Man Refuses To Accept GF’s Excuses For Why She Gained Weight, Wants Her To Go Back To 110 Pounds

Time goes on, and people change — both inside and out. Now that doctor and Reddit user _This_isnt_fine_ is approaching her thirties, she's happy to be done with med school and would be excited about the future if it wasn't for one thing.

As the woman explained in a post on r/TrueOffMyChest, her long-term boyfriend is unhappy that she no longer looks like she did when they first started dating. Throughout the years, she's gained a few pounds and that, apparently, is a huge problem for him.

"When we are stressed, our bodies create more of a hormone called cortisol," explains Dr. Kristy Dalrymple, a licensed clinical psychologist, associate director of the outpatient psychiatry practice at Rhode Island Hospital, and director of adult psychology at Rhode Island and The Miriam hospitals.

According to her, cortisol is partly responsible for how our body responds to danger, acts as an internal alarm clock for waking up and going to sleep, helps control blood pressure and glucose metabolism, and can reduce inflammation. Some medications use cortisol—known as hydrocortisone—to help reduce inflammation, either topically or systemically, such as over-the-counter creams for swelling and itching from bug bites.

Too much or too little cortisol can contribute to certain health conditions, including:

"When we feel stressed—as many of us have for the last few years—our bodies can tip toward releasing too much cortisol, leading to weight gain, acne, trouble sleeping, headaches, and digestive problems," Dalrymple says.

"The production of cortisol can also trigger your body to release extra insulin, and together these two hormones can lead your body to storing extra fat around the abdomen. Additionally, for many people, eating comforting foods is one way we respond to stress. The problem is that those foods tend to be less nutritionally valuable for our bodies and contain more calories than our body can expend."

Lifestyle choices require motivation to come from within, and if the Redditor isn't interested in making the effort, her boyfriend can't force her to lose weight. If anyone, it's her doctor, not him, who should discuss this topic with her. But judging from the post, there are no health issues—which makes her boyfriend look even worse. In fact, it's entirely possible that the true reason for his dissatisfaction comes from a deeper place.

It's true that people value looks in their long-term partners. One study suggests that 92 percent of men and 84 percent of women say it's "desirable/essential" that their potential partner be good-looking, and 80 percent of men as well as 58 percent of women want them to have a slender body. But since this particular couple is six years into a relationship, the situation is a little different.

"When people are asked to list the most important qualities in a potential partner, kindness, physical attractiveness, an exciting personality, and income/earning potential tend to top the list," says Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychology at Michigan State University.

"But once you're actually involved in a relationship, some of these traits become more important than others."

"Research ... found that those whose partners meet their ideals in terms of warmth and loyalty are more satisfied with their relationships. Having a partner who meets one's ideals in terms of physical attractiveness, excitement, status, and wealth, on the other hand, is much less correlated with overall satisfaction," Seidman explains.

"Research also found that having a partner who fell short on attractiveness, status, and excitement did not affect satisfaction if that partner was also highly warm, kind, and loyal. In other words, those more 'superficial' traits were not important at all for those whose partners were kind, understanding, and loyal."