The expectations we have for our romantic relationships tend to come from seeing how our parents behave with each other. This might become our point of comparison and guide how we want future partners to be, which can actually be problematic sometimes.
This is exactly what happened when a man told his girlfriend that he wanted her to be somewhat like his housewife mom in the future, without even considering what she wanted. This led to a big conflict between them, and the woman didn’t know if their relationship would survive it.
More info: Reddit
Some people expect their partner to do things just like their mom or dad did, which is an unrealistic expectation to have
Image credits: Camandona / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the poster and her boyfriend visited his hometown for his grandma’s funeral, she noticed how his mom managed the entire household
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The man’s mom streamlined his dad’s life and was content cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry all day long
Image credits: valeria_aksakova / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Although the woman appreciated her boyfriend’s mom’s way of life, she was sure she never wanted to do that, but was shocked when he said he expected that
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster told her boyfriend that if he wanted her to be a stay-at-home mom in the future, then they should break up right now
Image credits: Key-Adagio-793
The difference in opinions between them angered the boyfriend, and he didn’t talk to the poster for days, which made her realize they are incompatible
When the OP and her boyfriend traveled to his hometown for his grandma’s funeral, that’s when she realized just how much work his mom did the entire day. Since she had to take care of all the meals and household chores, she would work from morning to night to make sure the home ran smoothly and that her husband’s life was streamlined.
Many women do enjoy this homemaker lifestyle, and some mothers even state that the reason why it’s such a good option for them is that it helps them connect with their kids. This stay-at-home mom life isn’t for everyone, but it does give many women joy and helps them create a rich family life.
The poster also understood that and saw how much her boyfriend’s mom enjoyed managing everything and looking after everyone. Despite that, the OP realized that it was definitely not the lifestyle for her, which is why she was shocked when her boyfriend shared that he wanted her to take up that kind of role in the future.
Even though traditional gender roles are slowly changing with time, research shows that many millennial men, like the poster’s boyfriend, still expect their wives to be homemakers. This might be because of the way they have been raised, or possibly as an attempt to resist how men's and women's roles have changed in society.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster immediately became defensive when her boyfriend expressed how he wanted her to be more of a stay-at-home mom, and she stated that she didn’t want that at all. Instead, she saw them both having an equal partnership in the future and not one where she catered to all of his needs.
Even though studies have found that the number of stay-at-home moms has increased by 10% since 2022, the choice to do so is still in the hands of women. Every woman must decide for herself whether she wants to choose this path or not, instead of having it thrust upon her by someone else.
In this case, though, it seemed like the poster’s boyfriend couldn’t accept that she didn’t want to be a housewife like his mom. He felt annoyed by her ultimatum of breaking up if they couldn’t agree on the matter, and he even ghosted her for a few days because of the conflict.
According to a relationship counselor, men might not often realize that marriage is supposed to be a partnership, especially because of their childhood experiences. That’s why these kinds of discussions might help men get a new perspective and understand that their relationship should be on a more equal footing.
It’s great that the poster was able to stand up for herself and shut down her boyfriend’s skewed expectations. Hopefully, he also comes to the realization that he can’t pile his demands on her, or else their relationship probably won’t survive this.
Do you think the woman was right to issue such an ultimatum to her boyfriend? Let us know what you think and on whose side you are.
People were shocked by the boyfriend’s expectations and felt that the poster needed to end the relationship as soon as possible
