We all have secrets, but when you've been going out with someone for a while, there comes a time when you have to start opening up about those secrets. My therapist says that being vulnerable and sharing things is an important aspect for a relationship to move forward.
Just take the example of the original poster (OP) who is annoyed that her boyfriend of 6 months absolutely refuses to let her in his house. She keeps wondering the reason why as he always comes up with lame excuses to avoid it, and even netizens are highly confused about his secret!
More info: Mumsnet
When a relationship progresses, you have to let the person in and start sharing things; otherwise, it might not work out
Image credits: alexeyzhilkin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
For the last 6 months, the poster has been with a guy who was widowed 10 years ago, and he has a 35-year-old daughter who lives with him
Image credits: Swimminglikeaswan
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
They spend five nights together per week, but it's always at her place as he never lets her visit his house, even though she has waited outside in the car
Image credits: Swimminglikeaswan
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She is not able to understand why because whenever she confronts him about it, he comes up with a lame excuse
Image credits: Swimminglikeaswan
This is really bothering her as she expects more transparency from him after dating for 6 months, so she might consider a break from him
Today, we are going to dive into quite a strange story that left netizens scratching their heads with confusion after OP’s boyfriend refused to let her visit his home. She tells us that they have been going out for 6 months and she finds him lovely.
His backstory is that he was widowed 10 years ago and now lives with his daughter who is 35 years old. The poster adds that the daughter doesn’t contribute to anything in the house and has no intention of leaving the nest. Furthermore, she has also been standoffish when the poster has tried to be friendly with her; however, OP does get along with his elder daughter.
Now, it all sounds fine, but the big problem pops up when the couple spends time together, which is five nights a week, and it's always at her place. There have been times when she has waited outside his house in the car, but she's never been invited inside.
Whenever she brings up the topic, he always has an excuse up his sleeve that the house is messy or he’s decorating so that it will be nice when she comes to visit, blah, blah, blah. It honestly sounds very suspicious, doesn’t it? It's only natural for the poster to feel confused about the whole thing because this is definitely not normal behavior.
She says that the outside seems fine, so she can’t imagine the inside being bad either. Plus, his family knows her, so she has ruled out the possibility that there’s someone else, and all she can think of is that it’s probably a “marriage” shrine. She’s also tired of always hosting him and is really considering whether it’s worth it or if she should take a break from him.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Many folks found the guy very suspicious and they couldn’t really wrap their heads around his strange behavior. Some even said that it was unfair how the poster always ended up hosting him, and honestly, we agree with them because hosting involves spending money and she mentions that he only helps occasionally.
According to Statista, “In October 2024, prices had increased by 2.6 percent compared to October 2023 according to the 12-month percentage change in the consumer price index—the monthly inflation rate for goods and services in the United States.” With inflation on the rise, I definitely wouldn’t want to be a host all the time.
Some pointed out that the guy’s house could actually be a shrine to his ex-wife that he didn’t want her to see, while some even expressed that it could be some other creepy thing that they couldn’t even think of. A few claimed that it could be because his daughter didn’t like her, so he refused to let her in.
Others were offended by how OP called her the “third wheel” and said that it was unfair of her to expect things to move so quickly in a 6-month-old relationship. They said that the daughter had lost her mother and the poster didn’t get to decide whether she “flew the nest” or not.
Research says that grief most often gets less intense over time, but the sense of loss can last for decades, and certain events, mementos or memories can bring back strong emotions that usually last for a short time. Netizens said that the loss might still be affecting the daughter, so she was living with her father.
Some even questioned whether the poster wanted such a complicated and strange relationship, and said that a break might actually work, while a few suggested that she give an ultimatum to the guy. However, ultimatums are never a good sign in a relationship, are they?
What do you think the poster should do about it? Feel free to express yourself in the comments!
Folks were equally confused by his behavior and suggested quite a few thought-provoking things, including the fact that his house might be a "shrine to his ex"
