FOMO is the worst, isn’t it? In a world where everyone’s posting their highlight reels, it’s so easy to feel like you’re never at the best party. So, being purposefully excluded from one can wreck your whole night.
One woman turned to an online community to vent after her boyfriend and so-called friends left her stranded in a pub, then ghosted her for the night. After going to bed hurt and confused, she woke up to a flood of apologetic texts. Then the ugly truth surfaced.
More info: Reddit
Nobody likes feeling left out or ignored, especially by people they’re supposedly close to and care about
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman, who lost 3 family members to illegal substance reasons, was hoping for a romantic date night with her boyfriend after two weeks of barely seeing each other
Image credits: palinchak / Freepik (not the actual photo)
At the last minute, the date turned into a group get-together with mutual friends, but her boyfriend assured her that they’d squeeze in some couple time
Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After she got back from using the bathrooms, her friends and boyfriend had vanished, and nobody was answering her calls or texts, so she went home hurt and confused
Image credits: ditchedandignored
She woke up to a flood of apologetic texts from her boyfriend, but another friend confessed they’d ditched her to take illegal substances, so she dumped her boyfriend and cut everyone off
What was supposed to be a rare, romantic date night turned into a surprise group hang, but the original poster’s (OP) boyfriend promised they’d still squeeze in some couple time. Spoiler: they didn’t. After barely ten minutes in a crowded bathroom line, she emerged to find her boyfriend gone, friends vanished, and zero explanations.
Now stranded because he drove her, she faced a grim choice: walk alone at night or Uber it. She texted, called, panicked, but nothing. Eventually she went home, only to discover via Facebook photos that the group wasn’t even at the planned club, meaning she could’ve searched all night like a rejected rom com extra in heels.
By morning, apologies had flooded in. The excuse? The bartender was supposed to relay the message, and the club was “too loud” to hear their phones. Then the real truth dropped: they ditched her on purpose to do hard illegal substances, deciding she’d “ruin the vibe,” and calling it a favor because of her family history with tragic illegal substance losses.
For OP, that was the final straw. She called him up, he admitted guilt, and, under pressure, confessed they’d all ignored her just to party guilt-free. So, she did the healthiest thing possible - dumped him on the spot, cut off the whole bunch, and selected self-respect. Because with friends like that, who needs enemies, right?
Let’s be honest, you can’t really blame OP for going scorched earth on the whole mess. What a way to find out the people you care most about don’t give a hoot about you. If you’ve ever been through something like OP did, you can probably relate, and medical science has some interesting things to say about it.
Image credits: Grinvalds / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The experts at Psychology Today say that social rejection activates areas in the brain which are also involved in processing physical pain, so being iced out like OP was stings because your brain literally lights up in the same places as when you’re physically hurt. Wild.
This goes way back. Because our ancestors needed groups to survive, evolution wired our brains to treat threats to social connections like threats to the body itself. End result? When you’re excluded, your nervous system responds with distress signals very much like those for injury.
In her interview with VeryWellMind, Melissa Legere, Clinical Director and co-founder of California Behavioral Health, says the fear of being excluded “usually comes from a mix of wanting to ‘fit in’ and the anxiety that you might be left out of something important.”
If you’re being socially excluded, the pros over at PsychCentral have some strategies to help you deal, including validating your emotions, reaching out (but not venting) to someone else, and interrogating your values to see if they’re still aligned with the people excluding you.
We’d say OP is way better off without “friends” that would ditch her for a night on illegal substances. As for her boyfriend, at least she bolted when she got a good look at his true colors. What. A. Jerk.
What’s your take? Is ditching someone without warning ever acceptable, or does that cross an unforgivable line no matter the excuse? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers said her so-called friends did her a favor because, in the end, the trash took itself out
