Sometimes, when going on a date, people focus on another person more than usual, attempting to judge their character or understand their intentions. While on the one hand, such attempts might result in reading into things that aren’t really there, and therefore simply focusing on having a good time might often be a better strategy, on the other hand, from time to time, without trying very hard, one might encounter a certain deal-breaker in their partner that, trusting their gut feeling, they judge intolerable. Despite there always being a chance of misunderstanding, they may decide to part ways or even go as far as to block the other person, as this Redditor did after getting “tested” during a first date at her favorite restaurant.
More info: Reddit
On their first date, a couple was having a good time, until the woman experienced what she thought to be a test
Image credits: tom balabaud (not the actual photo)
For their date, she had suggested a Mexican place, but the man asked to go to her favorite restaurant
Image credits: GivemethatIwantitnow
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Image credits: GivemethatIwantitnow
Image credits: energepic.com (not the actual photo)
Image credits: GivemethatIwantitnow
The couple was having a good time and when it came time to pay, it was $500+ as it was a luxurious restaurant
Image credits: Tirachard Kumtanom (not the actual photo)
The couple asked for separate bills, as the man let the woman understand that was what he preferred
A woman took her first date experience at her favorite restaurant to Reddit, asking if she was wrong to end things straight after dinner. She explained that for their first date, she suggested going to a Mexican place that has over 300 tequilas in their tequila library, as well as amazing tacos with handmade tortillas. However, when she was asked about her favorite spot, she told the truth and opened up about her favorite restaurant, adding it to be “a bit much for a first date”.
Either way, her date checked the menu and invited her for dinner at this very restaurant. The couple were having a good time, though when it came time to pay, the woman did not appreciate the man’s behavior. She wasn’t sure if the man wanted to split the bill or was trying to invite her to do so, so she waited for his call. They ended up both asking for separate bills almost simultaneously, although the man did it first.
The woman was totally fine with it, but she wasn’t fine with what her date did next, as the man waited until the waitress came back to pick up the bills and then gave her both bills, simultaneously taking the woman’s credit card and saying he would be paying for it all. The woman thanked him for dinner and left, blocking the man as soon as she got into a vehicle. She explained that the reason she blocked him was the game he was playing with her expectations.
As her date invited her and she did assume he was paying, then the man made sure she knew that she should pay for herself, while eventually grabbing the checks and paying it all by himself - annoying the server and his date.
The woman understood the man’s behavior to be a “s**t test” attempting to check if she would pony up to a $250+ each restaurant bill. However, when she shared her story with a friend, her friend focused mostly on the cost of the dinner rather than anything else and told her she was the villain here.
Similarly, Redditors had different takes on the situation, while most people agreed that the man’s behavior of playing games to find out her last name or if she would be willing to pay was off-putting, they also noted that it possibly wasn’t so out of line that she was warranted to block him, instead of having a conversation or at least writing a message. Others similarly suggested the woman could have been more forgiving.
Finally, a Redditor under the name jrm1102 brought up the point that she might have misunderstood the situation, as the man could have simply changed his mind along the way, rather than viciously playing testing games.
The man waited until the waitress came to pick up the bills, grabbed the woman's card, gave both bills to the waitress and said he would pay for it all
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
The woman felt it was a "s**t test", thanked him for dinner and blocked the man as soon as she got to her Uber
Lindsay Dodgson for Insider listed red flags that one might take notice of while on a first date and included the recommendation by Gabriela Reyes of trusting one’s gut feeling when it is telling you that something is off. Reyes recommended taking a bathroom break and checking in with yourself in such cases.
She noted that one’s feelings when around another person should be taken into consideration, even in cases when one is not able to explain them, yet. Similarly, Reyes advised not dismissing your date’s behavior as “first date nerves” if they do something that makes you uncomfortable, as while it may be that they are just being nervous, a certain problem that you observed may very well be real.
Teasing a date in a mean way was also brought up among the red flags as per recommendation by Katie Hood. Hood noted that situations when friendly banter has an edge to it that feels hurtful or mean are another warning sign of toxic behavior. While a bit of teasing is a good way to form connections, by demonstrating people are comfortable enough to make fun of each other, it is something else if a person finds themselves being offended or taken aback by their date’s behavior.
Hood suggested not to be afraid to call another person out in a low-key way on it, by saying things like “That’s not love!”, and not let another person dismiss you for being “too sensitive”, while at the same time taking notice in case this happens repetitively in order to prevent veering into emotional abuse.
Redditors shared their takes on the situation
