Mothers and daughters tend to form close relationships. They confide in each other, share honest advice, and provide support whenever they need it. The strong bond was also confirmed by research, with the reason being that they share the same understanding and empathy that other relationships lack.
Redditor Blooming_Onion5904 has a close bond with her mother too. They have no off-limits topics and share recommendations about anything and everything. One evening, while staying at her parents' house, she was chatting away with her mom without noticing where the conversation was going. However, her boyfriend in the next room did and became majorly grossed out by it, which the girlfriend had none of.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with its author, who kindly agreed to answer a few questions about it.
Some daughters and mothers are fortunate to have a close relationship
Image credits: drazenphoto (not the actual photo)
However, this guy found his girlfriend's and her mother's relationship too close and weird, which led him to cause a scene
Image credits: ORION_production (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ivanmorenosl (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)
Image source: Blooming_Onion5904
We at Bored Panda were lucky enough to get in touch with the original poster of this story, who kindly agreed to answer a few of our questions. Firstly, we were curious to know what inspired her to share it online. "I was on the fence about the entire situation, and I was already a listener of the [AITA] podcast, so I decided to share my story to see what the general consensus was, as this community is an impartial one and gives great responses. And I love the host and the guests she has. So even if I didn't get featured on her podcast, I would still get the community answers, so it was a win-win," she told us.
She also shared that her relationship with her mother was generally close, but it got a bit rocky in her early teens. "Once I hit about 17 and my parents divorced, I had to move in with her, and so we got super close and became best friends."
At the time of the interview, the original poster still felt unsure about the whole situation with her ex-partner. "The friends that didn't attack me for my decision have made it clear that they will support me regardless of my decision but have told me that they think my ex is a douche haha. I don't necessarily blame them, hence why my ex and I are still ~just~ friends and nothing more."
She signed off by saying, "I would just like to add that resentment is a horrible thing. Don't get back together with someone just because others want you to. Do what YOU want to do, and what YOU think is best. I think it's better to be alone, than be with someone and resent them. It's not fair for either party, especially yourself. And if you aren't sure about what to do about something, especially reentering a relationship, err on the side of caution like I did. You broke up for a reason, and it's not always going to be as simple as forgive and forget."
96% of moms get along well with their daughters
A study researching mother-daughter relationships found that 96% of moms get along well with their daughters, 86% talk about many topics, and 90% spend a lot of time together. Meanwhile, 90% of daughters believe their mothers listen to them, and 88% report that their opinions are respected.
The data also showed that the majority of them ask each other for advice, mostly about daily and social affairs, relationship issues, health, and the future. The most common activities they reported doing together were having supper, watching television, going to stores, or visiting friends.
In fact, research has revealed that the mother-daughter relationship is the strongest of all parent-child bonds. Experts explain that while connections between parents and children are based on love, they aren’t always as strong in the empathy department.
It was found that the part of the brain that regulates emotions is more similar between mothers and daughters than any other pairing.
This means that mothers are more likely to understand their daughters when they’re faced with a problem than anyone else, as they can better imagine themselves in their shoes. The finding also explains why they often butt heads too, after all, the same sides of the magnet push each other away.
48% wish they would be closer to their mothers than they are
While others maintain close bonds with their mothers throughout their lives, there are also those (48%) who wish they would be closer to them than they are. Experts note that these feelings are very real and not uncommon. Therefore, it’s crucial to acknowledge and validate these emotions.
“It's important to hold space for all types of relationships with moms because even those who harbor anger, resentment, or sadness towards their mothers often also yearn for the particular and irreplaceable bond between a mother and child,” says Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, the founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy.
One of the reasons that children remain more distant from their mothers is because of their differing personalities. “Differing personalities mean any diverging traits or temperaments that impact the ability to connect,” Erisa M. Preston, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist, says.
Any unresolved resentment can also be a big part of it. Past conflicts, misunderstandings, or unmet expectations can create distance or anger toward the parent. Even one too-critical comment on a child’s appearance can leave them negatively reacting to any remarks about how they look in adulthood.
For those who aren’t as close to their birth parent as they’d like to be, experts advise keeping in mind that they’re not alone. “Not everybody has a close or healthy relationship with their mom or their child, whether because of things beyond their control or because of boundaries they have chosen to make and enforce,” says Dr. Preston. “This can be quite painful for people longing for a closer or more fulfilling relationship.”
For others who have a strong bond with their mom, it's best not to take it for granted and continue growing the relationship by showing respect, understanding, and cherishing the moments together (just like the author of this story).
The author jumped to the comments to provide more information on the situation
The readers believed she made the right decision
