In theory, all relationships should be equal. By that, we mean that all matters, whether it's finances, household chores, or all the other things should be split equally between the partners. Yet, in reality, realizing such a thing can be challenging, as there are always factors that might be in the way of it.
Still, a couple should strive towards it. Imbalance can bring so much distress and might even ruin a relationship in a long run. That's something that a couple from today's story faces—their financial situation is so unequal, that it drives the woman mad. What's even worse is the fact the man isn't stressed about it at all. And let's just say that it causes quite a rift between them.
More info: Mumsnet
While being truly 50/50 financially in a relationship is rather unrealistic, that doesn't mean it shouldn't be a goal for a couple to strive for
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
A woman's boyfriend has always been tight with money, but recently, this habit of his started to grate her
Image credits: lazy_bear / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Not for no reason—it started to cost her quite a lot, as he would never suggest paying for their food or anything else
Image credits: stockking / Freepik (not the actual photo)
But while he never paid for anything for his girlfriend, he never had a problem paying for his female colleagues' drinks
When the woman complained about it all online, people hurried to tell her to rethink the relationship—is he someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with?
The OP’s boyfriend has been careful with his money. Well, being cautious with money isn’t a bad habit. Budgeting, auditing your spending, setting goals, and everything like that are normal things to do when you don’t want to be financially careless.
Yet, it’s always important to be mindful and not to cross a line when being careful becomes toxic. When every single purchase, even the necessary ones, causes worry and impacts your quality of life, that’s when the line is crossed.
In the context of today’s story, the excessive worry about money mostly grates not the person himself, but rather his girlfriend, instead. And it’s not only annoying for her—it’s expensive, too.
For example, anytime they get takeout, he always lets her pay or she always pays for fresh groceries when they cook. If he does pay, he usually gets out-of-date groceries to save some money.
The thing is, this man isn’t struggling financially, so such excessive savings is, in fact, excessive. He owns his house, his mortgage is paid off, and he earns over £3k a month, so it isn’t that he needs to count every single cent. Yet, he does.
So, the woman started asserting boundaries and trying to make the relationship more equal. While in reality, achieving perfect 50/50 in all matters of a relationship is rather unfeasible, as there are factors that make the percentage a little skewed, it doesn’t mean that trying to achieve the closest number possible is pointless. Finances are no exception here, especially if both parties make around a similar amount of money.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The OP tried doing so by making him pay his share of things, but it still didn’t really change his behavior. He still remained stingy with money. For instance, not offering any cash for petrol for a 3-hour ride. Or not transferring money for food when he specifically promised to.
The worst thing about his stinginess isn’t even the fact that it’s annoying and costly to his girlfriend. It’s who he chooses to be like that with. Apparently, he has no problem with buying his female colleagues drinks but never buys anything for his partner. When called out on that, he writes it off as the OP being jealous, which makes her even more frustrated.
When the woman posted about this story online, netizens were quick to point out that the relationship didn’t seem to be healthy. This man seems to never put his girlfriend first, which is an important thing in a healthy relationship. Of course, it shouldn’t go too far, so it wouldn’t turn into a codependent relationship, but doing so at least sometimes is crucial.
But this man never does. Instead, he chooses to keep up with his principles that impact his—and more significantly, his partner’s—life. So, people online urged this woman to rethink the relationship—is this a person she wants to stay with for the rest of her life and even maybe have kids with?
To the joy of online folks, in the update, the gal shared that she decided to end the relationship as it was no longer working. Hopefully, in the future, she'll manage to find someone more worthy of her.
The woman took their advice, and in the update, she revealed that the relationship came to an end
