Nobody wants their entire life to revolve around being an unpaid babysitter. It’s one thing to help your parents out with raising your siblings from time to time—you’re a member of the family, after all. But it’s another thing entirely if you’ve become a substitute guardian, cleaning up every mess.
Redditor u/ParaKidszol opened up on the AITAH subreddit about a tense situation at home. He shared how his mom is pregnant with yet another baby, which forced him to immediately leave and move in with his grandparents. This is because he’s sick and tired of being a substitute parent for all of his siblings all these years. Scroll down for the full story. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
It can be exhausting if you constantly have to step into the role of a parent and look after your siblings
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A teenager turned to the internet for help after sharing what finally forced him to move out of his parents' place and live with his grandparents
Image credits: Annie Spratt / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ParaKidszol
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Good parents strive to create a nurturing but structured environment at home for their children
If you find yourself always having to be a parent to your siblings, then something has gone wrong at home. It’s natural to help out at home with the chores, childcare, etc., so long as your food, rent, and other needs are being taken care of.
That being said, there need to be healthy boundaries here, too. You should not be the primary guardian as a sibling; your parents have to take on their fair share of the responsibilities and actually, well, parent.
It’s going to raise more than a few eyebrows if someone learns that a couple dumps all of their responsibilities on one of their children while the rest of their kids run wild. Occasional misbehavior is part of being a kid. However, if children are constantly throwing temper tantrums and have no sense of proper behavior in public and private, then it’s likely a problem with how they’re being raised.
In short, good parents look for a way to balance love with discipline. They have to actually follow through with consequences if their children constantly misbehave and ignore any and all rules.
This fits in nicely with the four main parenting styles. Authoritative parenting is the ideal, while authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved parenting all have major drawbacks.
Parents who are authoritative provide nurturing, caring, supportive environments at home, while also focusing on good communication, transparency, and taking their kids’ feelings into account. At the same time, these parents also set high demands for acceptable behavior and set out very clear rules and consequences.
Kids who grow up in authoritative households tend to become socially well-adjusted, resilient, independent, confident, and academically capable adults. Not so with other parenting styles.
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved parenting styles all have major drawbacks compared to authoritative parenting
For instance, authoritarian households prioritize strictness and discipline above warmth and care. There’s very little (if any) two-way communication with the kids, but there’s an overwhelming amount of rules and restrictions. These parents’ children either rebel or grow up anxious and lacking initiative.
Meanwhile, permissive parents are the complete opposite: they prioritize love and support at the expense of any kind of restrictions or rules at home. For them, their kids are more their friends than actual children who need guidance.
Children raised by permissive parents might have good self-esteem, but they are often impulsive, demanding, and have issues with self-regulation.
What’s more, they’re often unprepared for adulthood because they haven’t experienced a lot of rejection or failure.
Lastly, uninvolved parents are exactly that—uninvolved. They might be extremely busy with work, have poor mental health or other issues, or have little to no emotional connection with their children.
In short, they pay barely any attention to their children. There are little to no rules at home. There’s also a lack of a nurturing environment.
The consequence of this is that children who grow up in these homes have to become extremely independent in order to take care of themselves and their siblings. They might be resilient and self-sufficient, but they may have problems developing and maintaining social relationships. Meanwhile, their self-esteem can suffer, too.
Many internet users rushed to offer the author some practical advice
A lot of readers were very supportive of the teen. Here's what they told him
