To begin with, most of us like to receive compliments. You know, it’s nice to hear from time to time other people appreciating us. Fun fact, did you know that according to The Loquitur, women prefer compliments from women? When women compliment one another rather than a man, it seems as though that it is taken more seriously.
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Unfortunately, women still compete with one another in society today. They frequently criticize one another, act cruelly toward others, or just say things to make another woman look bad so they look better. That’s probably the reason why women prefer compliments from other women, since they are more meaningful and important.
More info: Reddit
Disregarding other person's hard work just to make yourself feel better is never a great decision
Image credits: Elevate (not the actual photo)
Woman asks if she was being a jerk for explaining that her body is not just a result of having no children, but that she has also worked out a lot
Image credits: u/NetActual2149
Image credits: Armin Rimoldi (not the actual photo)
She received a compliment from a coworker about her body, but others discussed that it’s easy to have a nice figure without kids
Image credits: u/NetActual2149
Image credits: Kristina Paukshtite (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/NetActual2149
However, after some time, she couldn’t take it anymore and explained that she also works out a lot, thus having kids doesn’t equal a ‘bad’ body
A few days ago, a woman shared her story to one of the most judgmental communities asking netizens’ opinions on whether she was being a jerk for explaining to her coworkers that her body is nice not only because she is childless, but also because she works out. The story went viral immediately and in just 4 days it had more than 16.4K upvotes and 1.2K comments.
The woman starts her story by sharing that she and a few colleagues from work went to the pool. They were having a nice time, everything was going great. Then, out of nowhere, one of the coworkers complimented OP's body. She shared that she used to dance every day, walks daily with her dog, thus she is lean and muscular.
However, after the compliment, another colleague who is older and has kids added that of course OP has a nice body, because she doesn’t have kids. A few more colleagues discussed how easy it was before kids and that OP’s body is nothing special. The author shares that she felt really uncomfortable with the whole body talk, but enough was enough. She highlighted that not having kids doesn’t mean a ‘good’ body and having kids - a ‘bad’ body. However, the other women slammed OP for downplaying pregnancy.
The author got ‘Not the a-hole’ badge. Community members discussed that these women are using their pregnancy as an excuse and belittling OP to feel better about themselves. “It's literally just jealousy,” one user wrote. “They don't want to hear the truth: that a fit body requires some effort, regardless of maternal status. They want to blame their pregnancies for their being out of shape,” another added.
Image credits: Joe Ciciarelli (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda contacted Heather, who is an author, podcaster, blogger, body image coach, and the founder of Compared To Who? She kindly agreed to share her insights regarding women’s obsession over their bodies before and after kids.
“Comments connecting one’s body size to ‘before children’ perpetuate the belief that we have complete control over how our bodies look and how they respond to physical exercise, food, and other lifestyle choices,” Heather emphasizes. However, it’s not that simple. There are many factors such as genetic, environmental and lifestyle factors that are part of the appearance of our bodies.
She adds that some people will meet culture’s ever-changing beauty standards before having children, some - after, while others will never meet it. The most important thing is to not get hung up on trying to fit the standard of what our bodies ‘should’ look like. “The answer to this tried and true conflict is not in getting the moms to stop judging the childless, it’s in encouraging all women to stop objectifying and judging each other by our body shape, size, or type,” Heather shares.
Moreover, social norms regarding how new mothers should look after giving birth cause women to develop delusional self-perceptions and an unbalanced relationship with food and exercise. Bodies change and this is normal. Heather shares that “Eliminating language that talks about children ‘ruining’ women’s bodies would be a wonderful place to start. Our bodies have one job, that is to keep us alive. The best thing a woman can do if she’s fighting her post-baby body is to be gentle with it, adding in healthier habits that encourage and support the body instead of warring against it.”
Everybody’s bodies are different and that’s completely normal. Saying that a person has a nice body because she is childless is not the best way to give a compliment. Kids don’t ‘ruin’ people’s bodies, they change them, and that’s how it is supposed to be.
Redditors backed the woman up and assured her that she was not being rude in this situation
