Becoming a parent is an important step in a person's life. And despite some people's opinions, it's actually not a crucial one. Yes, it brings another layer to someone's existence, but it doesn't mean that those who choose not to add that layer are any less valuable. Not everyone is made to be a parent and in this case, regretting not becoming a parent is better than regretting becoming one and holding a grudge over a kid.
In today's story, a woman is sure she doesn't want to be a mom—instead, she wants her career to flourish. Yet, her boyfriend desperately wants to be a dad and keeps trying to convince her to change her mind. So, when she comes online for advice about what to do, and in this case, netizens give her kind of a predictable answer.
More info: Reddit
While becoming a parent is a life-changing step in a person's life, it is not a crucial one
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
While planning their future together, a military couple ran into one challenge — different views on parenthood
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To be more specific, a man desperately wants to be a dad, while the woman is repulsed by the idea of becoming a mom
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Instead of getting pregnant and being stuck at home changing diapers, she wants to go further in her career
Image credits: cfthrowaway7
Yet, the man keeps trying to change her mind, but she can see that his promises are too impractical to become a reality
The OP and her boyfriend are military personnel. Their relationship is serious enough that they’re discussing getting married in the near future. Yet, there’s one problem – parenthood. To be more specific, their different views on it.
The thing is, the man desperately wants to be the dad of at least 2 kids. This is no surprise – the media likes to present women as having baby fever, but in reality, men are more likely to audibly express their desire to become parents.
This story is no exception since the person wanting kids is the man, while the woman isn’t a fan of the idea. In fact, she’s even kind of terrified of it.
First of all, she’s a career-driven individual, so, being pregnant and later being on maternity leave would put her career on hold. Yes, it is possible for a woman to juggle both – some mothers do that very successfully – but it comes at the price of being a very difficult task.
Plus, for it to realistically work, they must have a good support system, both at work and at home. After all, they technically have to split their attention between the two, so having someone on each side is not only useful – it’s crucial. And if they don’t, it makes their situation even harder and sometimes, sadly, even impossible.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In the OP’s case, since she’s in the Marine Corps, she has strict physical fitness standards to keep up with. It’s a well-known fact that pregnancy changes a woman’s body a lot. From body weight and temperature to skin, hair, and nails, as well as the endocrine, cardiovascular, and respiratory systems – just to mention a few – gestation alters a woman's body in almost every imaginable way.
And so, for the original poster, these changes could mean that she won’t be able to keep up with the standards that are expected of her, meaning that she would be passed up for promotions and things like that, which would stagnate her career. The woman mentioned that she’s very career-driven, so any kind of stagnation isn’t something she wants – she wants to have a successful career more than she wants to be a mom.
Yet, her boyfriend still hopes to convince her otherwise. He keeps saying that they would split the responsibilities and that he would do his fair share of parenting. The thing is, she knows that, in reality, it wouldn’t work out that nicely – his job requires deployments, so that means that a lot of responsibility would fall on her shoulders. And it’s the last thing she wants.
So, the woman went online for advice. How could they solve this pickle so neither of them would end up disappointed?
Well, sadly, netizens pointed out that, in their case, some disappointment is going to happen. To be more specific, they said that it seemed that the relationship had reached its end – and that it wasn’t such a bad thing. A sad reality, yes, but in the long run, ending things with someone who is so incompatible with your future plan is the best choice that could be made.
What do you think? Is this the end of this couple’s relationship, or is there another way they can handle it?
When she asked for advice online, most of the netizens had only one suggestion – break up, as the couple was way too incompatible to go further without being toxic
