoiding living in the past. Her parents could have shown more understanding towards her.
We’d like to know your take, readers. Was the woman’s decision too drastic, as her parents implied? Would it have been a better scenario if she had forgiven him?
Most commenters supported the author’s decision
However, a few criticized her for being a “coward” and “immature”
