Sometimes, we see people in toxic relationships and wonder why they stay despite all the trouble. The truth is that we can’t really judge anyone, as we don’t know the internal affairs. Despite that, watching the victims finally walk away can feel like our own victory.
Speaking of such couples, this woman didn’t even realize that she was stuck in an emotionally violent relationship. Her boyfriend of 7 months was so jealous that he made ridiculous rules to control her whole life, until she felt like she was going crazy. Here’s how she finally stood up for herself…
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, people don't even realize that they are in a toxic relationship, even when everyone else can see it
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The poster's boyfriend of 7 months was extremely jealous and made ridiculous "rules" just so he could control everything about her
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He also tried to manipulate when, what, and for how long she could speak with her guy friends, and fought even if she smiled at a guy
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In fact, he constantly broke into arguments when she chatted with her close guy friend, and got annoyed if she got his texts when she was with him
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The poster's boyfriend had gaslighted and manipulated her so much that she actually started to believe that she was being an awful girlfriend to him
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Netizens called the guy a massive red flag, as he had also displayed violent tendencies, and they opened her eyes to the fact that she was in a toxic relationship
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She soon gave an update that the guy had totally flipped when she went out with her friends and had dinner with them instead of him
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Moreover, he also threw a fit that she didn't "act like a couple" in front of her childhood friend, who was visiting, and had a massive fight
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They also had a tiff when she got a text from her guy friend, and the frustrated poster realized that she was done with his toxic behavior
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Moreover, the poster was horrified when she went through his phone and found flirty texts with his ex, which was very hypocritical of him
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The poster wanted to end things with him for good, but he begged her to wait till his exams, so she controlled herself, but she had emotionally checked out
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Netizens urged the poster to end things at the earliest, but they also showered her with love and strength as she was feeling ashamed of herself
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Much to their delight, she gave an update that she broke up with him, but even then, he kept accusing her of being "inappropriate" with her guy friends
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She graduated from college and planned to stay with her parents for some time, while also trying to heal from all the trauma that he had caused
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The poster was still full of self-doubt, scared for the future, and missed being with him, but felt that letting go of him was the best thing that she had done
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Netizens were more than delighted that the poster finally took a stand for herself and got rid of the guy before anything untoward happened
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She also gave a happy update after 2 years, claiming that healing from the trauma had been very challenging, but therapy had helped her a lot
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The poster was finally able to settle down, get a new job, and a new apartment, so she was more than enjoying her newfound freedom
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She also had a piece of advice for people stuck in such a toxic relationship, that letting go can be difficult, but in the end, anyone can do it to reclaim their life
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Not only was she still in touch with her guy bestie, whom her ex had fought over, but she also had new female friends that he wouldn't have allowed her to have
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Lastly, she also spilled the tea about her new boyfriend, who was the exact opposite of toxic, and she was very happy to be in a healthy relationship
Today’s tale is quite traumatizing, but it has a joyful ending for the 25-year-old original poster (OP). She had been with her boyfriend, "Peter," for 7 months and felt like she had found the perfect guy. However, there was a darker side to him, which was his extreme jealousy. That’s why he made a long list of ridiculous rules about what, when, and how much she could talk with her guy friends.
It also included things she could wear, what she said, how she lived, and you get the gist. Basically, he wanted to control every aspect of her life. As if this was not enough, things exploded because she often chatted with her close friend, "James." In fact, Peter manipulated and gaslit her so much that the poor woman started to believe she was an awful girlfriend.
Not only did they have constant arguments and fights, but she also lost good friends because of his jealousy. Peter turned her whole life into a nightmare, as anything she did on her own would upset him. However, things got heated when she noticed that he was being a hypocrite. While he banned her from talking to her ex, he was exchanging flirtatious texts with his ex, and the OP was utterly upset.
After months of suffering, the author did eventually dump him, despite his protests that he would “change.” Even while breaking up, he accused her of being inappropriate with her guy friends. That’s when she knew she had made the right decision, but healing was still very difficult. Delightfully enough, she gave an update 2 years later, saying her life had turned for the better after ditching him.
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Netizens were delighted by the poster’s joyful ending, but also expressed their sympathy that she had to go through the trauma in the first place. Sadly, a study revealed that 40% of women in their survey reported expressive aggression and 41% reported coercive control. It further stressed that the effects of emotional violence were just as detrimental as the effects of physical mistreatment.
Moreover, researchers highlight that victims of psychological cruelty almost lose their identity and emotional security, which breeds anxiety and fear. They add that “it takes away the wonderful, positive characteristics of their nature and seeks to replace them with false truths and negative images. It attempts to hijack the personal power and sense of self for the benefit and control of the manipulator.”
We can’t even begin to imagine what the original poster went through in those few months. Experts emphasize that experiencing emotional cruelty is difficult, but recovering from it can also be pretty challenging. Some survivors may experience PTSD, constant fear, or even feel that they are always on edge, but therapy definitely helps them deal with this difficult process.
Well, I am glad that the author sought professional help and got better. I think that even netizens heaved a huge sigh of relief after knowing that she was doing so well in life after leaving him. It just goes to show that no matter how tough, humans can overcome anything they set their mind to, right? What are your thoughts about the story? Feel free to drop them in the comments section!
Netizens were overjoyed by the positive ending, and many applauded the poster for walking away and seeking professional help
