There might be bigger or smaller miscommunications in relationships, but the effort to listen and pay attention to the other person’s feelings plays a big role here due to the simple truth that if one’s partner is not interested in understanding them, they most likely won’t.
Sometimes, though, demonstration might help to shift another person’s perception and let them empathize with their partner more. This Redditor decided to take this road after her boyfriend brushed off her feelings about him liking provocative pictures of other women online, and she surprised him by posting one such picture herself.
More info: Reddit
A woman's boyfriend seemed to be confused whether he likes pictures of semi-dressed women online or not
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
The man kept liking such pictures online, despite it making his girlfriend feel uncomfortable
Image credit: u/Ok_Computer2422
Image credits: Jerney Graj (not the actual photo)
Image credit: u/Ok_Computer2422
The girlfriend then posted a picture of herself in a g-string bikini, which made her boyfriend freak out
Image credits: geo uc (not the actual photo)
The man went slamming doors and yelling that she doesn't respect herself
A woman shared her story with the Pettyrevenge subreddit community online of showing her boyfriend the other side of the activity he takes part in, which did not fail to make the boyfriend freak out.
The woman explained that her boyfriend kept following and liking provocative pictures of semi-dressed women online. Even though she tried to discuss it, explaining that it made her feel uncomfortable, the man dismissed her feelings, saying “it’s just Instagram”.
So the girlfriend posted a picture of herself in a similar style, specifically in a g-string bikini. The man’s response upon seeing it was freaking out, slamming doors and yelling about the woman “not respecting herself”, him being embarrassed, that being weird and him not wanting his girlfriend doing that.
The woman refused to take down the picture, explaining to him that she only posted what he likes, confirming to Redditors she doesn’t feel bad at all about finally making her boyfriend suffer from the same activity he tried to dismiss as nothing or "just Instagram".
Despite her boyfriend asking otherwise, the woman kept the picture up, because she "only posted what he liked"
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
The woman’s story blew up on Reddit, racking up 36.9k upvotes in just 6 days and people were bringing up various aspects of the story in the comment section. While some were pointing out the young age of the couple and calling it to be “within the lesson-learning stage”, others were less optimistic and suggested leaving the man as the girlfriend’s next act of petty revenge.
Finally, many commenters agreed the man’s behavior to be “double standards in a nutshell”, bringing attention to other posts by OP concerning the man’s preferences and advising her on how to call out double standards in other areas as well.
In their article Double Standards: How to Identify and Avoid Them in Relationships, Verywell Mind discussed various areas where double standards tend to occur in relationships, including finances, physical appearance, sexual behavior, and social lives. They explained that double standards occur when an individual has certain expectations of their partner but does not believe the same expectation should be applied to them.
They gave examples of expecting one’s partner to save money, while spending frivolously and racking up a ton of debt. Or believing that one may flirt with other people while getting upset and accusing their partner of doing the same.
While sometimes a person might not be aware of holding double standards, it might be a good idea to point it out to them and work out a solution together. Verywell Mind listed tips on how to do it effectively. These included organizing one’s thoughts and maybe even writing down exactly what one wishes to say, as well as managing emotions by trying one’s best to stay calm and resist the urge to raise one's voice or use threats. They also suggest communicating face-to-face, rather than text, being clear and direct about one’s needs, and considering couple’s therapy if needed.
Redditors shared their takes on the situation
